Majin's

SMARTER Gala Night Musical: Oddy's Quest

2011-05-02T23:51:00.003+08:00

Heya folks.

Have blogs fallen out of trend in favour of things like facebook and twitter? I'm talking about personal blogs, like the ones practically every one of my friends had years ago. Here I am showing off my messy room and hamster genitals (unintentionally zomg, pointed out by a friend. I wonder if she's a furry to notice? lel but I digress.).

I just had my first exam today. It was BROUWAHAHAHAHArrible. I won't be having my next exam until next week and I didn't want the pictures to digitally rot away in their digital storage. So hear ye, hear ye! Here be a picture-filled post about Oddy's Quest, which I am proud to say, my brother took part in as well, a tale of young lad on a journey to find the cure of social awkwardness!

Well, booooy, I sure hope you guys aren't here for my hotz picture-taking skillz bcoz they're hahaharible t00 kthxbai. My camera's crappy most of the time and I didn't want to get too close to the stage, so there. Please accept this excuse... THANK YOU! ;__;

Okay, I was actually supposed to, planning to TRY TO sound poignant and all that for this part of the post but that feels like an awkward transition.

Donation boxes were placed at the entrances.

It starts with a dollar :)

Brief intermission: Pretty sunset!

The appetizer. I love, love, love bread and butter. It's the one thing I look forward to every time I go eat in a fancy restaurant or airplanes, but I'm too lazy to actually have it at home.

The show is starting! ~~Uncle Malai~~ President of SMARTER Brunei, Malai Hj Abdullah gives the opening speech

L-R: Mikhail, Kaka Noni, Unchu! Thank yooou for coming ♥

L-R: Bu Iti, Pa' Teh, Adam (the kid suited up for the show!) Thank yoouu for coming! ♥

Uncle Susis, Auntie Yun and Co.! Thank yoouuu for coming! ♥

Awesome huge screens are awesome. And huge.

Teacher Arlene, modeling for the latest, hottest and trendiest accessory the world has ever seen, ZE WALKIE TALKIE!

Waiting for their cue. I see Ridwan--!! (my bad. Thanks, Didi! :P)

*peek* OH! HUMANS!

*peek* OH! A CAMERA!

AND THEY ARE OUUUUTTT!

Once upon a time, there was a place. The place was called SMARTERLAND, where children were very smart and very disciplined. They would go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time. They will wash their face together, brush their teeth together, comb their hair together and go to school together. All of them, together, but one boy named Oddy.

He was the odd one out and he did not go to school. He began to question himself when his fairy god mother appeared with twinkling music in the background. He said, "I want to be normal!"

"Smile," sang the fairy god mother, "smile, even if it is hard. Go find the old wise one, for she will grant your wish." Giving him her magic umbrella as a protection, he sets on a harsh journey of life.

This is where really awesome music played by Ehsan/Ihsan/Ishan (flute - I'm sorry, I couldn't catch his name! D:) and Hafiz (acoustic guitar). I WANT that song. Maybe they should make a soundtrack of the musical, especially for the original songs and maybe even include Feez Madea's songs. (I really like Fantasi.) MOAR MOOLAHS FOR THE ORG!

And so he walks on. He encountered a thunderstorm with dramatic music drumming it up. After being antagonized, he opened his umbrella, summoning a group of guardian angels who shield him from the storm.

Meanwhile, back in his homeland, people were worried, wondering where he went. They broadcasted a telethon as an effort to look for him. The first segment featured Feez Madea, singing her song 'Fantasi' (lovely song, might I add).

Oddy continued walking on, ending up in a forest. He came during the time when the bear cubs come out to play and have a picnic. They played around and ate all they could. When they heard a sneeze coming from behind a tree, they scampered away. Oddy was puzzled. He was about to come out when more strange creatures appeared! This time, ants!

The ants were working, carrying corns twice, thrice their sizes with them! The ants go marching one by one, HURRAH, HURRAH! The ants go marching one by one, HURRAH, HURRAH! The ants go marching one by one, the little stops to suck his thumb, and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

And by the end the ants were marching ten by ten, HURRAH, HURRAH! The ants go marching ten by then, HURRAH, HURRAH! The ants go marching ten by ten, the little one stops to say, "THE END!" and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

Oddy, feeling hungry, was about to snatch one of the corns before and even more peculiar sight than before appeared before his very eyes! This time they were, oh no, they were most definitely... DANCING TREES!

Hey loook, it's Udin! ♥

He asked the queen where the Old Wise One was. She told him that the Old Wise One is one the other end on the forest. However, she will show him the way...the way TO DANCE! They continued dancing off the stage (and turns out some of the audience joined them, including Nisa XD)

(okay tbh I couldn't remember this part well, too busy trying to get Abang's pictures, lol)

A second intermission for the Oddy telethon, this time featuring SMARTERLAND's own singing sensation, Aidil!

Might sound crazy;
But it ain't a lie;
Bye, bye, bye!

A long, long, colourful caterpillar came about, sliding its way through the ground. It surrounded Oddy and claimed to be the Old Wise One. "Hello Oddy, I have been expecting you."

"But how can you be the Old Wise One?" Oddy exclaimed. "You're green, old and you have a huge wart on your face!"

"Ah, but this is how you see me now," the Old Wise One replied with a knowing look.

"Dear Old Wise One, I want to be normal. Please give me the cure!"

"My dear Oddy, there is no such thing." She shook her head. "Let me show you someone who used to be like you." She clapped her hands, and Feez Madea appeared.

She greeted Oddy. "Hello, Oddy. I used to be an awkward child like you when I was younger."

"But, but you're so beautiful!"

"Let me sing you a song."

Fly high,
And close your eyes
Let it lift you up up up

Fly hiiiigh~

And the credits roll.

When I see your face,

There's not a thing that I would change

Because you're amazing,

Just the way you are,

The way you aaaare~

OKAY GUYS. POST-EVENT PICTUUUURES.

Udin looks like he's sort of posing along, lol.

Uncle Malai's speech interrupted by their very own aspiring Bilal! :D

Nisa... cosplaying the Umbrella Guardian Angels?

Taking pictures with Uncle Susis!

I didn't actually plan on taking any pictures of myself.

Until I found this little beauty lying around.

Bibbidy-bobbidy-BOO!

Pseudo-Fairy God Mother endorses recyclable bags!

Even others wanted to take pictures with it!

And that is the end of my rather inaccurate recap of the night. I didn't even plan for it to be that way actually, but I just wanted to see how much I could actually remember of the play.

All in all, it was a great night for all of us and I want to thank everyone who was involved, the director, the volunteers, the STARS for making that night a reality. It sounded far-fetched to me when my father first told me about it, mainly concerning the kids who were going to star in it. In the end, I realise, just like their actual training in SMARTER, they can do anything with all the combined efforts of the therapists they put in. They did it.

They did it, and I want to see more.

Where the hell was I?

2011-04-28T19:01:00.000+08:00

I feel like crying.

Probably because Semua Tentang Kita by Peterpan is playing right. The music is just so... YOU KNOW. ;__;

Seriously though, I feel so down now, or something. Probably pre-exam blues. Have I mentioned that my exams are coming up, NEXT WEEK? Also, one last assignment due in two days, which I have yet to start because. Because.

Because.

BE.

CAUSE.

Sigh.

I am really not up for anything right now. I just want to shut my door, lock it and just stay. In. My. Room. Fullstops for emphasis, bitch! Alone.

I've been reading YanMega again (OI?! WHAT ABOUT STUDYING?!) and it's really starting to get good again. One thing that really caught my attention was the page from the scanlation recruiting new raw cleaners! I am reeaaallllyy interested. I've always wanted to join a scanlation group and see behind the scenes. If they still need people by the time my exams are over, I know what I'll be doing for the next three months! }:3

Ugh.

I still feel down. When, when, wheeen is it going to end? I am NOT motivated to do any work at all right now. I wonder how the others are pushing themselves. Sometimes I feel like I missed a class in school or something on motivation and actually feeling eager about pursuing a degree. Most of them are capable. Where the hell was I?

My room is a mess.

2011-04-21T18:40:00.005+08:00

Hey guys. Lets skip the "I'm sorry I forgot about you" business and get straight to the point.

The following is a series of photos of my room, taken just now. As you can see...

MY.

ROOM.

IS.

FREAKIN'.

MESS.

*breathes*

Papers lying everywhere, piles of books and files, CDs and DVDs hiding under all those invisible layers of dust.

Speaking of dust, that may or may not be the probable cause for my on-and-off bouts of sneezies. Look at that, sneezies. I'm training to make the painful, forced, unstoppable expulsion of mucus from our nasal orifices cute. I swear ye not, 'tis not cute when your face is all crumpled up with a nose that makes Rudolf the Reindeer runs for its money. Tissue makers rejoice when profits rocketed beyond expectation as the shelves empty themselves of the "facial wipes - nothing is softer" tagged boxes.

When I sneeze, I cannot, for the life of me, let out a small "a-ti-shoo." that some people, ladies mostly, are able to. It just looks more painful in a way. I let out a powerful "A-CHOOO-OOUUUUU-hah" because that's more relieving, definitely. This makes it difficult (HAHAHA I had to spell-check 'difi- difficc- dificult? difficult') --- I lost my train of thought.

Just came back from dinner, that's why. My sister is yelling right now. Damn those hormones. I remember when I was being controlled by them too. Trust me, it wasn't pretty, just read my first blog entries. Now I am a mature, rational adult --- OMG I AM A FUCKING ADULT, FUCK.

I don't want to go into that right now. I shall address that in another post that may come between tomorrow and the next three years, tops.

My first free day--

2010-08-06T20:05:00.004+08:00

My first free day in weeks, and I decided to go to the tamu. There were already a lot of people shopping for goods. I bought mangosteens. Like, 3KG of them. I love them so much, and yet I rarely eat it. It's one of those fruits that I don't think I can ever get tired of.

That was all what's left of it at night. We bought like, five times that amount. I'm not the only one, but I think I ate the most. Heh.
My parents also bought a male hamster for my brother. We already bought two female hamsters last two weeks from the same place. Now, I'm worried about their future. Who the hell is going to take care of the baby hamsters if they get along, and who's gonna handle the dead if they don't? D:

I decided to name him Lucky after my 3-year-old nephew's suggestion. Lucky, mainly because he's already got two ladies at his disposal, Poo and Paw. Poo is named so because, well, she's the lazier between the two who sleeps and poos all day long. Paw is the more active one and likes to run on the wheel a lot. She also grooms herself with her paws a lot too, so yeah.

So now we have three hamsters. Will the numbers increase or decrease in the next few weeks?! STAY TUNE, FOLKS!

MS Carnival; mainly reptiles ♥

2010-07-18T19:13:00.004+08:00

MS CARNIVAL TODAY!

...But I didn't stay long, so there's not much to say. Highlight of the day, REPTILE HOUSE!

Once we entered, my little brother screamed like a little girl, because it turns out that most of the snakes were out, and there was a freakin' huge python lying in the middle of the floor. Free. No restraints.

You see, I'm not a screamer. I'm a gasp-and-freeze kind of person, and that was what I did for about two seconds. Then, I got excited. After that, I don't know how it happened, but I have a snake around my neck. I was just looking at the snake and the guy just suddenly put it around my neck! Curses flew by, but then I kinda like it!

See, it matched my shirt too!

And then he suddenly put another one! HORRY SHITTO MAMA MIA!

Majin with Snakes feat. Cowering Froggy in the back :D

Then I went to the lizards. They said it's a bearded dragon, but I'm not sure, I think they were just guessing. The caretakers weren't anywhere near, haha.

This is the grown-up lizard. I LOVE this one. I had it on me for most of the time. I surprised a few people as well, lol. People were starting to think I was the owner because they started asking questions that I have no idea about it. Really though, it was sooooo cute. I felt slightly sad when I had to let it go ;___;

How do you get one of these? I am seriously considering!

SMARTER Sibling Support Group + Camping Trip!

2010-07-11T20:57:00.004+08:00

Sorry, I've been busy/lazy/buzy/lasy.

Just a short update because currently I have SO much to rant about, I'd rather not talk about any of it.

Last Friday, SMARTER organised a Sibling Support Workshop for us. I have to admit, the sharing session was quite emotional. Each of us had to share something about our autistic brother/sister. Whoever didn't shed a tear is heartless, heartless I tell you! I realised how we all experienced the same thing with them; criticism from the public, friends' ignorance, parents' high expectations, our own future, etc.

Not all of us were close to our siblings, and it made more difficult for them to share, but it was understandable. Our siblings are the ones who choose who they want to be close with, and I can say that yes, I am close with him, and I'm thankful for that.

The next day, it was camping time! It was my first time going camping, but we got a cabin, with fans, lights, and electrical outlets. So it's not really a camping trip. So what. Still, at night it was REALLY dark though, since there were no lights at all besides on the mini stage. My sisters along with others did a very beautiful hand-mime performance, which I saw the rehearsal of the day before, and I made up my mind to record it, and so I did!

Please watch it. :D I have to fix it up; re-adding the song, enhancing the colours, and adding subtitles just for the heck of it, or else a lot of background noise had actually entered it and the colours weren't really the best.

So here you go!

& it's heeeere!

2010-06-26T15:36:00.001+08:00

Just a short post about my otherwise unexciting life!

My other ayupan and CD are finally here~

The previous post isn't updated yet because I have yet to get the pictures from my sister. /sigh

I'm really sad now, I think I've spent too much money on ayupans, I'm still waiting for some of them to come. And yet... I WANT MOAR. DD:

I just finished reading Fullmetal Alchemist, and somehow, I ended up browsing their merchandise, and I really, REALLY want these two especially!

http://www.hlj.com/product/BNP46185-A
http://www.hlj.com/product/BNP46185-B

AND THIS:
http://www.hlj.com/product/ENX31282

The last one is kind of risky though, it's a trading arts package, basically, you will get six random figurines, chances of getting them all in one box is unlikely, heck, I might even get doubles, but but but...there's Scar D: AND King Bradley/Wrath! LOL, it's weird to fangirl over them but damn, both of them are the definition of badass, and I don't care that King Bradley is 60 years old! He has my respect XD

Sunday 20/06/2010 pt.1

2010-06-21T19:24:00.003+08:00

Sorry, I slacked off again, I have no excuses for you.

Last Sunday was a full schedule for me! Morning to afternoon there was the Cycle for SMARTER event, and we had a Father's Day + Babah's birthday dinner! Okaaaay, it doesn't sound that hectic, haha. I probably feel that way because when I looked in the picture folder, there were too many to choose from for this post! :O

I took my sister's role in photographing since she joined the challenge, so beware, PICTURE OVERLOAD! Photog noob heer. Most taken by me, some by my sis! So, I'll let the pictures do the talking after this!

I would like to thank all the participants for supporting SMARTER. I love you guys, really. For SMARTER's future, for my brother's future!

It's here!

2010-06-12T15:48:00.005+08:00

My first Ayupan is here! :) I almost forgot about it actually, haha, if it wasn't because the seller emailed me wondering whether I have received it yet.

Now, it shall reside with both my Rock'n'Roll Circus albums and poster.

Note: For picture purposes only! LOOK A FLOATING BUTT!

Yes, I have two copies of of RnRC. The one on the left is a Japanese press CD-only version, and the right one is the Taiwan press of CD+DVD. The ~~stupid~~ reason I bought two of them was because I wanted the first press poster from the Japan version, and I wanted the to buy the DVD from Taiwan version so that it can be played on the huge screen, haha.

That's the only time this will happen. I usually buy OS presses for the albums, you know. They are MUCH cheaper.

Somehow, I feel like this is a great time to show off my latest collection (which hasn't changed much since last time, lol)

Original studio albums

Mini-album (I would've just put this up there if only it didn't ruin the... symmetry, haha)

Singles! Only collecting from the latest ones, the few old ones were from a very good deal! =P She has 48 singles and I have no intention of collecting all.

Mini photobooks from her first press albums

Compilation albums (Only missing A BALLADS :( )

Remix albums, I love her eurobeat and trance remixes *__*

Live DVDs, have yet to buy more

This is my favourite corner in the room. My laptop is there, and that is where I spend 60% of my time. The other 40% is spent in bed.

If you squint your eyes hard enough, on the far left, you could see my Aundrey Hepburn calendar, looks tiny from here, but that's just because it's on the wall behind it.

I never noticed.

2010-06-11T18:54:00.003+08:00

Today, I had to go to work. They had a recording in the afternoon and wanted me to come. This is what they said:

"Ari jumat, kami ada rekoding. Mun ko mau datang, datang ah. Inda pulang kami paksa. Jan tah susah ati. Tapi bisai jua datang kan, dapat jua tau-tau sikit."

I was in a dilemma. I didn't know what to do, because it sounded like I didn't have to come, but at the same time I must come. I consulted my dad. He said to take up the last thing they said, and that was it.

So, I came.

It was a recording of Review, where you can (quoting directly) "discuss and analyse current affairs locally, regionally and internationally". I wasn't really doing much, of course. Just... 'observing'. Today's topics were about the Gaza blockade and the cabinet reshuffling. Not going to go into detail, but the Gaza thing is depressing me. :/ I wonder if they're ever going to talk about the oil spill. That would definitely be an interesting topic to debate about.

That's that. :X

On a more light-hearted note, this is Yan Yan.

I don't usually eat Yan Yan. I like it, but it's not what I look for when I go to the kedai runcit. I tend to steal from my sister instead. Today, my aunt bought a pack of 12 of them for $6 (freakin' cheap!) from her colleague and offered us a few. So, while munching away, I saw words on the stick.

"omg wooooow dis so coooool!" screamed my inner child.

This was the first time I read the front package.

So, after I finished one, I opened another one, determined to take pictures of each on and every one of them.

But of course, I got bored (and full) halfway so I stopped.

Haha.

That, ladies and gentlemen, are today's findings!

LOOK MA! NO UPPER LIP!

You can't call it irresponsible
To choose only what you like
Without even finding what you like
How can you take responsibility?

--- SURREAL, ayumi hamasaki.

For the first time,

2010-06-10T20:21:00.002+08:00

Today, I handled a sound mixer.

Attachment at the TV section is much more fun than the radio so far. The Sound lady (I dunno, they are called "urang saun" anyway) Sound Engineer, I guess, suggested I try it out myself. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal, but I was really nervous, lol.

It was just Rampai Pagi, but horry shitto, it is a live broadcast, and I really didn't want to screw anything up. Of course, the nice auntie was by my side the whole time. Still though, they talk a lot. I'm not sure when to pay attention to their chatter or the instructions from the producer. Eyes on the television, hands on the mixer, ears on the... producer's words. This job requires complete body syncronisation, haha.

Things wrapped up at 10 'o clock, and I was supposed to go to Studio 3 for Fokus Sukan program, but turns out it was cancelled, or something, so I got to go home early.

Had lunch at Grandpa's with the awesomest Fish Curry ever, from KJ Restaurant. Seriously, I love their fish curry, I'd choose this over any dishes, and that includes chicken, no kidding.

I was free the rest of the afternoon, so what did I do? I felt like cleaning my room :D

NO SHIZ MAJ SRSLY?

JYES.

Of course, since we're talking about me here, I stopped halfway and stared at the computer for the rest of the time.

This was what I did for 10 minutes straight.

Then I looked to my left, and felt partially content.

I finally stuck up my RnRC poster. Seen as well, BLEACH mini poster, Fatin's gift drawing, Pokka Iced Lemon Tea, Cottage Fries and my wallet.

My table is really clear because the things are still on the floor. I really couldn't be bothered to arrange them right now.

*STAAAAAAAAAAAAARRREEE*

Yes, we live on
Putting our foot down on this blue earth
Even if all the sorrow continuing to spread in this world
May not be healed

Firmly holding love in our hands
That still remains in this world

---- Last Links, Ayumi Hamasaki

Accept the fact that...

2010-06-01T19:59:00.002+08:00

I am allergic to cats. *weep* I love my cats.

From Wikipedia:

Symptoms of allergy include:

red, itchy, watery eyes
nasal congestion
itchy nose
sneezing
difficulty breathing
swelling of the hands and feet
itchy throat
coughing
wheezing
itchy skin

The highlighted ones being the ones I am affected with.

I AM SAD. DD:

Thing is, when I play with my cats outside, I am perfectly fine, but when I bring them into my room, not less than five minutes and I am already suffering like hell. I noticed this months ago but I just ignored it. After some time, I forgot about it because I have been too busy to play, until today, when I was bored. So I thought, what the heck, lets bring Rocky in.

AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

*sigh*

Cliff Richard's Wedding

2010-05-28T17:49:00.005+08:00

Cliff Richard bin Ukoi, that is.

Little backstory here: His older step-brother was a big fan of Cliff Richard, an English singer, actor and businessman. And ta-daaa, it becomes the little brother's name.

They'll never know the difference.

Honestly though, I was never close to this side of the family, so I only knew his real name when the imam announced it, haha. We kept referring to him as "Uncle Jul", and who knows where that came from. My mum is a Dusun(ese?), and I'm not sure if it's part of their culture, but they tend to give and use nicknames instead of their real names.

My mum, for example, was named Samara. Her family and friends would refer to her as Sara. All this time, I just assumed it was a (weird) shortened form of Samara, until one day, when she told us of the origin of that nickname. She was born in December 1962. Remember the 1962 Rebellion? Yeah. Her parents were hiding away in the forests, and that was where my mum was born. It was a time of misery for them. Misery in Malay is Sengsara. That is, people, how she was called Sara. My mum said she was going to be named Sengsara for real, but apparently people back then were really bad at spelling, so lucky my mummy!

Since my mum converted, she changed her name as well. Of course, her family continued calling her Sara. Anyway, my mum no realised what a unique name she had and wish she had kept it instead. I love that name too, and if I ever have kids one day, I WANT that name! Haha.

I was supposed to talk about the Nikah right? Lol. Well, I felt like this was more interesting anyway.

Forgotten;--- NOT. :)

2010-05-26T20:35:00.002+08:00

Hey, hey!

So, forgetful Majin huh? Haven't changed in the past four years since I first started this blog, have I? I did not exactly forgot about this blog, more like, I've been lazy. Everyone has that period, right? Some has more than others, like me. Haha :)

So what the hell is up with life? Nothing much. See, if I continue to update my blog, most of the posts will look like this. Nevertheless, I'll try again!

I've started my attachment at RTB earlier this month, to gain experience on the course I'm about to take, or so I say. That, and also I really, REALLY wanted to quit working at my aunt's office. I was SO sick of lists. Like seriously, that's all I ever type, be it quotations, invoices, etc. So sick I was of it, up to the point of waking up every morning for work with a -bad- word. Not the most motivational, but hey :/

"So, how's your attachment?" MY GOD, I hate this question, mainly because I really don't know how to answer it, and I always stutter and hesitate when answering. What I actually do during the attachment, is sit and stare. No, seriously. I sort of did more than that, like I would follow them around from one studio to another, but I mainly just stand around like a tool. I feel bad for not knowing how to help them, but I'm sure that they understand that I have no experience in it whatsoever right?

I still have two more months to go.

It's taking suuuuuuuch a long time.

*whine*

I'm sick of life.

Bleh. What? I'm already sick of this adult life that I'm supposedly moving towards to. I miss having no responsibilites, besides the usual homework and whaddasheet, if you consider those homeworks, more like burdens actually.

I'm blabbing. Haha. I want money. I want to buy some Ayu stuff.

The spoon reminded me of a fork.

2010-04-01T08:33:00.004+08:00

I suck at maintaining my blog, haha. It's going to end up as a place I show off my stuff on. There really is not much to talk about anymore. Life has been pretty...mundane. Lets see, one of the most exciting news of my life is...Yankee-kun to Megane-chan LIVE ACTION!

Starring: Narimiya Hiroki, Naka Riisa.

So, okay. Narimiya Hiroki ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I love him. I really do. *Sigh* He is one of the few J-actors I have a long term fangirl crush on, and this does not happen often!

As you may have noticed, YKtMC is the manga that I have featured in my blog banner. I sure hope the live action will live up to the manga. Sure, there's Narimiya, but he better make a good Shinagawa, or else!

On the other end of my fan girl spectrum, the Ayu items I ordered have finally arrived! *SQUEAL*

Endless sorrow (2001) and You were.../BALLAD (first press) + B3 Poster (2009)! Endless sorrow is one of my all-time favourite songs by her, and when I found someone selling it for only USD1 (!!!!!!!) why would I let that opportunity go! You were.../BALLAD also from the same seller, first press and all, man. This one cost USD10, but when you calculate the shipping and whatnot, it is seriously cheaper than what could've been. Total amount I spent of these, USD21.

I was desperate to get the first press edition, because it featured an alternative cover card (bottom right) and it's just so beautiful! Heck, I was even willing to pay USD40 when I saw it at CDJ, but I didn't follow through, my hope is crushed, and I will never get it. Now I DOO!

Also, I just got my Secret poster from Riku! It's gorgeous, and HUGE! Compare it with the size of the CDs. Yes, I have two You were.../BALLAD posters, oh God, what am I gonna do with them. DD:

Updated collection! Singles, albums, remix/compilations & lives!

Time for a change

2010-03-12T11:24:00.006+08:00

New blog banner~ This time, featuring Adachi Hana and Shinagawa Daichi from Yankee-kun to Megane-chan, as well as the two Rotti bunnies from Solanin!

I'd squeeze Ayu in there somewhere, but nothing suits it that much, hahaha.

The freedom we have
The choices we make
The sacrifice we pay
Make life so complicated

Our eyes to judge
Our hands to hang on
Our feet to step forward
To whom do we entrust them?

The flooding products
The confused information
Which on earth is the truth
And which is false?

Yes, we are free
But are too free
We can go everywhere
And can go nowhere

REDLINE

2010-03-09T10:53:00.010+08:00

So. Ayumi's new album is out, Rock'n'Roll Circus is the name. Most initial reactions were "EWW sounds like Britney's :((((" I wasn't one of them mainly because I had no idea what's it got to do with Britney, only after that did I find out that Britney Spears actually had an album and tour last year by the title "Circus". I don't have much to say, everyone else has basically said it already.

Ayu is not the first, and will definitely not be the last in incorporating 'Circus' in her works. If anything, Ayu must have taken direct inspiration from Rolling Stone's album, named...yep, you guessed it, Rock'n'Roll Circus. Ayu has admitted to being a fan of theirs, and recent diary entries and whatnots has shown her going to London, doing photoshoots, recording songs and filming PVs. Obviously, this album will be more London-influenced than say...Britney.

Anyway, I still haven't decided whether to buy it or not, haha. I still have other things I want to get. For example, these two Solanin plush dolls *__*

Or this Punpun Plush doll:

Note to self, never Google things you want unless you are ready for disappointment. Why? Because most of them will remain inaccessible to YOU. *WEEP*

On the bright side, (OH SO BRIGHT SIDE) at least I am somewhat accessible to Ayu. I finally received my somethin' somethin' yesterday.

Hmm, I wonder what that could be.

JJ-JAAAAANG!

Ayumi Hamasaki's You were.../BALLAD poster, thank you Ms. Robina! This poster actually came as a first press bonus for the single, and there's actually a 'Not For Sale' label at the bottom, haha. I missed out on the first press, which is why I decided to buy it anyway. As I've mentioned before, I love this cover, and I must have at least something to celebrate my love for it. XD Complications may arise soon, but I will only mention it some other time, when that something else is confirmed. I think I'm going to frame it, in the mean time, it will stay in the tube.

Then, when it's framed, it will most definitely join this lovely drawing here, by none other than Fatin Nuramalina!

Can't believe I haven't mentioned this awesomeness. So, here ye go, bask in the glory!

And with that, I would like to end this blog post with yet another quote from Ayu:

If you have a feeling of despair, please remember
"This day called today on which you are going to give up,
Is the tomorrow on which somewhere, someone didn't want to give up."

If you run into a wall, please remember
"This day called today on which you are going to lose,
Is the tomorrow on which somewhere, someone wanted to fight."

Who framed Rog-------!?!??!!!

2010-03-02T01:14:00.002+08:00

Can't sleep. *WHEEEZE* And now I keep on refreshing Facebook and AHS in the hope of having something to do. Also, I've been reading my old blog posts. Majority was made up of Kendo. Sigh. I've been reminiscing with Riku about it. SIIIIIIIGHHHHH

I've been doing that a lot nowadays. Sighing about basically everything. All these application shit is just draining me. UCAS HECAS UCAS HECAS UCAS HECAS

I've submitted my HECAS though, which by the way, has anyone else realised how ridiculous it is? It's an ONLINE application system, yet, we have to print it out and submit it by hand to their office? How the hell does that make it any easier?! Online applications are supposed to make things more convenient and efficient for both sides. This is just the same as filling out a form and then piling them up by the hundreds only to be lost and misplaced.

That, and then there's my job. I don't like my job. I'm working for my aunt. What did I say about working with family? NEVER EVER. Of course, I like it when I get paid. Heh. For the sake of my own survival, I have to continue--------!!

What did you draw on your canvas today?

2010-02-26T22:06:00.004+08:00

Ayu had a wonderful message posted in her TA Diary today:

What did you all draw on your own canvas today?

If what you drew today is the best for you,
I hope you keep walking with the canvas in your arms tomorrow, too.

And, to the canvas, keep on adding new things
which you sensed on the new day called tomorrow.

If what you drew today didn't make you satisfied,
or if you couldn't draw anything today,
let's try again tomorrow. With me.

I have a pretty good reason to update my blog right now. :D

TA-DAAAAAAAAAA!

I have beeen begging my parents, asking friends, even desperate enough to suggest to their parents and family who do order online, so that I could order this book through Amazon.com. Alas, that never came through, and I almost gave up, until one day. My dad had an acquaintance of him coming over from Singapore, and surprisingly, he actually remembered what I wanted. So, Mr. Kelvin, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Solanin, What a Wonderful World vol 1 & 2. Unfortunately, these are the only Asano Inio works officially published in English. I wish Ooyasumi Punpun is published as well, that manga is epic.

I just have this thing, when I like something a lot, I want to keep a hard copy of it, and in this case, it was Solanin. It was kind of hard to explain to my parents why I love Solanin and how I knew so much about it when I haven't even bought the manga yet, and why I did tell them I actually downloaded it first, they just told me to keep it that way. Pssh. Who ya be talkin' ta? Tis is Maj, who, despite being broke almost all the time, has a thing for collecting her loves.

SOLANIN SOLANIN SOLANIN SOLANIN

I saw this Punpun plushie on cdjapan, but it's already out of stock. *weep* Then I saw a Punpun mug, but the shipping is ridiculous! *sigh*

On to more things I recently got;

A Song For xx
LOVEppears
Duty
M

All Japan version. Ayumi's first, second and third album, and her M single. I bought this all on a pretty good bargain from Froggy, at a total of $55! LUCKY. I'm not actually a big fan of any of these albums, but it's Ayu, okay. That, and I don't think I would be able to find these albums anywhere else with that cheap of a price! Seriously, A Song For xx and LOVEppears were released in 1999 and Duty was released in 2000. This is a decade ago, and lucky I am to even own this.

Of course, my collection is nothing compared to some others, who own all 10 albums, 47 singles, countless remix and compilation albums, as well as other merchandises from her. This is Ayu we're talking about. She's from Avex Trax. Nothing from Avex comes cheap, like seriously. Which is why I am content with even owning a few Japanese presses, most of my collection are just Overseas press, basically half the price of the Japanese press. A CD-Only JP press would cost BND40.00++, while an OS press, with almost the same quality in the print and sound, would only (only is an understatement, by the way) BND20.00+.

I cannot wait to pre-order Ayu's new album. Song previews from CMs, PV previews from Deji Deji Diary, everything is basically out, EXCEPT for the album name and release date. Seriously, I'm usually not the impatient type, but the hype is driving even someone like me NUTS.

S0 that is my bookshelves. Top row is reserved for my music collection, consisting Ayu, Koda Kumi (only one album), Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, OLIVIA, etc. Second row is basically for books I actually read/still read. Third row, lol. Treasury of Fairy Tales, Lemony Snicket, Enid Blyton, Alice's Adventure in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, The Little Prince, True Singaporean Ghost Stories are the ones that I still care about. XD The rest are mangas I decide to demote from the second row, and anything below that, I basically do not care.

There you go.

2009-12-06T20:38:00.002+08:00

I've been busy. So, so busy. The graduation stuff is really taking up a lot of my time, more than I thought it would. I guess that's what usually happens when you're in one of its busiest committee. I am under Editorial, but I originally signed up for Program Book because that really sounded like the simplest thing to do. In the end, it was combined with the Magazine committee and I ended up under Layout, sub-committee for Magazine, which also happens to be the busiest. I still feel so...*oooaaarrrggghhh*, wondering how I ended up there when I actually wanted to do as little work as possible. XD

Anyway, what I was planning to post before I ended up ranting about that was about my trip to Singapore. My dad, my sister and I flew off just a few days after my exams. Actually, since two weeks have already passed, I don't really remember much. We were staying at Lion City Hotel for three nights, and contrary to what the online reviews said, Lion City Hotel is actually a good place to stay in. It was quite cheap too, $100++ per night, although that probably has something to do with the relative we have working there. Haha.

Yes, we have relatives in Singapore, it's actually a pretty confusing story. Lets see. My great-grandfather was studying in Johor at that time, and married a Malaysian woman. They then have two daughters. One of the daughters married a Malaysian. When my great-grandfather's (I'm just going to refer to him as GG after this. Waddup Double G?!) wife passed away, he went back to Brunei, bringing his other daughter with him. There, he re-married to a Bruneian woman, and had my grandfather as a result. The other daughter married a Singaporean and migrated there. The end. I have no idea. I forgot half the story. It was sort of our bedtime story for the three nights. So yeah, I have Malaysian and Singaporean relatives. I have a HUGE age gap with my cousins over there, most were over 40 years old.

My feet were so effin' sore. We walked alot. We spent the first day in Orchard Road. Our hotel was actually quite far away. It was a $10 ride using the taxi, and that was during off-peak time. The second day, we actually WALKED A LOT. From Geylang to City Hall we used an MRT, and after that... I have no idea how much we walked. And thanks to that, my feet become sore almost quickly for the third and fourth day.

My favourite spot was HMV. So many Ayuuuuuuuuuuu. Sorry, this is coming from someone who's not used to seeing original DVDs. It's THAT bad.

A BEST 2 -Black-, Premium Countdown Live 2008-2009, A BEST 2 -WHITE-
My dad was asking, aren't these two the same? Um no, the content isn't. Sorry for the fugly Ayus. That's just the beginning.

Secret, my favourite cover and favourite album, and Sunset/Sunrise, latest single as of now and fugly cover. COMPARE. That's pretty much the end of Ayu stuff I bought.

Do As Infinity *something Live*, OLIVIA's The Cloudy Dreamer. It was JP version, therefore fudgin' expensive. $53, and that was CD-only.

Panic! At the Disco's A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (their only album I like), Three Days' Grace's Three Days Grace (lol), Linkin Park's Meteora (I finally completed my Linkin Park album collection XD), Gothic Acoustic Tribute to Linkin Park (eh, wasn't really my type, but I was curious D:), Bowling For Soup goes to the Movies, Breaking Benjamin's Dear Agony (latest yaw)

I couldn't find SOLANIN!!!!11!!111! I am sad. But hey, there's still Asano Inio. I bought Subarashii Sekai vol 1 and vol 2, and Emma vol 8. It was the only Emma I could find. Unfortunately, the main Emma manga, I could not find.

ZigZag vol 07, 08, 09, finally complete. Brunei is still stuck on vol 4, and I didn't want to read it online. I actually planned on not buying it because I stopped reading a few months ago, but good thing I did, because when I started reading again, I remember why I loved it!

TSGS vol 19, Brunei doesn't have this one yet. It's the latest. This particular volume made me tear up alot, when vol 18 actually had some hilarious stories in it. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, haha, I'm obsessed. Shut it, it's not only for kids. XD Speed Grapher vol 3, just because. No, don't look at the boobies!!!

So there. I don't know how much I spent, but I spent a lot. Of course I bought some clothes and shoes too, but who cares about that, ammirite.

Mainly Solanin♥

2009-11-21T19:01:00.005+08:00

First things first. One, I have a new banner, as you can see. Yes, I am THAT in love with Ayu's new cover that I decided to use it in the banner. I also have an alternate banner:-

^ This image, I shall talk about later! ♥

Today is my brother's 9th birthday. We were planning to have the usual school party for him, but as it turns out, it was field trip day for them. They're going to the museums, and that's when my dad decided to hold the party at the KFC in Yayasan.

I actually had school too, I needed to return the books, but they wanted me to come as well, so after rushing with everything, I finally made it. Dammit, I hate rush modes. XD

This was the best picture I could get of him 0___0 He moves a heck lot.

I love this shot. They actually wanted the group photo to be in front of the fountain, until my dad decided that on the stairs would be better!

And, that's that.

Now, onto Solanin.

What's that? You never heard of Solanin? Well, that's probably because at just one look of the cover, you probably don't see any big-eyed, big-booby lady or pretty, girly-looking boy, or someone with some armor or cool weapon with them. Maybe it's because it's not your typical shoujo manga with weak, some 'ordinary' girl easily falling in love with hot but cold guy, or maybe it's because it's not filled with supernatural weirdness, where someone for whatever reason is more special than those around him, the chosen one---

I could go on forever. This actually frustrates me because it's so hard to find original manga anymore, even in vast sites like mangafox or mangatraders. Don't get me wrong, I used to be a huge fan of shoujo mangas, although not the aforementioned type. Of course, this is not the first time I've read this sort of manga. Before this, there was Nana, Paradise Kiss, Cat Street (I LOVE CAT STREET), etc. I was in one of 'those moods' when I was looking for some Slice of Life genres. Thanks to me wasting my time (in between exams, for that matter) browsing the whole site of mangatrader for something worthwhile, I stumbled upon this jewel.

College graduates struggle to cope with the real world. Music offers refuge in this modern manga with an American attitude.
Meiko Inoue is a recent college grad working as an office lady in a job she hates. Her boyfriend Shigeo is permanently crashing at her apartment because his job as a freelance illustrator doesn't pay enough for rent. And her parents in the country keep sending her boxes of veggies that just rot in her fridge. Straddling the line between her years as a student and the rest of her life, Meiko struggles with the feeling that she's just not cut out to be a part of the real world.

Quoted from Amazon.com. Why was I on Amazon? Because I was wondering if there were any English language versions of this manga. Why was I wondering? Because I'm hoping that I could own a physical copy of this manga. That's how much I love it. Not a big deal to you?

You see, I am a fan of downloads. Not really a fan, but obviously that's the best way to get my entertainment due to the lack of it here in real life. But, I would sometimes go over the boundary, which has happened with Ayumi since last year. So far, I think I've spent $200+ on her, and I intend to spend more. It's just worth it, I felt, and that's exactly what I'm hoping for with this manga.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to buy a copy of this when I go to Singapore, if I can't find it, I will beg with blood and tears with my dad to let me order it on Amazon. Uhm, I disgress.

Admittedly, when I found this manga, the initial genres in the filter were 'romance' and 'slice of life'. Figuring that wasn't enough, and from a past experience that brought me Emma: Victorian Romance (also another manga I looove), I included 'Seinen' in it too. For some reason, the Shonen and Seinen genre, f0r being targeted for the male audience, young and mature respectively, though not strictly, they appear to be more realistic, less mooshiness. The romance, heck, the usual life activities are much more life-like than the Josei and Shoujo.

Anyway, back to Solanin, I don't know how to express my love for it. I love it. I love it a lot. The five characters have just graduated from college, and each one of them with their own issues. The romance in this story wasn't the main thing. This was a couple who's been dating for six years, and lived together for a year. They are way past the honeymoon stage. There was no more need for sweet promises and whatnot. They were beyond that, yet there were still some sweet moments, even without the need to express mooshiness. No love triangle, no intervening of a third party, no more of those usual high school drama. It was a refreshing change for me.

After each chapter, if I wasn't holding back tears, I would contemplate with my own life, especially since I will be graduating soon as well. That fear of entering the adult life, discouragements and demotivations, hopes and expectations, how am I going to face all that?

Sure, the art style isn't your typical kawaii-girl, ikemen-boy type. That's another part of its uniqueness. It doesn't need over-sized eyes (or goddamned boobies) to attract its readers. A simple synopsis was all it needed to make me read it. Art style plays a big deal in my choice of manga, and although this isn't what I would normally be looking for, it's still good. I love the art style. As you can see, I'm loving everything about this manga.

I've read excerpts of Inio Asano's other manga. They were really good too, more slice of life, more, you know, life life. Subarashii Sekai, I want you. Inio Asano, you are the man.

One thing that made me really excited about Solanin is that it's going to have a live-action film in 2010.

Usually, I'm skeptical about these live-actions, but one thing changed my mind. The actress protraying Inoue Meiko is none other thaaaaan...Miyazaki Aoi!!!!!11!!1

Miyazaki Aoi, Miyazaki Aoi, Miyazaki Aoi. I love Miyazaki Aoi, therefore:-

Miyazaki Aoi + Solanin= ULTIMATE WIN

I have no idea who the rest of the cast members are, but I trust Miyazaki Aoi. She's starred in several independent films, which I love as well, and of course mainstream movies too and I'm sure this one is going to be a breeze. She had also portrayed Tensho'in Atsu-hime in the drama Atsu-hime, the wife of the 13th Tokugawa Shogun, Tokugawa Iesada. (Yes, I actually remember all those facts because I loved the taiga drama). In that one series, you could see how she progressed from being a care-free lower branch Samurai family's daughter to basically the highest-ranked lady of the Samurai at that point of time.

Seriously, Miyazaki Aoi has portrayed a vast range of characters. When I heard the news (I was searching for Solanin on Facebook for fun, and found its fanclub XD) I literally squealed in excitement. I don't usually do that, okay, but I did then. Agh, don't ask me why I love her so much, at this stage, I don't even know why anymore, I just know that I do. :D

Okay, I think it's way too long already. Sorry. :/

Dreams come true?

2009-11-20T20:04:00.003+08:00

Am I supposed to be glad that my exams are over now?

Actually, for some reason, I already felt liberated a few days ago, even though I know I have one more exam. That might explain why I can't concentrate on Econs since then.

After exams, I went straight to Empire for the Study in UK exhibition with my parents. I think that was when I started to feel depressed all over again. The course I want are all graphic-related. Unfortunately for me, I don't take Art for A levels, and most of the Unis require that. One even suggested I take 'Fashion Marketing' if I'm still interested to do the Arts course. The best reply I could give was a forced smile before I said "Thank you" and went away.

Then, we went to this Scholarships Department booth. My mum and the guy talked about scholarships, and it made me feel like the chances of me taking that course became thinner. After my mum told him my A Levels subjects, Physics, Maths and Econs, he immediately suggested me to take up Accounting, or Engineering or whatever. Apparently, my subjects are "very strong" and those courses would fit me well. I wanted to tear up in laughter at that point. My subjects may be strong, but that doesn't mean I'm not weak in them. I'm just not cut out to be in the subjects I took up, and I only realised this once I got into PU2.

Honestly, throughout the year, most of the time, in class, my thoughts are "what am I doing here?" Not to mention that scholarships require at least 240 tariff points and I'm not even anywhere near the confidence to even have a C in my A Levels. Sometimes, I wish I was as brave as those characters in the movies and make a difference for myself, but that's not how it works in the real life. Or maybe I'm just a coward. God knows what.

For now, I'm just going to have fun with Photoshop for as long as I can, because as of now, I feel like I'm on the right path to become one of those drones who, in 20 years time, might think about how she wished she made the right choice during that one period in her lifetime, which she could have, if not for the many restrictions in reality.

Dreams come true?

Only when you got the right qualifications to even be considered, baby.

Bullshit.

I have faith in you.

2009-11-19T08:40:00.013+08:00

I haven't really been following on Ayu this past few weeks. I still go to the forum, but mainly to the Fan Works section only. Anyway, while I was there again today, it turns out her new single's cover is out.

It it totally gorgeous, and way, way, and I mean waaaaay better than her recent pictures. I've been having low expectations on her covers lately, which is probably why I am actually really impressed with this one. My last favourite cover from her was Blue Bird, and that was a single from 3-4 years ago. After that, her singles covers were gradually getting worse. I'm not sure if it's the airbrushing, or the poses, her facial expression, maybe all of them.

It all started when Kazuyoshi Shimomura (some fans have lovingly dubbed him Kazuyoshit Shitmomura) shot her Mirrorcle World cover. No, actually he also shot her A BEST 2 covers before, but those were too horrible and I couldn't be bothered to actually save them and show them here.

Some actually like the cover, but I don't. I just don't. Not really much of a reason. ARMPIT POSE WOOHOO. First time I saw it, I was like, "Oh. Bleh." The cover was forgettable to me (the songs on it still rock though). I was hoping for a more rockin' cover, because the Mirrorcle WOrld the song is awesome rock. Sure, the B-side was a rock ballad, but seriously? Anyone who doesn't know how the song sounds like would just assume that it's a ballad single.

And then, eight months later, her new single, Days/GREEN is released. I was hoping for a good cover. Good here means that's it's nice for me to play around in Photoshop with, beautiful enough to display on my cupboard if I ever plan on buying it, and also also good so that I don't cringe in horror every time it pops up in my music player. It's a good thing that there were four versions, so at least one cover would be gorgeous. Here I am, showing you two of the covers, the worst two, as a matter of fact. The other two didn't fare that much better, but seriously. Days/GREEN cd-only (left) is the worst. Dead eyes, weird mouth, protruding forehead. The position of all her facial features look distorted. Instead of butterflies, she now has flowers in her hair. This is a winter single, so why use flowers? Doesn't that normally represent spring? I'm not expecting any stereotypical winter covers, but...eh. I just don't like the covers.

Next up, Rule/Sparkle in February 2009. Rule was used as the world-wide theme song for the live adaptation of Dragon Ball, called Dragon Ball Evolution (wtf). I never watched the movie, but I expected it to suck when Hollywood decided on the all-white cast, except for Master Yoshi, I think. I dunno, I dun care. Thank goodness the song is really powerful on its own. I lovelove Rule, but not so much the cover. When we saw the making of pictures, we thought it would be reminiscent of her 2003 Because of You PV, but we were far off. The hair is so messy, the facial expression tried too hard at "FIERCE". I like the colours though, when almost every one else doesn't. Ayu herself is a fan of Dragon Ball, and I guess she was trying to imitate Bulma's "sense of fashion". But the poses of the CD-only versions, ah mai gad.

You got the colours right, Ayu.

She announced her next album will be released just a month after Rule/Sparkle, NEXT LEVEL. I don't know why, but I was expecting a different cover, something unique, something new to correspond with its title. Ayumi Hamasaki, going up the next level sort of feel, you know. I guess, we sort of got the 'new and different'. Kids, I am here to warn you, be careful what you with for. You might end up with an unrecognisable woman with bushy hair, dishwasher gloves (which by the way, you can't see here, also have frickin' nails on them. I know you're the nail queen, Ayu, but seriously, sparkly nails on rubber gloves?!) and some sort of multi-coloured dress. Yeah. Weird. Not to mention the continuation of weird poses she did.

Oh, my back.

Sometimes, you gotta wonder, how many dead, innocent squirrels are probably stuck in her hair, strangled? None, actually, there's no reason for squirrels to be there. But imagine that hair-- Okay, stop.

By the time her next single was announced, there was no hope left for me. Sunrise/Sunset, two songs with similar arrangements, one a summer pop, the other one a summer ballad. Your typical Ayu summer cheer crowd song, and this time she also included her dancers' vocals for the chorus (including Shuya, teehee) So yeah, again, good songs, bad covers. Unfortunately, bad doesn't really describe it. Ayu totally hit rock bottom with this one. Introducing, Sunrise/Sunset cover, drum rolls please.

OH HAI, I AM AYUMI.

Noooo, really? LIES, YOU IMPOSTOR D:

AAAGGHHH, ZE HORROR. STOP GLARING AT ME AYUUUU

Lets repost the You Were.../BALLAD cover.

Ah, splendid.

Been a while, eh?

2009-10-16T15:34:00.004+08:00

Yo.

Exams have started. I know this is weird, I'm pretty much un-hiatus-ing myself when the exams just started. My "hiatus" started waaaay before the exams anyway. (Last post in June?! Hahahaa.)

I was blog-hopping today, and finally landed here.

I tried to avoid Photoshop, but I still ended up opening it at least once a week anyway.

I tried to avoid the internet, but when I wake up, the first thing I automatically do is go online anyway.

I don't know what I'm doing here, and I bet anyone who used to read this blog don't go here anymore, but I just had a sudden impulse to post, and say hi to my abandoned, spider-webbed blog.

I want a new layout already.

This is obviously very belated, and I assume everyone has stopped celebrating by now, but since it's still Syawal, SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.

Shadow of the day

2009-06-26T23:03:00.003+08:00

Today, my dad woke me up, and his first words were unusual. They were:

"Michael Jackson is dead."

Now, what was I supposed to feel at 6 AM in the morning?

Ah, must be a dream.

Wasn't the best reaction ever, but what did you expect? It's not like I was much of a fan anyway, so the impact wasn't that great. But the fact that another great name in the entertainment industry is gone, well that kind of sucks.

Another star passed away on the same day. Farah Fawcette, one of the original Charlie's Angels, after a long battle of anal cancer.

*sigh*

And the nice men in white coats came along.

2009-06-23T21:59:00.005+08:00

Hey guys.

The neighbours are having a blast with their karaoke, and here I am weeping, begging them to stop. Not that they'll listen, because they're so fcking loud. And this neighbour I'm talking about is not next door, more like, 3 houses down the road. As if the music isn't loud enough, the "singers" just have to scream at the top of their lungs? What the hell do they want? For Simon to hear? AGH.

I actually have a few things to talk about, like, my dad, and my trip to Jakarta. But it's gonna take time, and procrastinating is what I do.

For now, check out this commercial. I don't usually embed stuff, so you must check this out. Hilarious it is, but it leans more towards disturbing, for me.

EDIT: Embedding it stretched my page =___= Here's a link. Still, roflmao.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LQpRQh2KSQ

"Put it in me, Scott."

Shuya is his neeeemu!

2009-06-13T22:10:00.004+08:00

Shuya at Arena Tour 2009 after-concert party

It's Shuya's birthday today! Yay! Happy birthday, Shuya!

It's his 30th birthday, and it makes me feel so wrong for liking him, now that he's gone to another dimension. XD

I'm going to spam this post with pictures of him, which I have collected from various sources. Just a select few though

Shuya at Shanghai Airport

Shuya in bus, in Taiwan

Shuya with Ayu during last Asia Tour 2008 concert in Taipei's after-party

Shuya during a rehearsal, with Ayu

Tired yet?

I'm not. :D

Shuya has appeared in so many of Ayu's productions, both lives and PVs. To date, he has been involved in 10 lives, which includes 5 Countdown lives, and 3 Japan-wide tours and 2 Asia-wide tours (which is basically Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Beijing and Shanghai only, boo)

Shuya has so many nicknames nowadays. Shuya, Shu-ya, Shuuya, Shuuchan, Shuchi. "Shu" is the only constant. There's so many rumours going around him, and he is ONLY a dancer. The most popular one among Ayu's dancers, no doubt, but yeah. Some rumours says that he's Ayu's secret lover, but people who denied it spreads more rumours like saying he's gay, or that he's a playboy, and stuff. He suits the playboy look more than the others though. XD Whatever, I still ogle over him. He's so far away, so why bother with his actual life. I'm just going to fantasise my dream Shuya. lol, so wrong in so many ways.

I find this GIf very hilarious and adorable at the same time. I'm not really a big fan of Maro, but he somehow emits a "younger brother" aura here as he tries to get Shuya's attention, and then gets pushed away.

Some other Shuya GIFs :P

And the rest, more pictures, this time from PVs.

Shuya in 'Marionette'

Shuya in 'Days'

From L-R: Zin, Ryoji, Subaru, Shuya, Maro, Gomi
Asia Tour 2008 'Depend on You' special screen

Shuya in 'Rule', cool Tiger tattoo!

Some say Shuya reminds them of Kakashi in this ninja outfit *not a naruto fan*

This post is brought to you by, HopeLess Productions.

By the way, I didn't feel like mentioning this, but I'm going to Jakarta tomorrow! I wonder what's in store for me...

nakite mo ii?

2009-06-12T22:48:00.003+08:00

Exams ended two days ago, my overall feeling is, bleh. Idk. tlttai.

I'm getting back into J-dramas right now. Been browsing through mysoju for random ones. I've only finished one, First Kiss, starring Inoue Mao.

I guess, I was in a really mushy mood when I chose that series. And hmm, quite a mushy and touching story line as well. Basically, Inoue Mao plays a girl with a heart condition and will be having a surgery that she may not survive. She decided to spend her last two months in Japan with a brother she hasn't met for 10 years. With her condition, knowing that she has a very short lifespan, she was sceptical of love and relationships, so her brother decides to help and encourage her to fall in love.

And fall in love she did, with a very pretty doctor at that. It was so cute, you know. I guess, since I've been into tragic and criminal dramas before this, I find this typical boy-girl dates with no twists very refreshing.

I teared up at the end of almost every episode, with the brother-sister relationship really so sweet <3

The doctor himself is very pretty too. XD So I decided to look him up in other dramas, but then I felt he looked TOO pretty, so I stopped. Haha, and I moved on to others.

Still looking, haven't got a permanent one to watch yet! D:

On monmonday nom.

2009-06-01T11:39:00.002+08:00

I cancelled my PCDL order. I don't want chinese hardsubs okay. The new, re-made batch would start coming in a few weeks, so I would either just wait for that or um, not buy it at all? Not going to care. I do feel like ordering something else, but I don't know what. Hah, ordering for the sake of ordering. T_T

Anyway, I feel like uploading some GIFs to put at the side of my blog, what do you think? Does it lag? :P

SHUYAAAA

He looks so cool here, I love it. Haven't mentioned him in a while, huh? Shuya looks cool there.

oliayu. Rolie Olie Polie.

2009-05-31T06:41:00.008+08:00

I just ordered Ayumi Hamasaki's PREMIUM COUNTDOWN LIVE 2008-2009 and OLIVIA's A Little Pain.

Am I crazy or what? I mean, I want these, but I didn't actually want it THAT badly.

It's probably the exam stress. I tend to spend alot of money when I'm stressed. Usually, it would be on food. Like, I'd spend $8 in the school canteen after an exam, but I wouldn't really eat them. I don't know man. I'm such a stingy person, but I become financially generous when I get frustrated. Wtf right.

I need to see a therapist.

I wanted these two for aesthetic reasons. :P I really like both their covers. I also feel like I should own at least one of Olivia's releases, and this is one old release. lol. I really like the song, especially it being in NANA.

As for Ayu, it's for the whole shebang. The colours attract me. It looks so shiny too. I never planned to buy this you know, I already downloaded the TV version few months ago, but dammit, I just had to go and order it.

I just read some unconfirmed news that the HK version of PCDL (the one I ordered) has chinese hardsubs in it. OMG nooo. I'd be happy if I were a chinese/can read chinese, but noooo. Then they say the HK press is going to be remade with optional subtitles and better quality. Please please please hope that I will get this one.

BLEACH<3

2009-05-25T18:09:00.002+08:00

I bought a few BLEACH posters from Chong Hock yesterday. I haven't thought of where to put it yet. I just bought it on a whim.

My dad was just really financially generous yesterday. XD

Ah, haven't gone to Chong Hock for quite a while, you know. Last time I bought something there was like, years ago. I guess I was kinda turned off about the fact that not only did they sell pirated copies of DVDs, some of the anime DVDs they sold were actually free fansubs downloaded from the internet! I know this because I used to download those things too, lol. But yeah. I could've gotten it for free. That kinda annoyed me.

But I guess, when you're in a tough (and boring) situation, and don't really care what state the economy is in as of that moment, Chong Hock's right there for you. Cheap, cheap stuff.

I do admit that, although I haven't bought anything from Chong Hock in quite awhile, I always linger in front of their shop window, drooling at the BLEACH figurines. Oh lovely BLEACH figurines. I want to buy them. D:

I haven't really read much nowadays, (last chapter I read was chapter 250ish, and I used to be VERY updated with BLEACH) but somewhere in my heart, I'm still a BLEACH fan girl.

Besides, I still check YouTube to see if there are any updates on subbed versions of BLEACH Rock Musical, unfortunately, they're still at No Clouds In The Blue Moon, which I watched like, last year, probably?

Night at the Museum, read all about it.

2009-05-22T17:40:00.002+08:00

I had to babysit my younger brother and sister today. I had to bring them to the cinema because they wanted to watch Night at The Museum 2 so badly or else they'll weep, sob, stomp, whine, weep, sob, stomp and shit. My parents weren't available due to their other responsibilities in life, and as I was the 3rd oldest in the household - supposedly maturity comes with age - next to my parents, I was given the honour.

We went to the cinema, just the three of us.

I have never been to a cinema without adult supervision, unless I'm with my friends. Because then I don't have to be the one talking at the ticket counter, asking for tickets. I've never done that in my whole life. And today, I had to do it, with no guidance, no practice. *wheeze*

Being in Brunei, going to movies seems to be an integral part of a teenager's social life ~~because we barely have anything else here~~, and seeing as I have little to no experience in that, can you calculate the amount of social life I have?

Okay, it wasn't that bad. I went through with it. We went in. Found our seats. Sat down. Watched movie. Ate popcorn. Drank Coca Cola. Finished movie. Went home.

By the way, I went home $8 richer. At least it all ended gooood.

Anyway, Night at the Museum 2 is okay. I've never had the chance to watch the first part, but since the sequel's storyline isn't related to the first one, other than the characters, it's okay. It got me thinking though. If this was not a family adventure comedy, I wonder what genre it would have gone into?

Psychological thriller?

Probably some reference to agalmatophilia? (For some of you who are too lazy to search what it means, Wiki defines it as attraction to dolls/statues/mannequins)

Larry Daley kissed a frickin' mannequin. (when she came alive, of course, but the fact that she's not exactly ALIVE is pretty disturbing). And well, hey. He also talks and made friends with the rest of the mannequins.

Here's my twisted, darker version of the movie. And it's just that one night in the museum anymore. It's got some cliches in it, and please, forgive my tenses. I jump between past and present since primary school English class, and I haven't changed since.

After thinking that he got used to having the museum exhibits come to live, he hangs out alot with them. Even accidentally talking to them in the day, but the rest would just brush it off. He would talk to them every night, have fun with Miss. Mannequin together with the rest until dawn breaks. One morning, the boss finds out that the night guard is sleeping with the museum exhibits, cuddling with a mannequin. Larry would then explain to no avail. He'll get fired. He'll go insane. Then he'll be sent to a sanitorium. After some time, he will figure a way to escape because he can't help but miss his darling mannequin. He will then steal (kidnap?) her and run away together.

In an abandoned cabin deep inside the woods, he'll love her, worship her, hoping for her to come back alive. But by then, as she is not in any way near the Egyptian tablet which brings the exhibits alive, she will remain as a mannequin. He will go even crazier, calling her a liar, screaming at her, but she can not react. For breaking his heart, he will break her into pieces. Her head, however, remained intact. He will soon realise this, and brings the head near him, sobbing, apologising. He cleans the head, keeping it close to him at all times, trying to redeem his sins. He starts getting worse.

He sees blood oozing out from every part of the broken pieces. Too guilty to remove them, he just whimpers in the corner, holding on the head, apologising again and again. The owner of the cabin, a hunter, arrives to see that the door lock was damaged. He entered cautiously with his rifle. He sees the whimpering man who by then threw the head at him, and exclaims, "I killed her! I killed her!" The hunter, surprised by the head, backed off and rushed out to get his phone to call the police, thinking a real murder had happened. Caught offguard, his rifle was snatched away and Larry proceeds to shoot the head multiple times.

"STOP TALKING! STOP TALKING!"

Authorities came, and Larry will once again greet the white cushioned walls, wearing the safe straitjacket that had his name stitched into it, as he insists that he needs to get the voices out of his mind by scratching and clawing his head.

"Welcome back home, Larry," says an orderly who happened to be passing by.

Damn, a psychological drama movie with amalgatophilia would sound so cool.

Ah tu, ah tri, ah 1 2 3!

2009-05-10T22:51:00.003+08:00

I have just spent two hours organising my Economics file. I have to say, I feel pretty accomplished in some ways.

However, due to my lack of experience in doing school-related work *cough* I became exhausted by the end of it, so I didn't feel like finishing my maths homework. I'm sorry, I'll try to do better next time. I'm still adjusting to the disciplined, motivated, hard-working student lifestyle, though I'm not sure how long that's going to last. Wish me luck, people!

...OMG, my parents have started discussing about jobs (for me!) and how I should get get good grades, because it's that little piece of result slip that they'll be looking at. Oh, where did all the years of my sweet childhood go?

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep~

2009-05-04T20:29:00.003+08:00

I feel better. :D

See, I told you it was just that one day.

Yeah. It could happen tomorrow too. And the next day.

It's a never-ending cycle.

I'm still so worked up about World Embryo though, This time, not about the protagonist, but the victims who succumbed to the virus and turned into monsters called Kanshu. The thing is, when they get infected, they will die without realising it and the Kanshu will take over their bodies. The worst part? There's nothing left of the victims when they are killed. No body, not even memories of them will remain. People will forget their existence as if they were never there.

The bright side is that it prevents the people related to the infected from suffering from their loss. But it's still so...ah. There's that one scene where a girl was sitting in the park, waiting for someone, looking for someone, until she completely forgot what is it she was searching. And that was her grandfather, who was slowly erased from her memory as he transformed into a Kanshu.

Oh, woe is me. Haha. I'm talking about a MANGA with a sci-fi storyline. I'm sorry.

I need to get back to listening to NEXT LEVEL. I'm startin to like rollin'!

CRACKED.

2009-05-03T19:54:00.002+08:00

OMG YOHEI DIED. WHY? WHY MUST HE DIE? HE WAS SO HOT TOO.

*wipe tears away* Sorry, I just finished reading World Embryo, volume 2. And the real story just started too. Yohei dieeed.

I also just bought Ouran High vol. 13, there were some tear-jerking scenes too. Particularly scenes involving Tamaki and Hikaru (seperately). Which is weird, because Ouran is supposed to cheer me up with all the funny stuff they manage to do in it, but not this one.

Sorry for being so emotional. I seem to be giving away a few tears a little too easy these days.

Heck, I even cracked during the parents-teachers meet. Just a little, but I did. And thinking about that particular conversation with my teacher itself is making me feel like breaking it again. Not only that, she thinks me and her, we need a longer talk. We're gonna need boxes of tissue, I bet.

Ah, I don't know. I can't stop thinking about World Embryo right now. I feel like I'm in the same situation as the protagonist. Sure, I'm not being infected by some parasite, nor did I lose anyone important to me, but that feeling of helplessness, wanting to just give up and let it all out, and then comes all these people trying to reach out for him, yeah. Especially his feeling of doubt whether to take their hand or not, whether to trust them to lead him to the right path, whether them saving him will be for better or for worse.

His fear of guilt that may arise from their disappointment when they realise their effort to help him may not work at all.

Wait, that's one's just me. I think. I'm not so sure anymore.

I just hope the reason I'm feeling so emo (literally) is because it's THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. Ask me how I'm feeling any other time, and I might have been able to at least show a fake smile and say I'm fine.

I'm scared of going to school tomorrow, facing all those teachers again. I'm really scared. I'm in my "What have I done all this while" phase, and I don't know what to do.

I still feel so unstable.

the NEXT LEVEL is here.

2009-04-29T17:13:00.010+08:00

LONG AYU-FILLED POST. You may only scroll through, if not interested. butdon'tleavemealone. Where's my 'roflmao' icon?! D:

So, remember when I mentioned that I ordered Hamasaki Ayumi's latest album, NEXT LEVEL, last few weeks? It's finally here! I just asked my friend casually about it, and turns out it was already here since last Saturday, and she forgot to tell me. Right. I was wondering whether it got lost in the mail or something all this time, and she had the heart to forget. T___T

Anyway, it's here. It's was released last month, and download links were floating all over AHS, and the temptation to just download was soooo great. But, hey, I managed to pull through and survived today. XD

There seems to be a mix up in the order. The version I wanted was the CD+DVD, and the first press special is a blue CD casing. Somehow, when it arrived, it was the 2CD+DVD version! Which means I have to pay an extra $10 for it. The good thing about the that version is it is a limited first press only, and I have an extra CD which contains the audio from her Premium CDL 2008-2009. The BAD thing is, the first press special is a PINK case! Oh the horrorz to have it displayed on my cd shelf. And I paid $79.40 for THAT. D:

I watched it once I got home. I watched her PVs that I didn't download. I have to say...boring. I think the only one I really liked was 'Sparkle'. It's actually a pretty weird PV, with an excessively cute Ayu in a gaudy dress complete with the puffy sleeves, and an excessively sexy Ayu in a red catsuit. (The making showed that she was actually having a hard time walking in it, lol)

Here are a few screencaps (credits to eneabba.net) of excessively cute Ayu and excessively sexy Ayu.

It was obviously a parody of some sort. Ayu was even laughing at herself in the making. It's true that in real life Ayu has both these images, cute and sexy, just not to the extreme as shown in the PV, lol. The song itself is actually leaning more towards the sexy type, so the cutesy Ayu singing it didn't really make much sense. XD

The other two PVs that I haven't watch was NEXT LEVEL and Curtain Call. Both songs are the soothing type, but the PVs are pretty monotonous, lack of variety of scenes and clothes. NEXT LEVEL just features her driving a convertible on a highway, although she looks really pretty there! Curtain Call is reminiscent of Pride, "a diva in a PV" storyline but she looks less glamarous here, even walking barefooted across the hollywood set. It was even her own suggestion to walk without shoes, and cut half the gown off so that people can see. It originally had a mermaid tail, and ow without it, she looks so simple, which I think is the look she was going for.

From the making:

Final cut:

That's it with the DVD. And now, the songs. I don't feel like talking about any except for these two songs, which made me totally forgot about the rest and they are identity and LOVE 'n' HATE.

Both songs' music and arrangement were done by Yuta Nakano, and this guy is amazing at mixing orchestra and rock, evident in talkin' 2 myself (which I happen to love as well) and LOVE 'n' HATE especially. You should just listen to it, I love'em.

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Track details

eSnips Social DNA

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 「0」

(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo
(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo

I knew from the start
That it's really impossible
Even so ...

I only wated to dream
That my dream would come true
Just for a moment

* I took the courage to approach you
Because I wanted to be loved by you
But I stayed as far as I could from you
Because I didn't want to be disliked by you

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 「0」

It must be true
That you should not behave
Unlike yourself

I'm surprised myself
That this wound seems deeper
Than I thought

** Just because I love you
It would be the best way for me to disappear
If I could hate you
I would rather be better off

The counting voice for the start and the end
Sounds heartlessly
The answer you gave
Is too tender to me
It makes me sad and feel pain

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo
(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo

1 2 3 4 「3」「2」「1」「0」

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Track details

eSnips Social DNA

Hey, you there
Who take the trouble to share time and space with someone else
To cover for your loneliness
With a neutral conversation or something
But have become even lonelier

However skillfully you may decorate yourself
You can't match the truth
You know?

To confront directly in spite of my bitter experinces
Is my ID, ID, ID, ID

It's not important how I'm viewed
What I need is how I should be

Hey, you there
Who just force your opinion on someone else
Saying that you are thinking of him or something
With a look that you have done something good
Just for your self-satisfaction

However skillfully you may decorate yourself
Your real intention is easily seen
Don't you notice?

Not to be able to say yes cleverly to everything
Is my ID, ID, ID, ID

*It's not important how I want to be thought of
What I want to keep is how I want to be

What I need is how I should be
What I want to keep is how I want to be

(translation credits: masa)

As a conclusion (woohoo), the album is pretty mediocre, but a few songs definitely saved it.

I won't be ordering anymore stuff as of now. I really need to get my consumer rationalism to come back to me, now that this is over. Haha. I plan, any other things that I want, I will only buy if I see it by chance. (Which rarely happens in Brunei, so lets hope I could go to Singapore again! XD)

What a toughie.

2009-04-27T18:56:00.002+08:00

Just so you know, I feel so much better since my last post. Shit happens. Oh well. I'm in a new dilemma right now, which is the May/June exams. But I don't feel like bitching about it.

Why?

Because, after all the stress, comes the next phase. The "I don't care" phase. So yeah, as of the moment, I couldn't care less.

I'm just happily listening to Ayu and LP while I do my photoshop thang.

TTYL! <33

My problems and I.

2009-04-20T19:11:00.002+08:00

You know what. I'm tired. I really tired of feeling so frustrated. I'm frustrated at so many things that if you ask me what is wrong with me, I'd be at loss of words.

If you ask me how I am doing, I would say that I'm fine. Because most of the time I won't even be thinking of the problems, unless something provokes it.

Sometimes I think my problems are nonexistent. Sometimes I think I exaggerate too much.

But then, when I talk to someone about it, I realised just how serious my problems can really be.

I probably need a counselor, but what happens if they just dismiss my problems? I'm actually pretty scared of that possibility. I'm not seriously thinking of seeing one, but yeah. Some have already suggested it. I'm not sure if I should take them seriously or not.

I don't want to go to school. But if I'm stuck at home, I would have almost nothing to do. Except, I would probably churn out graphic after graphic, nonstop. That normally relieves my stress, but at the same time, definitely not a healthy activity.

See, the costs and benefits of each action I take (excuse the economics reference) itself is making me more frustrated.

I just hope one day I will wake up and all this will go away.

First step for now would probably be stop listening to all Linkin Park songs.

Yes. In the process of doing that. However, while I try to shift from Linkin Park to Ayu again, I forgot about Ayu's emo songs! Ah. Oh well. I guess I'll listen to them for awhile.

LP: Reconnected

2009-04-18T18:53:00.005+08:00

I used to be a really big Linkin Park fan back in 2005-2006, my "Emo" era. Well, not black-eyeliner, wrist-slitting emo, but I was 14, a very insecure adolescent searching for her place in life. Haha. Yeah, somewhere along to those lines. Linkin Park was my stress-reliever, and I borrowed a pirated version of Meteora which my cousin had (and lost).

But now, so many years have passed and I haven't listened to a single Linkin Park song since then. I drifted away from them, and discovered JPOP. A totally different vibe from the hard sounds of LP.

Anyway, when I was in KK, I saw this.

Linkin Park's Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes.

At first, I was wondering whether I should buy it or not. I mean, I've been disconnected from them for so long, and I wasn't really fond of 'What I've Done'. I thought they softened up too much for 'Minutes to Midnight' and wasn't sure whether this DVD is worth to buy or not. But, I ended up paying RM49.90 for it anyway.

And guess what? I'm in love with them all over again. I listened to other Minutes to Midnight songs that they performed, and damn, I regret not buying that album when I saw it in Singapore! I'm even beginning to love their softer songs, like 'Leave Out All The Rest", "The Little Things You Gave Away", etc. Besides, my all-time favourites were sang too. 'One Step Closer' was such an awesome opening. And 'papercut' turned out to be one of the hidden contents, and I was so happy!

My favourite song from Minutes to Midnight is most definitely 'Bleed it Out'.

I bleed it out, take it deeper
just to throw it away
I bleed it out, take it deeper
just to throw it away
just to throw it away

Please, just ignore that messy pile of DVDs you see.

Besides, I've been feeling a little bit to stressed with life in general since the past few days, and seeing Chester screaming it all out the way I wish I could just consoles me.

The next time I go to a huge CD store, I'll be sure to be on the look out for Meteora and Minutes to Midnight, and probably Fort Minor's 'The Rising Tied' as well. I use to own a pirated version of it, but then again, original versions were really scarce in Brunei at that time, right? Now, I believe in supporting the artists I love by purchasing the original ones.

Which is why I spent almost $200 on Ayu's albums and DVDs last time. :/

I am NOT free. -part ONE-

2009-03-28T18:46:00.007+08:00

You know what I said about being free during school holidays in my last post?

Forget it.

I have yet to have a day of complete rest, minus the first day of the holidays where I was still adjusting to my new-found (and short-lived) freedom.

Last Sunday, the second day of the holiday, at 5AM, I had to wake up. My mum and I were going on a 4-day bus trip to Kota Kinabalu. It was her school trip, and the package only cost $150 per person, so who could resist?

Well, I thought I could stand sitting for 7 hours in a bus, with my MP4 player and book by my side. But the fact that the actual journey lasted almost 10 hours was pretty much, a turnoff. And I only knew that after we arrived.

So, feeling exhausted from the long journey, aching butt and all, we carried our luggage to the dorm. Yes, dorm. $150, remember? Thank God the room had aircons. But the bed sheets, they have this weird smell. And we would have opened the windows if only we could. Our first destination was One Borneo, the new big shopping centre.

Here's the funny part. We arrived at around 5PM, and we decided that we should get enough rest by 7. But because of the condition of the room, my mum and I decided to go out early, around 6.30, and turns out most of the others were already waiting for the bus as well. Haha, I'm sure most of us just couldn't wait to go shopping huh?

I don't really feel like talking about the shopping part, nothing interesting there. Okay, so my mum decided to buy some bed sheets for the night. LOL. We would have bought blankets as well, but we didn't want anyone else to notice how uncomfortable we actually feel in the room.

Haha.

We definitely dreaded the time we had to go back to the dorm. Well, at least I did. T___T That night, we slept with the new bed sheets, without blankets. At least my mum has her long night dress to cover her up, where as I who usually sleep in knee-length shorts, definitely had a hard time sleeping. I don't think I slept at all in fact.

Day 2

School visit to Likas Technical Secondary School.

Bla. Bla.

This part is boring. I was just there as the HOD's daughter and I know nothing about vocational education. In fact, I almost fell asleep a few times during the lecture, which I'm sure was partly due to the sleepless night.

Then, comes refreshment times. I didn't have any appetite (shockiiing), so I just thought I could just drink. With only the usual choices of hot drinks available, which is milk tea and milk coffee, I decided to grab tea. I'm no coffee drinker, hate coffee. But at that time, I couldn't differentiate which is which because they had the same colour, and there was no labeling,

Only after I poured it did I realise I just took coffee, and I thought, what the heck, lets just drink it! And ohlala, the power of coffee seeped into me. Haha.

After the visit, we went back to the dorm for a short while to let the teachers change out of their formal attires, and headed to one of the ports. We travelled to Manukan Island by speed boat (and damn, was it SPEEDY!)

The sea was really blue and clear! I took quite a lot of photos of the sea. I don't know, the blue-ness was just so...awesome.

Here's a few of the better photos:

There were alot of activities at the resort; flyfish, paramotor, gliding, scuba-diving, etc. Haha, I don't exactly remember the names, point is, they were mostly extreme water sports. So while the more adventurous ones joined the activities, what did the rest of us do? Why, we eat, of course!
At about 3PM, we went back to KK, and at night, the usual shopping, this time at Centrepoint.

*skip*

Another sleepless night. But this time we bought a jacket and pair of thick socks each, as well as sweat pants for myself, which I wore that night to sleep. Well, at least I felt more comfortable. But the fact that there was no blanket for me to tug still makes me feels so...helpless. XD

Day 3

On the third day, we travelled to a place that no tourist to Kota Kinabalu should miss, and that is Mount Kinabalu!

Taken from the roadside as we went up the mountains. Apparently, whatever is visible in this picture is still not the peak!

We stopped over at Nabalu Town, and there was a long row of souvenir stalls. The t-shirts they sold were very cool! And the sellers, they really like to give discounts. When we ask, "how much is this shirt?" They answer, "this is $40, but I can give you $25 if you like." Even before my mum starts bargaining, they just say it. But they were really friendly and helpful. I bought heaps of tshirts and keychains.

Nabalu Town: The many, many things that they sell

After that, we went to Poring Hot Springs. Over there, they have the hot springs, canopy walk and a butterfly farm! I wanted to go to the butterfly farm and so we did! There were so many pretty butterflies, but I only have a few good pictures. You can't get too close without scaring them away, unfortunately.

Where's the butterfly in this picture? Hint: The brown leaves are its wings. XD

Same butterfly, different angle

There were also pretty flowers that I wish I could grow in my garden! Basically my attempts at macro photography, and one of the times I wish I had an SLR camera!

And then, we went back to KK.

Sorry I could make a much better sentence than that.

Haha.

Night, shopping. Sleep (tried to).

Day 4

At 7.30AM, Brunei! Here I come! Well, for another 10 more hours, at least. I really didn't like the stopovers. I wish we could just go straight hooome. But no, they just had to stop at some market, and then at Limbang, and with all the traffic jams at the immigration posts, argh. I tried to sleep, hoping that the lack of sleep I've been having since the past few days would help. But no, I was surprisingly wide awake. I munch on my Cottage Fries and Fruit Pluses only to realise we're still hours away from Brunei.

When I did manage to sleep, voices of other people who were still awake won't let me. Even though my MP4 was on full blast, I could still hear the voices of other people.

We finally arrived home at 8PM. Almost 12-hour journey. Unfortunately, I couldn't rest just yet.

Why?

The exchange students arrived that night as well.

You see, my parent somehow love being host parents, and this time, they got two female japanese students. One major problem, they were not so good in English, and I am expected to be a translator. And my japanese language have been rusty for quite a few years already.

And this part of my not-so-free holiday shall be continued in the next post!

We are FREEE~

2009-03-21T05:56:00.005+08:00

Okay, I've actually planned on posting this since so many days ago already. I'm going to set aside my love for crime and medical drama, and talk about Ayu <3 I ordered a few of her stuff a few weeks ago with the help of someone (I'm not sure if I can reveal the name here XD) and I finally got two of them!

Asia Tour 2008 ~10th Anniversary~ Live in Taipei

Rule/Sparkle CD Jacket C

I ordered the Hong Kong version of Asia Tour 2008, so it's like, three times cheaper than the Japan Version. But Rule/Sparkle is the Japan version so I had to dig into my wallet to find $21 for one audio cd. Haha, but it's worth it, the one I bought is a first press, and the first press bonus is,

*dumdumduuum*:

An Ayumi drawing on the CD, done by Toriyama Akira, mangaka of Dragon Ball!! Okay sure, only "otaku"s or probably Dragon Ball lovers get the significance of this. When I was a kid, Dragon Ball ruled my life. And now, to have a drawing of my currently beloved singer by him is awesome!

And the reason for this drawing is because Ayu's latest song is used as the theme song of the live action Dragon ball movie, Dragon Ball Evolution. It's already out, by the way, though I'm not sure if I want to watch it because from the trailer, so many things are so wrong with it and I don't want that movie to tamper with the image of my childhood love.

And just for the heck, lets show what's inside the AT08 box!

There's two DVD boxes, with 3 DVDs in total, and there's also the photo booklet with all the concert pictures and lyrics in it. <3

As a conclusion, here is my very far-away-from-completion Ayu collection!

Ta-Daaa!

..Okay, yes, so there's like, only five that I have. But that's pretty good for someone who barely buys anything original and downloads all the time. :P

(Please take note, the arrangement is merely for the purposes of picture-taking, haha) And yes, that is Vagabond that you see hiding behind GUILTY. I just used my manga-filled book shelf for the...um, best lighting? Haha.

Now, all I have to do is wait for my copy of NEXT LEVEL, Ayu's 10th studio album, to arrive.

There you go, an Ayu-filled post. I haven't talked about her for such a long time, you know. I would brag about my DVD collection too if they weren't ALL bootlegs. So yeah, haha.

Hi. Is Holiday Here. You Have Fun?

2009-03-20T18:10:00.003+08:00

School holidays are here!

Okay, I'm going to skip the part of how grateful I am for the school holidays because I've mentioned the same thing over and over again every time it's the school holidays. So lets just talk about what I've been doing.

Being the drama addict I am, I bought Maou (Devil King). It stars Ikuta Toma <333 and Ohno Satoshi. And yes, I bought it because of Ikuta Toma. Yes, I buy dramas based on who's starring in it, but who doesn't right? You would want to watch your lovely pretty favourite actor on screen, despite how lame the storyline may be. But Maou, whoa.

I think you could say it's more of a "masculine" series. It's about a lawyer plotting revenge against a detective for the death of his brother many years ago. So it has all these dramatic moments with the dramatic music.

And the ending... oh *&^%.

I'm so depressed because of the ending. I think the level of depression that is currently in me is almost equivalent to how I felt when I watched the ending for the third season of Bones.

Like, "WHYYY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAYYY??!!" \(>o<)/

And now I want to watch According to Jim but frickin' player won't play it. I can only watch it in my sister's room. Boo.

See, how very sad my life is? To only talk about fictional people.

Down the rabbit hole, Alice?

2009-03-08T06:22:00.003+08:00

Scratch the emo post.

Just now I was on Wiki, wiki-ing some random pages, and then landed on Tim Burton's. Guess what? There's an Alice in Wonderland in production *___* Set to release in 2010, boo. And Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter 8D I bet this movie is going to need special effects, and assuming Tim Burton is going to achieve the same thing like with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, woohoo!

I was disappointed when I found out the movie Alice didn't seem to follow through. Alice is based on the darker version of Alice in Wonderland game, and it looked really promising, but Sarah Michelle Gellar dropped the role. She would've looked good for it, since she looks quite alike with the American McGee's Alice. I wonder how's the progress. You know, probably Christina Ricci would look as good.

So, I love Alice in Wonderland, okay. Especially the poem of the Walrus and the Carpenter. Since I saw there were roles for the Red Queen, White Queen, etc, I'm guessing it's going to follow the Through the Looking Glass storyline? Unless they're going to mash it up with the Alice in Wonderland storyline the way Disney did. Hmm, 2010. Sounds too far away.

...iz crapz feelz.

2009-03-05T18:54:00.002+08:00

The journey from the class to the Physics lab is a very long walk. It feels so long especially when you're walking alone. And I always walk alone. :( Not that I mind being alone, but it just makes you think about a lot of stuff. It makes you talk to yourself about all the things that happens. Honestly, sometimes I just feel like dropping my bags and files to the floor and lie down right there and scream my heart out, and then continue walking while thinking no one else would notice that.

I actually have no idea why I'm feeling so miserable. Or at least why I somehow try to make myself sound miserable. It probably because it's that time of the month. Annoying, isn't it? And now I can't stop the image of me stabbing something/someone, for some odd reason. Other times, I kind of wish I could just shoot my brain out to just stop thinking about frustrating stuff.

I need my pillow. *weep*

TV, TV, and more TV.

2009-02-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

I finished watching Code Blue.

\(^0^)\ Hooo~

/(^0^)/ Haaa~

Medical dramas are so depressing.

o(_ _|||)o ...

However, they are still awesome.

\(^0^)/ YESSS!

Forgive the excessive amount of ASCII art (if you may call it that, assuming that's the right name, or emoticons) but that was the best I could express myself without showing my real-life facial expressions, because they may look terrible, and I don't want you to blackmail me with them in the future.

Where was I, again? Ah, yes, medical dramas. Sure, I initially watched this because of Toda Erika, but I got hooked up with the whole story. Yamapi was annoying though, the character, I mean. Dude, stop diggin' your nails, will ya? It's pretty unhygienic.

So far, I've watched Iryu, Iryu 2 and now Code Blue. All three series are stories surrounding surgeons, which means they also include and show all the bloody operations they conduct. It's not like I have any intention of being a doctor, or that I have a fascination with blood and gore, but for some reason, they always attract me more than a sappy romance stories would.

I think my first ever medical drama was ER. And that was like, years ago. You know those cantonese series they used to broadcast at 7PM on RTM2? Sometimes there were medical series and those were always my favourite. And if it wasn't the medical series, there's the police drama that would always catch my attention.

Like I said somewhere/sometime before, I am in LOVE with Bones. Besides, David Boreanaz is one of the main characters. Angel, anyone? Yeah, that guy. And in Bones, they never have "normal"-looking victims. They're always either burnt, squashed, badly decomposed, cut into pieces, or whatever, not your normal murder victims. Besides, you could Bones is a perfect combination of police+medical drama, although technically Dr. Brennan does not treat live patients. That, and there are so many things you could discover from bones. Like, whoooaaa.

Did I mention Criminal Minds? That's another awesome series. In this one, they would focus on, well, the criminals' minds. I think I'm just so interested in seeing the twisted criminal mindsets. I like episodes with serial killers the most. Don't get me wrong, but the stories behind their twisted behaviour always make you wonder about life, about the people you know. Wonder whether underneath the surface, there's actually something surpressed, and that once it explodes, what will happen. There was a period of time when I used to research about real-life serial killers, you know. Reading about them is so scary that I would always get my sister to sleep with me during those nights. But, I'm over that already.

I prefer to read Enid Blytons' now.

Who's da TVholic heeeere?

2009-02-21T18:00:00.002+08:00

I just bought Bones Season 4 and Criminal Minds Season 4. Two "crime investigation" series. I love love.

I just got Psych Season 3 and Pushing Daisies from Nis. More "investigation" series, except these ones are more light-hearted than the above.

I just downloaded Code Blue and Atsu-hime. Japanese doramas <3 Doctor story and shogun-times story.

Ah, so many things to watch, so little time.

Don't ask how I'd be able to study and revise between all these, because I don't. :P

Now I'm just deciding WHICH one I should watch first. I want to watch Bones because I already finished season 3 few weeks ago, but I also want to watch Criminal Minds because I haven't watched that in such a looong time.

Also, when am I going to watch it. I feel like watching them at night so that I could finish it by morning, but I might be too scared to do that. But I don't want to start watching in the morning because I don't want to waste my time just doing that, because trust me, once I start watching a series, I won't stop.

Ah, the dilemma of a TVholic.

The Adventure of The Girly Girl who Failed as a Girl as She Grew Up.

2009-02-11T19:31:00.002+08:00

When I was a little girl, I used to really girly.

I loved to wear dresses. I always wore dresses. Or overalls. I don't think I ever had real pants back then. I remember my favourite dress was pink with yellow flower prints all over it. I wore that everywhere. Of course, when I attend parties, I wear fancier dresses.

I also loved playing with Barbie, now that I remember. As much as I hate to admit it, I had a huge collection of Barbies. Fairy Barbie, Princess Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Casual Barbie, you name it, I got it. I would always make my dad to bring me to Just Toys so that I could buy extra clothes and accessories for my Barbies. I think that's when my love for drawing first started to bloom. I was an aspiring designer at the age of 9.

My cousins would bully me. I would just cry and run to the nearest adult. I was a really timid little kid.

I would have been the perfect girly giggly teenager today if my mum had not stop influencing me and when my dad started buying clothes for me. He bought me jerseys. Mainly those of Germany during the World Cup 2002 rage (if I'm not mistaken) and Arsenal, his ever-favourite football team. I never grew to love football, but then I realised how jerseys and sweatpants feel more comfortable than dresses, well...haha.

And then I just started to move on to oversized tshirts and three-quarter pants, and away from the dresses and blouses, and I'm stuck like that until today. I never actually discovered make up, you know. I knew my mum wore them, but I was never curious enough to put on some myself.

The Adventure of The Girly Girl who Failed as a Girl as She Grew Up.

End.

Monochromatic!

2009-01-19T18:27:00.002+08:00

My laptop's keyboard functionality has finally returned to normal after so many months. Now I can post whenever I want again without having to kick my sister off the "main" computer of my house when ever I need to do something that involves typing. Not that I ever mentioned this problem, since no one is looking for me after all. But anyway, here we are!

Oh yeah, the J and K button somehow got knocked off, so I only click the rubber thingy that's below it. lol.

It 6.30 and I am bored. I should probably take a shower but I'm too lazy to move from my bed. It's a Monday and I felt sleepy since morning. So you could imagine how much I struggle to concentrate in class. And I wasn't the only one. That's not a good thing.

You know how bored I am? I randomly googled Shuya's name just now. And I don't do that ~~anymore~~. Do you know how pathetic that is? And do you want to know something more sad and pathetic? My blog appeared in the first few results.

My life is a bore.

On the bright side, it feels good to not have to carry something heavy every Thursday nowadays. Almost every Thursday since the last two years, you would see me carrying one sling bag for my books, one backpack for my kendo uniform, and of course, the ever so popular shinai bag. Add some files to that as well as three-storeys worth of a building and I feel like I've been climbing a mountain all day long.

But now, all I have to carry is a small camera bag which I can obviously put in my schoolbag. Woohoo for convenience.

So how's Photography?

Eh, we just had the introduction last Thursday. It wasn't anything interesting yet, but we already decided the themes we're going to do in the next few weeks, all on school grounds. I'm looking forward to fashion photography among others. I wanna see how we can do that outside of a professional studio. Haha.

What's up, hell?

2009-01-09T12:09:00.002+08:00

It's that time of the year again. You know, the "new" part of the year. Like it or not, we have to get back into the game, facing new challenges ahead. In my case, it's the challenges of being PU 2 of MS. I haven't got a chance to say "Happy New Year" to you yet. "You" as in, my dear blog. Yes, I love you, bloggy-blog <3. All because I've been soooo busy with school.

When my teachers last year warned how the second year would be much tougher than last year, that it will feel like "being in another world", I didn't realise the shock would throw me off so far that I landed in Mars.

Apakan.

So anyway, I know I've only been in school for the past four days, but it already felt like months of workload has been put upon me. Every time I come back from school, it's so exhausting. I don't know if that has anything to do with the many formulas I have to memorise in Physics and Maths, or trying to understand the theories in Economics, OR the fact that I have to climb THREE frickin' floors up and down for every hour of the day just to get to class.

But then again, it's probably because this time round, I'm actually trying to concentrate in class. Not exactly my new year's resolution, but I feel like, "oookay, let's get this over with! We only have 10 months left of school!" So yeah, concentrating in class. In the last few years, the things you see on my notes and textbooks are doodles. So it's really a pain in the ass trying to put the pencil down and actually listen to the teacher. But I'm trying, and trying my very best!

Still, I am really really struggling with Physics. Currently studying Circular Motion. Why did I ever take Physics? My FAQ to myself, since the last year. I love knowing the logic behind things, and I Circular Motion very interesting. Things go round in a circle due to a resultant force called centripetal force. And that's why planes have to tilt when they want to make a turn. Interesting fact really, but because we have to like calculate the linear and angular velocity and displacement, I cringe. Oh man, I'm beginning to spout nonsense. You may skip this paragraph. Although saying this at the end of the paragraph is pretty useless since you might have gone through it before reading this part right?

Sorry. :(

Now with school from 7.30AM to 12.30PM, and with all teachers giving extra classes up to 2.30PM, there isn't much time left for photoshopping. Therefore I am sad. But since I took up Photography as my CCA, I might get a chance to use photoshop in school. Woohoo.

Quite a few people asked why I didn't take Kendo, since I've been taking it for the past two years and they know how much in love I am (supposedly) with it and the money ($200 for the clothes and equipment) I spent on it. Other than this being my last schooling year. But I guess the passion for it pretty much got drained out of me. But I'm not entirely giving up on Kendo. One day, I sure hope I'll take it up again. There is a hint of regret in my heart when I realised I didn't sign up for Kendo, but I'm sure it'll pass. I'm excited to try out photography. Besides, there's a 2-week trial for our CCAs, and if we don't like it we can change. Thought that doesn't mean I WILL pick Kendo. I have my eyes on another CCA for the time being.

watching!

2008-12-31T10:17:00.003+08:00

I'm currently watching Atsu-hime right now.

The 47th NHK Taiga Drama is a life story of Atsuhime who was born in Kagoshima Prefecture, then called Satsuma, and became the wife of Tokugawa Iesada, the 13th shogun of the Tokugawa shogunate. She accedes to the highest rank in Ooku, the inner palace of the Edo castle where women related to the reigning shogun resided. Iesada dies soon after their marriage and Atsuhime assumes the name Tenshoin at the age of 23. She exerts herself for the Tokugawa clan and for the nation during the upheaval in the Meiji Restoration, headed by those from Satsuma.

--Quoted from DramaWiki

It stars Miyazaki Aoi, one of the main reasons I first wanted to watch this. Besides that, Horikita Maki and Matsuda Shota are going to make appearances in the later episodes. And there's also Eita! I never thought Taiga dramas would have these young and popular actors playing in them, you know.

I'm downloading the torrents from d-addicts, because I've been searching for this series at online video-streaming sites, but there was none. Probably since taiga dramas are always sooooo long. This one itself consist of around 50+ episodes. Starting from the day Atsuhime was born, and who knows, probably until her death at age 49.

At the same time, I'm also watching Seigi no Mikata, starring Shida Mirai and Yamada Yu. And there's Hongo Kanata too! This one

What a nice day.

2008-12-22T09:54:00.002+08:00

Last week was my 17th birthday and I spent it in Jollibee! <3

Wait, let's rewind that! One day backwards please!

The girls came to my place and we like, had an awesome time togetherrr! Like, OMG, we painted each other's nails, talked about the boys *squeal* IT WAS AWE-TASTIC-SOME!

Okay, never mind. It's a huge, fat FAIL.

Actually, they came to my house. You know, the usuals. Nisa, Liilah, Fadz and Faiqa! We made a deal deal that they;d come to my house by 9, but due to unavoidable circumstances and the ongoing curse of "Janji Melayu", we finally manage to complete the group by 10-11ish. Not bad huh? XD

We watched Fido, a zombie comedy movie. I actually find that movie rather disturbing. It's about how some sort of radiation from space (Thank you, Wiki!) would cause the dead to raise as zombies. And then we played DDR since Fadz and Liilah brought their PS2 and the mats. Haven't played in such a long time <3 My own DDR mat is kept somewhere...somewhere. Probabaly turned into a rat's nest or something. Somewhere.

And then we watched a malay horror movie, Puaka Tebing Biru. One of the character's name is Ayu.

Made a joke during the movie, "If there's Ayu, where's Shuya?" D:

I know. That's pretty sad.

But the story itself is really nice. One of the few malay movies that I could not only tolerate, but enjoyed! Of course, there's also Fadz's reactions to poke fun at. Rating of the whole thing 10/10. And the screaming girl helped out alot.

My dad finally came home the next day. It was...an auspicious occasion! (I just discovered that word. *giggle*) Patchi chocolate. ALOT OF PATCHI CHOCOLATE. OMG. And then there's my birthday present.

A phone.

A touch-screen, iPhone-like cellphone.

Which means I have to part with my beloved Nokia 6510.

My dad bought it because his cousin recommended it to him, saying it's one of the the latest models for phones.

Not being ungrateful here. But I'm not quite fond of it, to put it lightly. It's very incovenient for me. I have to go through so many areas just to check my inbox for example. And I have to use a frickin stylus to navigate my way through it. Waste of time.

I don't use my thumb to dial anymore, and that's hard for me to adjust to. Whatever happen to keypads?! I STILL LOVE MY KEYPADS.

AND IT'S PINK. OF ALL COLOURS.

You know, I could just simply rejected it. But it's from my dad. So I guess I'll try to get used to it.

I did try to take out the SIM card again though, to put it back in my old phone, just to feel it one last time. But I COULDN'T. Dammit. It's like that thing is saying, :there's no turning back." *snickers*

2008-12-14T17:25:00.002+08:00

My 9-year-old sister and 4-year-old niece had a funny conversation.

sister: You know, my guy friend saw you and he thought you were hot.
niece: *flicks hair* hot? No, I'm fine!
sister: No, he means you're hot! I think he likes you!
niece: Oh, that hot. You're supposed to say it as HAHT. not hot!
sister: Oh, HAHT.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, as how you want to distinguish between someone who feels hot and looks hot.

*bow*

Ever since the beginning of the holidays, I've been tempted to start a story. I've always been a writer, I just lost the passion some time ago. And now I want to write again. So many little things around me have been inspiring me to write, but I can't seem to start. I don't know where to start. In my mind, there's a conflict between a love story, a thriller, an adventure story, and stories that make you think.

I've finished reading Alice's Adventure in Wonderland and The Little Prince. It's not really healthy to read these two books one after another mainly because it's just so bizzarre, it makes you think, and such. But I did it anyway. And now I'm reading the The Curious Incident of the Dead Dog (or something like that) and the narrator is an autistic teenager. Again, another bizzarre point of view with a weird storyline. Why am I drawn to these type of books? Teir so awesome they fry your brains. T_T

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
- Which one are you talking about?

2) What was your dream growing up?
- Doctor. So that I could open my dad's eyes wider. Please, this was me at 10 years old.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
- Teleportation!

4) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
- Jolly Bean's After 8 or Fruities' Summer Lover *drool*

5) Favourite vegetable?
- Hoo. Haa. Cadbury. *hides*

6) What was the last book you read?
- Enid Blytons'. *laugh* I still love them.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
- Sagittarius! Yoohoo~ it's the Sagitt's month, people!

8) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where?
- One piercing on each ear lobe. Mummy said i got it when I was a baby. It was a tradition that helped them to distinguish between baby boys and baby girls.

9) Worst habit?
- day-dreaming.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me ride?
- No. 'Cause I don't drive.

11) What is your favourite sport?
- Shopping. Photo Shopping. :D

12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
- Sadly, pessimistic.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
- I'll rob/rape you. No, I'll probably just rob you. With my mechanical pencil as a weapon. Beware, lead is poisonous!

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
- Got hit by a ball during a handball game on the eye. HARD. Couldn't stop tearing my eyes out for a long time, but I swear I wasn't crying. It was um, a reflex reaction.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
- I like you 8D

16) Do you have any pets?
- I have cats. Are fishes in the fridge considered as pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
- I'd ask my maid to open the door.

18) What was your first impression of me?
- You? Um. You? Ummmm.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
- AGH. I had a dream about a gypsy clown (yes, a middle-aged woman dressed in gypsy clothingwith clown make-up) chasing me around my grandpa's house.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
- My hair, I want it to have the 7 colours of the rainbow.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
- Or.

22) What colour eyes do you have?
- Dark brown. Boo.

23) Ever been arrested?
- Not really. 0_0

24) Bottle or can soda?
- Bottle. It's...COOLER.

25) If you win $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
- Order tons of CDs and DVDs on the net.

26) Favourite band to listen to when you’re mad?
- Ayu's angsty rock songs, or Bowling for Soup's hyper rock songs, or generalls Linkin Park and Three Days's Grace.

27) What’s your favourite place to hang out?
- Me bed, mi amor.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
- ihaveall18volumesofrusselllee'struesingporeghoststories

29) Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
- ------photoshopping------ Or sleep.

30) Do you swear a lot?
- Har Har.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
- peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
- coolawesomeyaw

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
- Um. Aha. lol. Pssssssssssssh.

34) Most favourite and least favourite food?
- Most => ayam goreng masakan ibu tersayang XD
- Least => some weird brown vegetable

35) Tag 5 people to do this.
nononononono.

Life.//.Ayu.//Tags.

2008-12-07T19:49:00.003+08:00

I have yet to re-link anyone. D:

Last week was the last week of school. (CAUTION: Sentence is confusing. May cause seizure. Please read carefully.) Today is already the end of this week. I know I haven't been updating. Did anyone miss me? :(

We had the annual CCA Closing Ceremony on the last day. Second time doing a kendo performance, and I somehow felt it was more crappy that last year's. Thanks to a bunch of unwanted factors from several parties who were supposed to be directly involved in planning the performance, we had lack of practice. I'm not going to vent my anger in this blog. It's totally not worth it. Besides, it's over. At least I don't feel like killing someone anymore now.

So what is up?

Well, for one thing, my dad's not here. He's off to perform Haj, with plenty other people. T_T Won't be back til the 18th. So thanks to that, we hold tahlils every thursday night, and will be doing so for the next few weeks until my dad comes back.

I've been spending my time downloading torrents. Of ayumi hamasaki. lol. Her concert was released on TV, so I had to download that. Illegal, yeah, but at least I'm not supporting any bootleg companies, right? This one is directly from the net, baby, shared by other Ayu-fans as well. Don't worry, I'll try to get the DVD once it's out.

-BEWARE: Over-excitement ahead-

AND AND AND OMGAAAAAAAWD. Ayu also just released her latest PV. And guess what? Shuya's in it too. T__T I'm so touched. So, you guys want to see how Shuya looks like minus the sweat and with some clothes on? (LOL, that sounds wrong) I mean, with normal clothes on.

Well, I'm sure you don't, but HOO-HAA. I beg you, please watch it. It's just a 5-min video. Surely you'll be able to tolerate it, right? Come on, my friend, you my friend, I your friend, we friend. So we watch, okay?

Can you believe it? A back-up dancer is used as the love interest in the PV. *SQUEAL*. Of course, Shuya just had to be with someone else and make Ayu cry. Nyeeeee~ Can you believe Ayu is 30 this year? Maybe I should go ahead and do susuk.

----------------------

I got tagged, by Riku and Afiq! D: I don't like tags. Usually because, I don't have enough people to tag back. OMG my life is so sad.

Tagged by Riku~

1. take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture right now
2. dont change your clothes, dont fix your hair, just take a picture
3. post that picture with NO editing.
4. post the picture with these instructions.
5. tag 7 people to this.
6. *no tag backs*

So, is this the latest cool pose? I really need to update myself.

I ARE EMO. I ARE NOT EMO. I ARE COOL. I ARE...BABOON.

Second tag:

1. each blogger must post these rules.
2. each blogger must being with ten facts about them.
3. other bloggers who are tagged must also state the rules and ten facts about themselves. you must choose ten people to give this award to and list their names at the end.
4. it is essential that a tag is left at their tagboards, letting them know about the award they've recieved.

First off, wow. Grammatical errors. Fascinating.

1. I just got a hair-cut.
2. I am obsessed with Ayu.
3. I love Shuya.
4. I totally dig the Ayu-Shuya pairing, even if it's not real.

-----OKAY. I was just playin' ya, dawg. Chillax, and we'll carry on.----

5. My nickname since Form 2 is Majin. And it means "devil" in japanese. Apparently, most of my friends don't know that. I just think of it as extension of Maj.
6. My social life is NIL. Especially since the holidays started.
7. I like cute kids. But not when they ACT cute. Then, I'll just want them to disappear from the face of earth.
8. I like to eat out. And the only thing I almost always order is Chicken Rice, or Butter Milk Chicken if they happen to have it.
9. I've been photoshopping way too much. In fact, it's enough to do a "Graphic Overload #4" now, but I'll let it rest first.
10. I love photoshop.

----Just adding this extra fact no. 11

MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. Now, lock your doors and windows, kids. Good thing we don't have chimneys here.

3rd tag (by Afiq):

What’s the relationship between you and him/her?
Used to a friend-of-a-friend. Now a friend. XD

5 impressions of him/her?
Awesomely good at designing clothes. *__*

The most memorable thing that he/she said to you?
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! .........ha." Yes, Afiq, I will always remember that, even if it wasn't exactly said to me. LOL

The most memorable thing that she/he have done to you?
Lending me his laptop to photoshop, even if it was for a while. I was dying at that moment of boredom.

If she/he becomes your lover, you will…
make him laugh that infamous laugh of his all the time. OMG CORNYYYY HAHAHA

If he/she becomes your enemy, you will…
feel awkward. :( And sad. And hate. Haha.

If she/he becomes your love, she/he has to improve on…
photoshopping. Because I am. Muahaha.

If she/he becomes your enemy, the reason is?
He stops designing. J/K.

The most desirable thing to do to him/her is?
Um. 0___0 Huggle him like the teddy bear he is.

The overall impression of him/her is?
Sweeet berabiz. likeomg

How do you think people around you feel about you?
They hate me. *cuts wrist* They love me. *cuts wrist*

Your character that’s a plus?
I love to photoshop? D: Is that good?

On the contrary, your character that you hate is?
I photoshop too much. Meaning, I focus on one thing too much, leaving the rest of my life behind, most of the time.

The most ideal person you wanna be is?
Hooooo. Ahhhhh. A more confident, successful version of myself?

For the people who cares about you and likes you, say something about them…
I love you guys, where ever you are.

No seriously, where are you?

10 people you tag.
1. Baz
2. Muizzah
3. Sya
4. Riku
5. Azah
6. Ami
7. Azzah
8. Lylah
9. Rifaie
10. Ami

OMG that was hard! D:

*Note to tagged people: write about me! since I tagged you!

Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
Me. <3 Right, Mui-izz-Zah?

No.3 is a female or male?
Female. A hot one at that.

If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing?
That would be very disturbing.

How about no.5 and no.8?
Eek.

What is no.1 studying about?
Econs, lol.

Is no.4 single?
No. Ia pringle.

Say something about no.6
She's a schoolmate. GP classmate. Occasional Librarymate.

New Layout.//.Graphics Overload #3

2008-11-23T20:28:00.003+08:00

In the process of making a new layout! :D I finally found one that doesn't throw my graphics out of the margin. Now, all I have to do is restore my tagboard, and, um, re-link everyone. 0_0 OH NO.

- TOPIC CHANGE -

GRAPHICS OVERLOAD! Muahaha. No, I don't care if you hate it. BUT TAKE A LOOK. OKAY?

So, thanks to the "very inspiring" graphic works in my school magazine, I can't help but think, can we not use basic Photoshop filters without making the graphics look tacky? Filters are basically photo effects you use when you want to make your pictures looks "watercolour"ed, grunge-ified, or whatever. And oh my God, it's been misused so many times over it's getting annoying.

Check out Friendster and Facebook, tons of them here and there. I admit that I've used these techniques to prettify/uglify my pictures before, but now that I know better, time to change! I don't use FS or FB anymore, anyway. So heh.

Today, boys and girls, we are going to use these pictures of Ayumi Hamasaki (who else?) for our editing session:

So lets start with Photoshop filters:

Here's the picture with a layer using the filter "Dry Brush" after I adjusted the opacity and layer modes. (And after I did some colorazation and texturing, but that's beside the point.)

I like how it looks like a painting, with a layer of glass on top of it.

Now, let me tell you, we can put two pictures (or even repeating the same picture) together without using the damned Magic Wand tool!

Boys and girls, meet Layer Mask! And for the rest of it, go search for some reliable tutorials yourself. Type "blending tutorial" "photoshop" "layer mask" and whatever other things.

Sorry I'm not so helpful. I just wanted to rant.

*for any of the graphics above, click to full view*

kthxbai.

Now, on to my non-rant graphics part! Showing off for the sake of showing off is the worst. But never mind, I can only do this online anyway.

I personally love this JEWEL set.

They would just normally blend a few screencaps, with the background attached, like this sig I once did:

But thanks to the amount of free time I had to ponder on what to do now that exams are done, I decided to clear the background, to make it stand out among other JEWEL sets. Thank you, brain, for that spur-of-the-moment idea.

Haha, Ayu looks like a ghost here.

I quite like this TRALALA set. I don't know who the people in it are since I made it as a request, and since the pictures themselves are already stunning, I tried a different style, so this was definitely experimental. I love the outcome, and so did the person who requested it! ^^

Ayu had a new magazine photoshoot again, ViVi January 2009 issue. And you know what new photoshoots mean to graphic makers with graphic shops?

Mass requests with the same photos of the new photoshoot. *thud* YAY.

I could've said no :P But I guess I wanted to torture myself, how far can I go with the same thing over and over again. Man, I suck.

*giggle* Look at that. *giggle*

More sets using filters! See, toned down ones don't make it look too annoying.

Some wallpapers (2 Ayu, 2 hitomi, 1 Ayumu/Zwei):

Click on the thumbnails, people.

Sometimes, I wonder, why do I even post these here.

Well, if you've actually bothered to read this whole post and reached here, holler at me!

you and you

2008-11-21T10:28:00.002+08:00

I taught Afiq how to use Photoshop yesterday! XD Or more like, showing him, or um, basically, me doing photoshop, him looking on? Yeah. I suck at teaching. LOL And Fadz came! Haha, we were all good settling down in the library, until, DUMDUMDOOOM (yes, I need to stop using that sound effect) KHALIILAH DOLRANI came. Haha, terima kasih, dang eh, sampai kami terpaksa menghalau diri kami dari library. XD

And I finished my plaster mould painting! Of a duck named Shu-chan. (Please, don't tell me you can't guess where that came from.) I'll try to upload a decent picture of it sometime soon. Maybe, maybe not. I suck at painting.

And 2007 school magazine is released. And it's boring. SO thin, so little info. But the section that I took the most "interest" in is the "Graphics Section". Dayyyyyum. And that, is a bad "Dayyyyum". I don't want to sound mean, but I wonder what the hell have they been doing with Photoshop? From what I can see, it seemed like they mostly only used the "Magic Wand" tool to crop out the images, and paste it on some random texture that they merely use as a background. Whut. Photoshop has more uses that that. You guys might as well use MS Paint if that's all you're doing! There were some with cool effects, but the way they used it makes it look like what we would call "corny" visually. XD

Okay, shouldn't criticise that much. I should try to work on my own skillzzzzz first.

Ciao, bebeh!

-ZOMG-

SINGAPORE, lah!

2008-11-13T08:36:00.011+08:00

This will be the second consecutive long essay I shall call a post. XP

Many of you don't know this, BUT I JUST GOT BACK FROM SINGAPORE!! Had a two-night stay in Melitus Mandarin Hotel, which is awesome, because it was just opposite of Takashimaya! I didn't really bother to take pictures of the hotel, or anything at all, in fact, because this time, I came to Singapore as a shopper, not a tourist! If that even means anything. So yeah, words are all I got in this post, except at the end of this post!

I looked forward to going to HMV the most, and some big bookstores that Singapore has. I warned my dad that I have a really long shopping list, and guess what? He gave me B$600~ Liek, OMG riiiight? With another $100 from my mum and $50 from my grandfather, I thought I got more than enough money to spend on. Besides, I am a cheapskate, a "rational consumer" if you must. I normally can control myself with money. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case then.

I remember when we almost reached Singapore, there were some thunderstorms which was really scary. And the ride was pretty bumpy at one point that I think I would have been at least pushed out of my seat if it wasn't because of my seat belt. That was fun. XD

After checking in, we went to POPular Bookstore. OMG. Two-storey bookshop with EVERY FRICKIN TYPE OF BOOK YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE. Well, I was speechless.

I felt rather....drained after looking at those books. I don't know, so much money spent on all those. And it wasn't because of my aunt's membership discount card, I would have to pay a much higher price. Miserable as I felt with all the money that has flown away so quickly, I was so happy that I bought all these books! I finally found WILD ADAPTER VOL. 2, since Best Eastern didn't have it here. And I waited for such a long time :/

And there's Alice's Adventure in Wonderland! I've always wanted to own a copy of the book, and now I do! I also finally have Russell Lee's TSGS vol 16 and vol 18! <3 style="font-style: italic;">The Last Empress" and Freakonomics because they both reminded me of Ms. Jess. XD Ms. Jess gave me a "Last Empress" phone-chain, so I thought what the heck. And the last book, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time", I bought it for aesthetic values. XD

Total money spent = $168.77

Then, we went to HMV, which was, luckily to us, was also close by our hotel. Apparently, my aunt said we spent a total of 1.5 hours in that shop, but did you think I would have noticed? She said she had never spent such a long time in a Music store, but what do you expect when there's so much to choose from? XD AND I NOW HAVE Ayu's A COMPLETE! I resisted from downloading any material from that album, and it's totally worth it, because now I have a hard copy of it! <3 style="text-align: center;">

I also bought her Mirrorcle World single with YOU ~10th Anniversary version~ and her Countdown Live 2007-2008 ~10th Anniversary~ *swoon* I actually already downloaded both of these, but I decided to buy them while I still have the chance to! When I opened the CDL booklet, and I saw Shuya, you know what my first reaction was? "OMG, he's real! REAL!" LOL, pathetic little fan girl, I am. It's not like I thought he never existed before, but yeah, things are different when you see it printed than on a screen, I guess. XD

I got Koda Kumi's KINGDOM, because...I like her song, FREAKY. And that's about it. Stupid reason to buy a whole album, but again, what the heck. And then there's Kanon Wakeshima's Still Doll single. I love her, love love her. Even my sister is falling for her! Her cello music is so awesome *_*

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I have Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory! I don't care if it's an old album. It's Linkin Park, and many of my all-time favourite songs came from that album! I know it's weird to see it among JPOP albums, but never mind, I have a wide range of taste in music.

Total money used = $163.75.

That was the end of my first day in Singapore. Of course, we had little stops in between, but nothing significant, to me at least. We also went to Takashimaya, but bleh, I couldn't concentrate on other things until I got all those stuff.

Oh yeah, before we went back to the hotel, we walked all the way to Concorde Shopping Centre to get some playing cards which my sister asked me to get for her. Turns out that place was filled with Karaoke lounges, night clubs, massage palours, omg so scary leeehhh.

But at least "The Magic Hall", the shop that sells the cards, was pretty decent. I just gave the list of names of the decks to the guy who was working there and waited til he got all of them. We just went straight out of that building.

Second day, 11th Nov 08

I decided to stop buying things for myself, and get some for my family, Takashimaya, here we go! I think we almost spent the whole day in Takashimaya, and iSetan too. I got my dad a smart collared-shirt, a brooch for my mum, a collared-T for Udin, Keroro Gunso toy and Ben 10 vest for Hafiz, and High School Musical calender for Izzatul.

And then I saw a section with a brand called Myuk, and OMG, I fell in love with the designs, and the wordings~ I couldn't resist. So, I bought myself a bag to use for school, a phone pouch, and a wallet. 8D~

They also had a place at the central area with small stalls selling mostly toys and stationery. I found some notebooks with awesome front covers. I couldn't choose which I would want to buy, and guess what, I bought all of the notebooks with different designs.

Total money spent (including the ones I bought for my family): $218.08

Then my aunt brought me to Kinokuniya, but I thought, what for, I already got what I wanted. Yeah, that's what I thought, until I saw....BLEACH. It's BLEACH, man! How can anyone resist that? I know I haven't read BLEACH for such a long time, but that was because I was so tired of downloading! But I just felt like I had to own at least one hard-copy volume of it, so I did! And I also bought the "Soul Character" book which is basically filled with infos of the characters from BLEACH. And I chose to buy Vol. 22 although I already read it because it has Ulqoirra on the cover. And I still don't know how to spell/pronounce his name.

I actually tried to stop myself from buying it, since it's TokyoPop and costs more than Chuang Yi. But um, I just did.

Total money spent: $40.27

And then she just had to go to Borders, next! I was so exhausted, physically and mentally! I kept fighting with myself the whole day about what to buy and what not to buy. T_T But somehow, I was automatically lured to the manga section (yeah, as usual) and saw the greatest creation of all!

The Bleach artbook, All Colour But The Black! And it's around A4 size, meaning, huge-ass pictures of them hotties in colour *_*

Actually, I just don't remember the order of the shops we went on the second day. But never mind that!

I do remember that after Takashimaya, my aunt wants to go to Kinokuniya again, and she gave me and option, to come with her or to walk back to the hotel alone. Thinking of all the money I used that day, I decided to just go back to the hotel, alone if I must. So I did. We were leaving early the next day, so I packed that night. Thanks to all those books, my luggage which initially weighed about 2kg with only clothes in it, it weighted about 15kg after all that, so can't use it as a hand-carry luggage anymore. XD

Day 3, 12th Nov 08

Byebye, Singapore. Thanks for making me finish my money. I still had around $80 in my pocket by the end of all that. But you know, having $80 left after two days when I initially had $700, it ain't good.

I bought some Malay kuehs at the airport for my grandpa. That was when we saw another Bookstore, Times. OHMYGOWD. It has "The Little Prince". In colour! I previously saw one in POPular, but the illustrations were black-and-white, so I couldn't be bothered. But this time, it was in colour. *_* Great. Just great. Resistance really is futile. Even though I managed to stop myself previously, I just had to see it again. And the book was $23.90. *sigh*

Finally arrived in Brunei around 1PM. The flight back was pretty smooth. My MP3 player was dead, and we had to spend 2hours in the aeroplane. That is boring. D: But I tried to think of it as a jhourney to Belait and back, with the outside view of nothing but mist. XD I got window seats back and forth, so it's still awesome. I love looking out of the window of an aeroplane! <3 style="text-align: center;">

My book rack. It actually has a third rack under, but I cropped it off since it's filled with books that I never read anyway. I put the DVDs and CDs I bought in a drawer, since I don't have a permanent place for the original ones I bought yet. (Yes, I have so many pirated copies. XD)

Also, I'm sorry for the excessive usage of "XD"s in this post. You should try it too. It's fun clicking X and D, one after the other.

SSEAYP '08 ♥

2008-11-12T19:32:00.009+08:00

LONG-WINDED REPORT WITH PICTURE OVERLOAD. Read at your own risk, and if you care.

SSEAYP. Have I ever mentioned that in my blog before? I don't recall any, especially since the last one was two years ago.

Brief info: SSEAYP stands for "Ship for South East Asia Youth Program" which is basically a home-stay program for individuals from 18 to 30 years old from all 10 S.E.A countries and Japan. And they use a ship to travel from country to country, instead the more common and conventional mode of the transport, the aeroplane. WHICH IS SO FRICKIN' AWESOME. I hope one day I can join it too! o:

This year is the third time we became a host family, the first and second time in 2005 and 2006 respectively. The ship didn't land in Brunei last year. :( So anyway, this time, we took four of them to "home-stay" with us! I think the one from Indonesia has the most interesting names. Her name is Antartika, but you know what her height is? She only reached up to my shoulder. *roflmao* So much for having a name of one of the world's largest continent.

L-R: Alia (Malaysia), Sun (Vietnam), Anti (Indonesia), Romy (Japan)

In the car, they were so amazed at how...empty Brunei streets are. And about how many trees there were. XD

We went back home, where Kaka Amoi was preparing some Ambuyat (♥__♥) and other traditional food. I don't know about them, but I finished almost the whole bowl of Ambuyat to myself before it turned out all dry.

After an hour of rest, the time for FUN begins. As typical it is with tourist attractions, we took them to Kampong Ayer. Haha. But it's okay, I LOVE KAMPONG AYER. I don't know, I just love travelling in the boat, looking at the houses, just basically, relaxing. We even got to go to see Jong Batu. The islet with the legendary tale of the man who betrayed his mother and was cursed? Yeah, that. Even until now, I am so amazed with the shape of that islet. It really looks like a half-sinking ship which just really freaks me out.

After all that, we went home around 6PM. Fast forward: Around7, we went to my aunt's house. The car was quite packed. (Boring jua cerita ku ani ah.) Anyway, we went to my "favourite" aunt's house. Haha, let the teasing begin. XD They served satay which really excited Alia and Anti who longed for malay food. Sun and Romy tried as well, and they said it was delicious!

So Unchu then told them how to say "delicious" in Malay, which is "nyaman". Romy kept repeating it the whole night! Every food thatw as offered to her, she said "nyaman, nyaman!" Then there was a time when my aunt asked them how old they were, and she asked in malay, I guess she kind of forgot that Romy wouldn't have understood, and Sun was somewhere else with my mum. So the conversation went like this:

Unchu: Berapa umur kamu semua?
Alia: Dua puluh tiga.
Anti: Dua puluh.
Romy: ? ...dua puluh?

We laughed because we realised she didn't get it. And then before we got the chance to explain, Romy again went, "Ah! Nyaman! Nyaman!" LOL

In the end we did tell her what we were actually talking about, and she realised her mistake. And dude, she may be petit, but her apetite must be double her size. XD We offered everything, and she accpeted all of them. From kebab to pasta to satay, and the malay kuehs, she just ate them all. And of course, "Nyaman!" I commented on how much she ate, and she said, "this is normal for me." =____=;;

Like, seriously?

Day 2

I had to go to school. T_T But have no fear, because they also have to stay at home! TO COOK! My dad's programme ever since the first time we became the host family is to have them cook a local delicacy of their own!

I only remembed Sun's and Romy's cooking, Vietnamese Spring Rolls and Japanese Curry, because I especially loved them. I think Alia's was something egg-related, and Anti made something REALLY spicy with minced chicken. Don't remember the names. XD

My grandfather was also invited, so he came with two other of my aunts. Good thing he knows English. Funny incident (involving Romy again XD) was when she was introduced to my grandfather.

Nini Aki: Ah, so you a japanese?
Romy: Yes.
Nini Aki: How do you say this, aaa....aaa... Ah! Ohayo gozaimasu!

I couldn't stop laughing! XD My grandpa is 90, and it's already afternoon. Not that those two are related, but well. For those who don't know, "ohayo gozaimasu" is Japanese for "good morning".

Even when he left, he said "ohayo gozaimasu" when he meant to say "arigato gozaimasu (thank you)". LOL, how he even knows Japanese, I have no idea. Probably remnants of the 1940s?

We then went for a short visit to Jame' Asri Mosque. Turns out we could actually enter the mosque to explore it, except we can't bring in cameras and we have to wear these black robes, especially for those with tight-fitting clothes. Not that I was wearing any, but I wanted to feel the experience of wearing them, so I did! XD

After the visit, SHOPPING TIME! Where else would we go, if not the Mall? The Gadong Mall, that is. Kiulap Mall and Airport Mall? Pssssh. We ate at the food court before we went out separate ways. Sun went with my mum to a souvenir store accross the street. Dad went with my sister to somewhere else. Azzah and I were left with Alia, Anti and Romy. They wanted to finish their Brunei dollars XD Alia and Anti stopped at one of the gadget stores while Romy wanted to buy a baju kurong. Since Azzah was more "knowledgable" about the gadgets, I left with Romy to find her baju kurong. Unfortunately, we went here and there, from the second to the ground floor and up again, looking for a baju kurong in vain. And no, there was no happy ending, we did not find it.

In the end, Alia and Anti didn't buy any mp3s as well, so all three of them decided to use up their remaining dollars in Body Shop.

Day 3 - Good Byes.

Woke up extra early that Sunday. We had a small gathering in our living room, the last one EVER. We exchanged gifts with each other. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sun's gift. It was a dragon fly made of wood, and it can balance at the tip of your finger by the end of its "nose". IT WAS AWESOME AND SIMPLY ADDICTIVE. I don't know, probably for someone who studies Physics like me, it really is a simple wonder. Especially since Sun said the toy existed since in the past.

We then headed over to Kaka Amy's house for a light (actually rather heavy) breakfast.

Dad was wearing his Arsenal jersey because Arsenal won the night before in a match against Manchester United. So yeah. XD And at Kaka Amy's house, we saw Sakura, my 3-month-old niece! Romy was surprised to see someone named Sakura here, and she was so excited by it. Alia and her kept going "Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!" Sakura is so lucky to have a japanese name. T_T

It's because her grandmother wanted all her grand-daughters to have flower names. Her first grand-daughter is Yasmeen (Jasmine), second is Aleesya (Rose) and then we have Sakura (Cherry blossom). I suggest the next grand-daughter to be named "Rafflesia".

We went to Royal Regalia for a short half-an-hour. Um. Yeah. I don't know. I'm getting tired of Royal Regalia. XD

And then.

*sobs*

It was good-bye.

We went to Muara Port to send them off. We were all separated for a while before finally finding each other in the ship when it was open for us to come in. We had a tour in the ship, and I just can't get tired of it. Who knows, one day I might be in it too! I hope one day I will be able to join SSEAYP.

They were put into groups of their own countries. We were closest to Romy and Alia, but Alia was busy being the press, so we only managed to have a chat with Romy. Took a picture with her; Azzah, Romy and I. And I dubbed it "Saigo no Sasshin. (The last photo)" Jiwang jua eh. XD

Finally, it really was time to say good-bye.

No more delays.

They had to go to their ship. SSEAYP has this tradition, where the participants will throw ribbons to their host families from the ship and by the time the ship moves away, they will release it. I'm pleasantly surprised to find a "thank you" messages at the other end of the ribbons when it was released. That was when I started tearing up when everyone else was already sobbing waterfalls hours ago.

WE ARE FAMILY♥

I want to see all of you again. We will, right?

Because I like KACANG.

2008-11-07T07:29:00.004+08:00

Life is driving me nuts. Well, the internet is anyway.

One moment I'm giggling over Ayu/Shuya moments. Ayu had a post-concert party for her staff, and well, there were many pictures of her and Shuya. 8D~

The pictures were so cute and I couldn't resist. What's more with many people insisting that they're not dating and bla, I just had to make something. Even Ayu herself mentioned in her blog, "Shu-chan and I, we're not dating!"

And then I'd be weeping over Yi Ping/Shu Huan moments. (The main characters in 'Romance in the Rain') Couldn't stop crying for two whole episodes. XD

I just had my Econs exam yesterday. It was hahahahahastfuhardasshahahahaha. Ms. Jess lagi mesej tarus lapas kami keluar exam hall. Gila kali.

But, at least I'm free now. No more exams til next year! Muahahaha!

...I'll probably be re-taking them, will be more serious then. No more rooms for laughter. T_T

We're hosting more SSEAYP participants! And they're coming today, I totally can't wait to meet them, though I'd probably be too shy to speak up. We got four of them, from Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia and Vietnam (Or was it Laos?) Haha!

...ZOMG. Mood swings. Bipolar? OMAGH. Nah, just stress.

APAKAAAAN.

That's

2008-11-02T22:08:00.003+08:00

I know I'm in the midst of exams right now, but I really, really can't help but re-watch this chinese series that held a special part in my heart ever since it first existed. Heck, it was my first chinese drama ever. And it's called "Romance in the Rain". I remember how Amanda and I first stumbled upon the series when we were channel-surfing. We saw interesting it was, and decided to watch it, and almost never missed an episode ever since. I was still about 10 or 11 at that time, but I was already into the mushy lovey dramas.

I'm rewatching it online right now, on CrunchyRoll.com, which is basically one of the best places to watch asian dramas and movies. Japanese, Korean, Chinese, they got almost everything. I love the place to bits. It was where I watched my first Ayu video too, and hooked me up with a few korean and japanese series.

So anyway, Romance in the Rain, it's VERY dramatic. Set in the 1940s era in Shanghai, it's main storyline is about the two daughters of an ex-war hero. He has nine wives, but the story focuses on the two last wives, known as 8th Mistress and 9th Mistress. 9th mistress is a beeeech. Well, mainly about the daughters, love triangles, nut cases, blabla. As I said, it's very dramatic. I think the series was made in the late 90s, so they still have that cliche TV effects.

For example, during a moment of suspense, they would have that "dumdumDOOOM" sound along with sudden zoom-in into the shocked character's face. And then during a so-called intense staring match, along with the "dumdumDOOOM", they also switch cameras quickly, moving closer and closer into the characters' face each time. LOL Kind of like this:

But overall, I am getting pretty addicted to the story. I'm loving it so much, until I feel like having the urge to study Mandarin again. I never really got to do it when I was younger, but now, yeah. Mandarin, Japanese, I wish I know them. We even talked about them during Econs. And for the heck of it, I want to learn Spanish too ~~so that I can watch the spanish soaps without crappy malay subs~~ . Haha. Zirah and I learned some chinese characters that Pey Chyi and Ms. Jess taught us when we were supposed to be revising.

Econs class, why must we always get sidetracked so easily? XD

Laaaazy.

2008-11-02T12:10:00.002+08:00

Hi blog. I miss you. As usual. :P My blog posts these days are few and far in between. And it's not even because I'm on an "hiatus". Besides, there's a difference, whether you're on a "hee-ya-toos" or "hai-a-tes", right Mu-izz-Zah? XD

Yeah, so anyway, I haven't really been revising, so I can't really use that to explain my absence. I'm probably procrastinating. PROBABLY. There's so many things I want to talk about, but I keep on procrastinating. That is just sad.

I already did both my Pure Maths and Statistics paper. The verdict: Definitely re-taking. Ha. Ha. I think I did really crappy for Pure, and as for Statistics, I did not revise at all. Probably a flip through the past year papers booklet, and listened to the discussions in my maths class, but that's about it. But this year's Stats paper, IMO, is somewhat easier than the papers that we revised with. Like, FTW.

Now, I want to focus on Econs, which will be my very last paper. EVAR. MUAHAHA. For this year, at least. Unfortunately, being in Maktab Sains, we are going to start the new syllabus straight afterwards. Geez. Thanks alot.

GRAPHICS overload #2

2008-10-17T15:28:00.005+08:00

BOO-YAH!

I'm bored. And I'm not studying. Yes, I slack too much. Point?

This is my attempt of cheering myself up.

Don't you guys miss me and my graphics? :D Well, I know you don't, but I'm going to talk about it anyway.

So like, the Ayu-Shuya love spread throughout the forum last few weeks. A lot of people requested GIF sets from me. Do you have any idea how happy I felt? Heavy load on my laptop, but it was awesome. XD Unfortunately, the big sizes of those signatures became a heavy load on the forum as well, so most of use had to remove it, unless it's below the size limit. Oh well, good things have to come to an end sooner or later. XD I'm just freakin' pleased to see more..."open-ness" about Ayu and Shuya. LOL, I'm making it sound as if they're really going out. 'Nuff with the words, you may browse through the graphics now! :D

I find this GIF very amusing.

The last one is mine. Extra special for me with the moving text, because it's mine. XD

Other than that, I also worked on some non-Ayu graphics, for example, my very own cousin!

She's a part-time model and these pictures are from one of her photoshoots. Guess I was bored one day, and wanted to do something with non-celebrities.

And here comes the most recent ones, as in, today! I discovered vector art recently, and I loved how awesome some wallpapers looked. And I am here to show off my first ever vector wallpaper!

There were alot of brushes and resources I used for this one. Obviously, as a first-timer, it isn't that flattering, but I am tempted to make more of these!

Oh yeah, being an ayu-freak, I made one, with Ayu in it, too! XDD Please, what did you expect?

It was pretty hard looking for a picture that would suit it, but I did. Or I sort of did.

Oh Shuya, your girliness just enhances with your teary eyes.

Sorry, that was random.

And no, I did not photoshop those pictures. XD

And the rest of this post?

Not a good fit.

2008-10-16T17:05:00.002+08:00

You know what, almost every other PU1 blog I read has "Selamat Hari Raya"s as their latest post. Well, exam season has officially started anyway, and I had my Pure Maths yesterday D: Definitely re-taking T_T I mean, I was wondering if anyone would mention the "incident" that happened in the exam hall yesterday.

Not mentioning any names here, but everyone who was there saw it. We were about to start, and the invigilator even said, "you have five minutes to read the questions." And that was when it happened. The invigilator on stage saw something amiss on the other side, and pointed, so obviously we'd look out of curiousity as well. From my view, I saw one of the boys shaking, with one of the teachers trying to calm him down. Turns out he had a seizure. He was carried to behind the stage, and was taken away by the ambulance later. Did you have any idea how much that affected me? And heck, everyone else in the hall for that matter? Most of us were already stressed enough thinking about the exam, and suddenly an extra load was added as it was really freaky. Some of us were about to cry and all, almost breaking down, but there was no way out, we had to sit for the exam. I was blank for the first few minutes, just staring at the paper.

But of course, other than that, I'm sure my lack of time management would also "help" in downgrading my results.

2008-10-12T18:04:00.002+08:00

Gila kali.

Aku macam...nervous berabis. Isuk periksa EOY Econs, and the only thing yang ku buat is...photoshopping. It calms my nerves bah. But it still doesn't make me forget the fact that isuk PERIKSA. D: GILAAAAAAAAAA. English melayu pun inda betantu lagi. Patutnya ku belajar pulang ni awal ani, tapi mun ku belajar, makin stress tia ku.

Gila. Bah.

Selamat Hari Raya.

2008-10-08T16:19:00.002+08:00

A belated Selamat Hari Raya to you, my readers. :)

LOLwhut.

OH HAI.

HALO THAR.

LONG TIME NO SEE, BLOG.

Yes, I say blog, because I know I have no readers, and that I'm just talking to my blog.

Anyhoo, lets just imagine we are a few days back, still in the holiday, still celebrating Raya. Because that's what I would like to talk about now. Stupid school rants ain't getting anywhere in this post.

Anyway, first day Raya. *___* Started off pretty rough, with Udin making tantrums and mum, um, "making tantrums" as well. But all settled when dad got home after the prayers. I gotta be honest, I love my clothes this year. I mean, it's the only time of the year where I don't mind feeling and looking pretty and girly. And also an excuse for me to wear things with heels on my feet. LOL. And I LOVE my clothes this year. I mean, last year was too tacky, but this year, together with my hair....*swoon* I'm in love with myself. XD LIEKOMG I'M A GUUURL.

We went to my grandfather's place first of course. Did the usual get-together, although it seems like with most of my elder female cousins married, they went to their husband's side first. :/ It still has a very cheerful atmosphere though with the kids here and there. Ah, one of the awesomeness of being malay. This family-togetherness thing we have in our blood <3

And then, we went to the other granduncles' and grandaunties' place in Sg. Tilong and this place which name I have no idea of. I am an embarassement as a Bruneian. D: And then, off to mum's side, to Tutong, here we gooooo~ To my cool grandmother yaw. Haha, it's refreshing to hear brunei-fied english, especially when spoken in kampong accent.

"Bah, agatah ambil penaruhan kicap ah, di atas parija tu ya."

And I was like, what? Penaruhan kicap? Parija? And then I realised, oh right, "penaruhan kicap" is "ketchup bottle" and "parija" is...dumDumDUM..."freezer". ROFL

And another well-known brunglish (I'm not sure if that word exists) is "tumas". And my aunt used that word as well.

"Atu bah, tumas ku lakat lagi manaskan aing."

And "tumas" is "thermos".

Haha, kampong life, how I adore you. I don't think I would be able to survive, but having occasional visits never fail to excite me.

Lonely star

2008-09-25T20:10:00.003+08:00

You know, if there's one song from Hamasaki Ayumi that I can never get tired of listening to for the longest time, it's Memorial address. It's not your typical ballad nor pop song coming from who they dub "Empress of JPOP". (Honestly, I don't really like that title on her.) But I tell you, this is one of the more emotional songs she has ever written. Yes, hello, she writes her own lyrics. Ever since the beginning of her career, until now, 10 years later.

They say don't judge a book by its cover. It totally applies here. Don't think that just because Ayu dyes her hair blonde, wears expensive brands (D&G, Christian Loboutin, LV) and acts all ditzy, doesn't mean she's superficial and shallow. Her father left when she was two. She was raised by her grandmother and her mother allowed her to lead a rather carefree lifestyle. She dropped out of high school, went into a short-lived modeling and acting career, before being discovered by her current manager. So basically, she had exposure to "life" as an adult knows it at a very young age.

Anyway, I am generalising too much here. XD I was supposed to only talk about Memorial address. After asking around, I found out that Memorial address is basically addressing a tragic event, or something. I'm trying to simplify here. lol. And that definition is really appropriate here as it has been rumored that the song is dedicated to her deceased father. (Even whether her dad is dead or alive is still a rumour).

The above picture is a simple thing I made from screencaps of the live performance that made me fall in love with her and the song. She was so emotional performing that song that she even missed a line in the beginning! First time I watched it, I got goosebumps.

The lyrics were about her being in denial of someone's death.

You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting

Despite being in denial, she can't help but feel the sorrow and pain. And as time passed, she began to accept it, the sadness begins to show in other forms as well.

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year

By the end of the song, she calms down again, and turns out that she was still in denial.

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake

Those are basically my favourite lyrics of the song. I also love how the melody starts out soft, only with piano as the background. By the second verse, the guitars came in suddenly. Maybe representing her outburst? And then, at the last two lines, the one that I posted above, the piano starts again, going back into the soft melody. I don't know, man. Just ignore me. I suck at intrepretations.

Here's the song. I do hope you'll listen to it. (Come on, it's good thing I'm not putting it on auto-play.)

Memorial Address - Ayumi Hamasaki

(By the way, they labeled the wrong album here. It's supposed to be Memorial address, not MY STORY. And I don't know who that girl in the picture is :X)

And the performance that made me fell in love with it?

memorial address(live) - ayumi hamasaki

Memorial address
Hamasaki Ayumi

munasawagi to tomo ni nemuri ni tsuita yofuke
totemo kanashii yume o miteita no o oboeteru
sono asa yokan wa chinmoku o yaburu youni
naridashita denwa de genjitsu no mono to natta
kokoro ni kienai kizuato o nokoshita mama
anata wa hitori hoshi ni natta

sayonara ne mou nido to aenai basho e itta none
eien no wakare no tsumetasa o uketomerarezu ni
kikasete hoshikatta uso de kamawanai kara
atashi wa anata ni tashika ni aisareteita tte
tatta ichido de ii kara

owarinaki hazu no kanashimi wa maku o tojite
kisetsu mo kawatte samusa ga yake ni mi ni shimiru kedo
are wa wasure mo shinai natsu no hajimari no hi de
atashi no kawari ni kotoshi wa sora ga nakitsuzuketa
datte amari ni mo yume no tsuzuki no you de
mada naku koto sae mo dekinai mama

sayonara ne saigo no kotoba sae todokanai
wakare no tsumetasa o iya tte hodo omoishirasareru
kikasete hoshikatta no uso de kamawanai kara
sugoshita ano hi o kuyandari shite nai n datte
tatta ichido de ii kara

doushite souyatte saigo no saigo made nee
omoide dake o oiteku no

sayonara ne mou nido to aenai basho e itta none
eien no wakare no tsumetasa o uketomerarezu ni
kikasete hoshikatta uso de kamawanai kara
atashi wa anata ni tashika ni aisareteita tte
tatta ichido de ii kara

kore wa tada no yume no tsuzuki no monogatari de
atashi wa mada me ga sametenai dake to itte

I remember I went to sleep late that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the premonition became a reality
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself

*Sayonara --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream
And I can't even cry now

Sayonara --- Even my last words don't reach you
I'm made to realize the coldness of the parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie

Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end?

(*) repeat

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake

Translation by masa

Because I said so.

2008-09-18T21:18:00.003+08:00

We went to Misato for sungkai today. In the many times I went to a japanese restaurant, it was the first time I've ever tasted Sashimi. And it was a free side dish along side the buffet. I love it. I love the sashimi. Since they were using raw meat, I would've thought it would be chewy. But nooo, the tuna and the salmon was so...soft! OMG, I'm so going to order some when I go again.

WARNING: useless Photoshop talk.

I love blending~ I love love blending~! XD

Ever since the school holidays started, I've been churning graphic after graphic. Especially now that I have a graphic "shop". It's where people post graphic requests and you make it for them. Pretty good, you know, fills up my time. ~~Pity that I don't get paid, though~~ Besides, it is a fact that "performing creative activities may release the stress upon an individual." So yeah, I was so into it, that I decided to learn a few new tutorials. And voila, my favourite set is created!

Others using the same tutorial:

But you see, the problem arises when a number of people put up requests using the same photos. It happened recently to me, and some other graphic makers of that forum as well. You see, Ayu has this new photoshoot, and it is really pretty. But having to see it everyday...well. Here's an economic term for it "Decreasing Marginal Utility", simply put, the more you look at it, the more tired of it you get no matter how good it is. x_____x

These were done in chronological order, so you see how the quality deteriorates after each and every one of them. x_x

Anyhow, I also started photoshopping other j-artists as well. Mainly hitomi and Namie. 0__0

Funny, you know. I used to suck the most at wallpapers. But that's what people have been requesting the most. So, I had to make them. Well, it's all good. I'm getting used to them. Here's two wallpapers, using the same picture. Big difference, huh?

And then some more, because I love you.

There are obviously some resources that I'm supposed to credit. But, there are too many of them, and it's getting pretty late. (Well, at least my dad thinks so.) So I have to go now. Byebye *OH-TUTI style*

There, I'm done. Are you guys sick of me and my graphics yet? :p

Been busy! :p

2008-09-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

Last day of school! Last day of school! Haha, I am totally rubbing this in your face, dear certain UK peeps. XD We were baju kurungs to school this morning for ~~advanced raya celebrations~~ Khatam Al-Quran. My skirt was so frickin' loose. And with the strong wind going in at the concourse, the skirt just twists around me. At least it didn't fall off. Whatever. LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. That statement just totally made my day.

And then, best part is, the Econs class went out to sungkai with Ms. Jess! Although we ended up NOT cross-dressing (unfortunately), we still had fun. All three of us, Zirah, Pey Chyi and I were there. The PU2 boys showed up as well. Ms. Jess also brought her parents, nieces, nephews and ~~brother~~ ~~toyboy~~ whateverheis along. So it was one looooong table.

The food was good. But the refilling was so slow. Had to wait for another 15 minutes for our "second round". I really love how tender the black-pepper beef was. *____* And buttermilk chicken. Double *____* But the mushroom cream soup was too...creamy. Eeek. We stayed until 7.15ish. We were the ones who stayed the longest while other people left around 7. The RTB show that was...showing was such a turn-off.

They were discussing the causes and effects of rape. One of the obvious reasons, but total misconception, is that girls who dress scantily are the main victims. So, what do you have to say for the old grandmas and underaged innocent children who also got raped? I mean, nothing appealing about tham, I'm sure. And then there was a skit, where the rape victim-to-be was merely wearing a normal three-quarter blouse and some...normal pants. Nothing sexy/slutty about that. The blouse wasn't even low cut or extremely fit. Nor were the pants low-waist or anything. D: Well, I guess, in Brunei, anything more than that will be censored.

Yeah, that should have probably gone into some other post. But whatever. Anyway, we went jalan-jalan in the mall after that, although there was nothing much to see. We ended up standing in front of the cinema watching movie trailers. XD Yes, jobless. How much cooler can we be?

Break my heart, B.

2008-09-10T19:28:00.002+08:00

I dedicate this song to my lovely virtual hugger, Mu-Izz-Zah. (Yes, in my world, you have tripple Z).

Miss, Miss Jess, Miss Jessica
Sya, the not-so-malay bimbo
Zirah selalu sama Pey Chyi
Kelvin is the only boy
Baz and Ani, durang si pandai
Maj, si doodler of the class
Muizzah is the light of the kelas
And Ming Rui rolls her eyes at
*back to da top!*

-Awu bah, I don't remember the arrangement and some of the verses. XD

wearenotcrossdressers.

2008-09-07T11:48:00.004+08:00

Ms. Jess was really hyper this morning.

Ms. Jess: "Hey girls, lets go have sungkai together someday!"

Pey Chyi, Zirah, me: "Sure!"
Ms. Jess: "After that, we'll go cross-dressing!"
Pey Chyi, Zirah, me: ".....D:"

Which somehow reminded me of this picture.

Cross-dressers have never looked so hot before. ROFLMAO

You know what, despite me thinking Shuya looks like a girl all this time, he looks plain ugly above. But, I think I'm starting to have a crush on Subaru-chan! LOL, Subaru just looks so cute here, like an innocent high school girl. Probably that's why.

Um, I actually don't know what to blog about today. Bye.

speeches and songs

2008-09-04T16:04:00.002+08:00

I know. I abandoned this blog for too long. I wish I could simply say, "I've been busy." but that would have been one big fat lie. Pun unintended, because you know, that would be insulting myself. Haha. Self-degradation, best done in public for maximum enjoyment (of others, of course).

Anyway, the reason I haven;t updated yet is because I have to make this particular post first, before anything else. And that is, what I did last Sunday, 25th August 2008. :D

"I WANT TO BE HEARD!" - Gun-hater from Runaway Jury Of course, any other idiot would be able to come up with that ingenious saying.

And we start with a random quote.

Dear Blog-With-No-Readers,

Last Sunday was the 7th National SMARTER Conference.

Last Sunday was also the *insertnumberth* Japanese Speech Competition at IPA.

Last Sunday was the national SMARTER Conference and Japanese Speech Competition at UBD. Both events of which I was supposed to attend. I HAD to attend.

I had to do a speech during the conference to talk about my autistic brother.

My friends and I had to perform two songs during the Japanese Speech Competition.

The crazy thing is, both happened in the morning, and both the timing was so WRONG! They totally clashed with each other. Who could ever be in two places at the same time?!

Well, I could! XD I was on a very hectic schedule, so the planning had to be precise. Some miracle helped too. I got ready, and went to UBD around 8. Had a little practice. I was pretty reassured at that time because the event starts at 9 AM, which means we'll be done with our first song at 10, and I could just zoom off to IPA since my speech was scheduled at 10.30. But, I kind of forgot that in Brunei, when they say it's going to start at 9, that's actually the guest of honour's wakey-wakey time. So in the end, the opening lagged until around 9.45, which means no chance to perform D:

And that's when the miracle happen! None of the speakers of the first level were there, so we get to perform right after the Guest of Honour's speech! We were done by 10. So I changed my shirt into the SMARTER shirt, and rushed to IPA with my driver. Because of the winding road, (damn highway got no u-turn), I arrived around 10.25. My mum already re-scheduled my speech to 10.45, but with the rush of adrenaline I had at that time, I wanted to go on stage right then. So I did. And I gave the speech. I think I did pretty okay, albeit speaking a little too fast in the beginning.

Well, obviously I talked about my brother, my experience as a sister to an individual with Autism. The previous "Parent's Experience" had brought out tears from everyone, but obviously mine didn't. One, I wrote my speech the night before, so there was not much input. And two, it was too brief. Besides, I already said in the beginning of my speech that "what I write here is a very summarised version of what I actually feel, as half of the things I feel and think could not be expressed in words." HAHA, very dramatic.

So, right after I finished that speech, I had to stop to talk with a few of the other speakers, these ones are "Australian-imported" speakers, specialists on Autism and whatnot. My mummy made me see them, but it was cool because they managed to put my nervousness away. Some people in the audience also gave me a thumbs up, and one of the most unexpected ones was when one of them stopped me and said, "your speech is very nice. You are a very wonderful sister" with her teary eyes. As I am not good with handling those kind of situations, I just said thank you (lots of times, until she let go of my hand)and then rushed out before anyone else stopped me. Haha, and then, I went to UBD again for the second performance.

I was already there, and could have been earlier, if it wasn't for a stupid car who drove like a snail in front of us, right in front of the Chancellor Hall. Wasted 2 minutes of my life. When I actually reached it, they were already in line to go up the stage. So I quickly took my position and went ahead. Any later, and I would have missed it!

Good thing is, that was the last of it. I managed to relax after that, stayed back to watch the rest of the competition, and even had lunch there.

The way I typed things up here, it doesn't sound like I was really in a rush. But trust me, it was CRAZY. I have pictures, but I'm too lazy to upload them. Maybe someday, when I have the mood to edit this post, I will!

Gunjil's Family Reunion/Gathering

2008-08-23T19:30:00.002+08:00

Yes, some more. SAM MOAAAAA~!!!

Gunjil? My mother said Gunjil is the name of my great-grandfather from her side. And the reason his name is so weird is because he is a Dusun(-ese?). One of my proud heritage. Then again, you could say it is pretty common to find Dusun blood nowadays in anyone, I guess. At least in Brunei. Although, I think not as common as Kedayan? Or some other "puak"?

My mother is a Dusun, and her family is so diverse. So many faces and religions, all under the Gunjil name. Some are married to Malays, some are married to Chinese, some are probably married to other Dusuns. Some are muslims, some are christians, some are buddhists, yet we all gathered that one day, under the name of Gunjil. Some live in Brunei, some live in Tutong, some from Belait. I'm not sure if there were any from Temburong.

It's very unfortunate that I didn't even introduce myself to the many family members I have. I guess that was the point of the games, but still, they seem to only stick with people they know. Like I did. I am just simply to shy to make the first move, and well, no one else did. The games were really fun, although I didn't participate in any.

It's such a pity that I'm not close with this side of my family. My dad's side is more "urban". Not saying that they aren't, but with the family elders still living in kampongs, leading the kampong life, it's certainly a different side to my normal life. Especially since they decided to do this family gathering in a Balai Raya (community hall, I think?) instead of some fancy schmancy restaurant when I'm sure they can afford it.

The event itself was pretty normal, very casual. The opening was very special, though. They wanted to honour the four eldest members of the family, including my grandmother, who is the oldest of the eldest at 95 years old. Very proud of her. The eldest son/daughter of each of them are to present a gold ring and place it on their fingers. The emcee said that there is a tradition when it is forbidden to mention the names of the elders, so they can only refer to them by saying, "Ibu kepada..." (mother to...) for example.

So anyway, it was a great day, especially since I get to spend time with my grandma which I normally don't get to do because she lives in Tutong and my mum almost always leaves me behind :/

Annual Brunei Kendo Dinner

2008-08-23T18:58:00.003+08:00

Pasted from Microsoft Word because internet didn't work that day. Wanted to say a few words, turned out sooo long.

The long-awaited Annual Kendo Dinner report! Okay, not like it's long-awaited by anyone. And um, it's not a report. Just want to say a few words about it, I guess. It was such a horrible day, man. At noon, the wind was blowing SO HARD that lots of notes belonging to the Form 5 students who were having their exams and flew away because the left it at the concourse. Way away into oblivion. Seriously, because I don't see most of the notes lying on the ground anywhere.

Anyway, I had to go with Kaza to her place since I wouldn't have any transport otherwise. Ah, I miss going home by bus. It's way more convinient than having to arrive at school at 7.29AM and grabbing a late slip because my class is 3 minutes away from where I was dropped. :/ My, aren't we getting a little bit side-tracked here?

Anyway, had lunch at her house, took a shower, and off we went to Asma Hotel, transport courtesy of Qisu's mum. :) We had to go early because they wanted to make some last-minute stage deco. Never realised how far it was to go to Jerudong from Serasa. It was a really long car ride. 0__o And then I saw the stage. It wasn't ugly, but very plain. And all they had were pink and white ribbon. THE HORRORS. I'm not exaggerating, but looking at pink makes me go all..."X___X". Maybe baby pink would have blended more, but never mind. So I helped. At least, I tried. There wasn't much you could do when you only have ribbons. I guessed I kind of voiced out a little too many "honest opinions". I don't get Bruneians. Or probably humans in general, myself included. They want criticism, yet they try to...

The event itself, well, there wasn't much to say. We had to sit according to our schools except for the comittee and the senpais. I don't like that. I saw alot of old friends yet I wasn't able to interact much with them. We were supposingly formal but...*sigh* Besides, the juniors were huddling around each other. Riku was quiet. Kaza sitting at the comittee table, and I was all...alone. *yawns/bawls* But, hey, at least the emcees, Qis and Keem, did try to make us lively. The only part that I really did enjoy? The band performances. Well, the first one anyway. I had to go by the time they ended. They did a cover on "Glamarous Sky". OMG~ *swoons* Why did I ever stop loving Mika Nakashima? XD And I don't know if it's just me, or does the vocalist somehow resembles Mika Nakashima? It was probably the make-up, eyeliner stuff. But she sounds like her since she's the deep voice type.

Anyway, had to went home right before ourschool performance. Relieved? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Because ever since that day, the song that we were supposed to sing is haunting my head.

Au-tomat-ic!

2008-08-20T13:36:00.003+08:00

Now that qualifyings are over, I'm supposed to be overjoyed and go, "OMG! IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! I AM NOW FREEEEEEEEE~!!" I would have done that, ~~probably jump off a cliff too for the sake of freedom~~, except I still have the real AS and EOYs to "look forward to." Besides, as Physics was my last paper, there wasn't much to celebrate about. I mean, I wish I could say, "Yay! I failed Physics!" with a huge ear-to-ear grin. D:

Oh yeah, I got tagged. First time in history! *Haha, yes, pity me* As this is a somewhat warm up post and I got nothing else to say, I might as well do it even though no one is going to read it anyway.

the rules:

1. state 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. the 10 people i tag are then to follow what i did and write their own 15 weird things/habits/ little known facts.
3. most importantly, NO TAGBACKS.

I open Photoshop automatically every time I use the computer even when I have nothing to do there.

I go to this particular website automatically every time I open Firefox.

I automatically open 3 tabs in my browser when ever I go online.

I automatically go to the kitchen when I'm bored and open the refrigerator, even though I'm not hungry.

I automatically approach a sink in a public toilet, even if I wasn't doing any "business" earlier.

I automatically...

You know what. I sound like a robot. I'm gonna have to stop there.

I don't know who to tag, and they say no tagbacks. So bleh. I TAG YOU.

Mun paham bisai x ah...

2008-08-12T18:47:00.002+08:00

atu bah...stats paper ah...gila x ah. Sasax berabz ku eeeeh. mcm, like, mcm....antah ehhh. Rasa cam kan ditampar muanya atu. antah mua siapa antah, nada ku duli. sasak ku lhhh. bah. vye. hit me vack. Jan lang pkul banaa2 ah. main2 saja waaaa tuu. k. cya~

If you actually managed to finish reading that, I congratulate you and thank you for staying with me through the pain of typing it out.

Yaaaa mam?

2008-08-08T20:24:00.002+08:00

ALERT" GRAPHICS OVERLOAD~!!!

Lets push the depressing posts down, and have a read on some meaningless posts instead!

This week has indeed been a very productive week for me, photoshop-ically. I made so many graphics in a short period of time, you wonder when I do all my homework. Guess what, I didn't do them. Yeah, way of stating the obvious XD

So here I am, in an attempt to avoid rants/complaints/emoness, I am going to show off some bunch of crap I made in my free and non-free time! :D

At this Ayu forum I'm in, some people would sometimes request graphics, and anyone can volunteer to make them. And recently, I've been making a lot of the requests.

Here they are. Call them an eyesore, call they awesome. Call them whatever, I'm just here to make a useless post!

And then there's some texture practice with some anime characters.

FANGIRL MODE: OMG MORI AND HARUHIII! <3 I would normally prefer Hikaru and Haruhi, but that picture is just soooooo....*GASP*

And then there were some preview pictures of Ayu's unreleased single covers, and the Mirrorcle World one is soooo amazing that I just had to make something.

I seriously wished Ayu had used this cover instead of the ones she did use.

After that, I was in a mood for downloading her old PVs, and what the hey, lets screencap and photoshop!

All textures and brushes are from www.celestial-star.net, except for a few. I need to dig my stuff to see where they are from XD

Yes folks, the animated sigs have made their way back! And now, we have reached the end of the meaningless post.

Oh no! Not another rant!

2008-08-02T20:37:00.003+08:00

Are scholarships the one and only way to make your parents proud? Does going overseas to study actually prove anything, other than "OMG so smart and so rich one this kid family!"? Is being a good child not enough? I have to admit, I do have some rough moments with my parents, but it's not like I've ever humiliated them or anything. Sure, I've disappointed them, but why must they have high hopes on me all the time? They would say, "it's for your own good". What's the real deal here? Is it because I'm their eldest child and I'm supposed to make all these efforts? Or is it because their friends' kids are better than me, and their dignity is basically crushed when they listen to their friends' stories?

My mother emphasised, "you must get a scholarship. A levels don't mean anything these days." See what I mean? And she continues, "Just three more steps to success, a Degree, a Master, and a PhD." I just don't know how to reply to that. They expect too much. It's probably a way for them to cope with their regrets in terms of their own education level, but why push so much on me?

They want me to have a secure future. Yes, I want that too. I'm not motivated to work hard for it, but I want to. I don't want to depend on my parents when they're supposed to depend on me in the future. But don't push me too hard, or else I'll fall off. (Okay, that was corny, but that's how I basically feel.)

I don't want to mature too soon, I still enjoy my responsibilities-free life. When I said I want to go to Peter Pan's Neverland, sometimes, I really mean it. And I'll bring my laptop with me and invent electricity over there.

You know what, I'm going to have to choose between photoshopping or doodling right now. I have to distract myself from life.

Yay. sob

2008-07-28T21:27:00.002+08:00

They got it.

I'm happy for them.

But I'm sad for myself.

Not the "OMG I'm the only one left behiiiind" sad but "now none of my classes have more than 20 students in it" sad. Especially Econs. Oh man, Econs. :,( I mean, I really am happy, but aside from the fact that being in the class alone with Ms. Jess is scary, it's going to be lonely. (<_<);

Econs will be one quiet class. I'm only noisy when there's someone else being noisy with me. I don't care much about the other classes because I'm pretty much a quiet person over there. But Econs... T___T

You know what, now that all/most of the good ones are being sent to UK, what's left of MS? I'm scared, because the teachers might just pressurize us more to achieve that so-called standard. D:

Hey dude, lets quit school.

Hello. I updated.

2008-07-25T15:11:00.002+08:00

OMG, why the hell is my blogger dashboard in MALAY? Well, at least I understood enough Malay to change the language back to English. Man, I hate standard Malay. =_____= I'm surprised they didn't spell "blog" as "belog" or any other uglified spelling.

This week has been a pretty...boring one. That's basically why I haven't been updating. Because if I did, I'd be ranting about the boredom and the stress caused by the boredom as well as other boredom and stress-related stuff. Besides, I am ohsolazy.

With all the lack of inspiration in my life, I didn't even bother to open Photoshop, which I would normally do when I'm bored. None of the things I made is working out T__T
But, today, I finally got up and tried to do a little something and the results are:

Flourish brush by Selenahearts@DA

OHNOES! It's Ayu! It's Shu-ya! It's AyuShuya!!! D:

I already filled my previous post with their faces, so I won't do it again or else I'd lose all the readers of my blog altogether. At least, not now. XD

My family has been going out quite a lot this week, but I didn't join in any of them. Other than the fact that I was lazy, I was also exhausted. They like going out at 7PM or 8PM, which is basically my time to cool down from all the work at school. I know my parents worked alonger and my sister comes home later from school than me, but still. I'm not all enthusiastic to go out and see the world, which is basically the same thing. x__x I hope they don't get the wrong impression or anything. I just love an evening INSIDE my house.

I love.

2008-07-15T23:10:00.005+08:00

School tomorrow. Muscle pains in arms and thighs. I hate homework.

Does it even matter anymore? I want to stop going to school, but well, parents and their expectations. "You must go to university >:O" Damn it. I know that if I stop, I couldn't be bothered to look for work, but if I continue this blah journey towards the highest level of edukation (ooohhh...ahhhh...), what happens if I don't have the willingness?

Teachers ask: What do you want to be?
Me: Oh, my mum wants me to be an economist, my dad hopes that I could have my own business. Teacher: What do you want to be?
Me: No frickin' idea.

You see, I don't plan my future. I hate planning stuff, organising and whatnot. When things don't turn out as planned, people get ugly. And I hate that. Hate is indeed a strong word, but that's exactly what I feel. I like thinking about the past though, very slow to move on. I'm weird like that, so don't bother.

I want to talk about lighter stuff now. Don't want to turn this one into another depressed one.

You see, I'm in love. Very much.

I am in love with...AyuShuya<3.

I love you too, Ayu.
Awu bah, I am just too pathetic for my own good. I can't help it. Besides, I am much more comfortable seeing two people fall in love rather than myself. God, that just sounds so voyeur-ish.

You see that? Even Shuya is laughing awkwardly. Sorry, man.

But they are just so sweet. You see, when I first got to know Ayu, the first PV that attracted me was My Name's WOMEN, wit Shuya looking all pretty and Ayu hot.

Yes, believe me, that is Shuya. With make-up on, obviously. The other male dancers too, but why would I even bother screencapping them? And yes, Ayu was about to kiss Shuya, except she decided to throw him off the stage when they were centimetres away from each other. HOT.

Technically, the first P I saw from Ayu was Rainy Day, but what do I care about some woman sitting on a bench, in the rain, singing to a dog? Maybe if the dog was Shuya, it would've been a different thing altogether.

Anyway, honestly, I didn't care about him much at that time, because my eyes were set on another dancer. Then, I accidentally found out about Shuya, like his name. And then I realised Shuya's been playing Ayu's lover quite a few times. During concerts, sometimes dancers get solos or main character, let's see. Mitsu got one in AT05 for Game and Naoto did a solo for Carols. Then in AT06, Naoto did another solo for Rainy Day. In both concerts, Shuya wasn't that...acknowledged yet? Although he did get special roles where there's only him and another dancer with Ayu. Getting closer XD

Suddenly, AT07, BOOM. Shuya got THREE lead roles. FIVE, if you consider the special screens. Taskinst---> Until That Day...--->Appears--->Part of me (plus special screen)

Oh hey, I photoshopped this! Haha. I want that scene, and they didn't have it. Might as well make one of my own! From the two screencaps below:

Sexy in Until that Day...

Romantic in appears.

Emotional in part of Me.

Other than that, he performed a solo for Fated twice, during a-nation and CDL 07-08. Fated became my faourite song because it reminds me of his solo. And in AT08, he has another solo, HANABI. My Ayu favourite even before I know he was going to do a solo.

Now, I know that even with all these, it's possible that their relationship is simply platonic and my feet are firmly on the ground. Maybe they're really close friends at most. O, who knows, long lost brother as fans have claimed they have similar facial features. Maybe Shuya was given so man roles because he is one of the main selling points nowadays as well. Since, from the screams during concerts, he got the loudest among the dancers. Besides, she might be accused of "pulling a britney" if she goes out with her dancer. But, I can keep on dreaming. Really.

I love you, Shuya.

I love you too, Ayu.

Let us run away now. Cheerio~

This is what you get for asking me to update, people. Haha. Ever wonder how I managed to skip from coplaining about life to swooning over Ayushuya? XD

You know what, this post is basically a repeat/summary/another point of view of this post.

I am very sorry.

2008-07-03T20:09:00.003+08:00

Ahhhh! It's breaking my heart! I went back into that Yamaki forum to grab all the chapters so that I can save them to my hard disc, as well as make a copy for Baz (if she's still interested anyway) and I just had to post a comment in that thread. The comment after that really made me feel bad. It was a comment by one of my readers (more like a friend<3)

If you don't feel like writing for now, then just don't force yourself. I mean, we love your fanfiction and many people wish to know how it will end, and I guess we all fell for these characters. But you know, as a reader and author, I respect the fact that for now you won't update, and maybe you'll never update, that's your personal choice. But remember that for the time you were writing, I really enjoyed it and I'll be still supporting you on your future works, Yamaki or not, fanfictions or not.

That was just part of her comment. You see, the thing is, I want to update! I just don't know how. I REALLY put the readers as my top priority, which is why I try to think the best way to continue the story (except for that one time where I only wrote for the sake of getting positive feedback, although it was only one chapter, I feel guilty). Unfortunately, I lost that ability.This is one of the reasons I stopped updating. All the ideas in my head are just way too boring. Besides that, I've been running away quite a few times, but I always came back with good chapters. But not anymore, it seems. I even apologised every time I came back, only to disappear again.

If this is how I am going to run a business in the future, I better not. I give the best service/goods to my consumers, until I finally run out of ideas, and then I'll run away? Then I come back churning out low-quality goods just for the heck of it? I think not.

You may think I'm taking all these too seriously. I am, honestly. But I have good reason for that. The people there have appreciated my effort, and they were hoping for me to continue until the end. I just feel so bad for leaving all those behind just like that. I did think about it though, who knows, maybe they were saying it for the sake of saying it. But I just want to believe that they really meant it, so that it will in some ways make me feel better.

I can't say I love YamaKi as much as I used to, I have to admit that. But that forum introduced me to more than YamaKi. I found new friends through my stories as well as others. You know what, I might forget about this soon and cheer up. And then, few months later I will remember and get all cheesy again.

I love you guys. <3

hcskjhaskj

2008-06-27T19:49:00.003+08:00

This is the school holidays. 3 more days left. 2, in fact. Damn. I hate countdowns.

I need a friend right now. I need someone who can reassure me that it's alright. That everything is going to be fine. That I won't be killed by my teachers for not finishing my homeworks just yet. D:

I thought you're suppose to rest during holidays. And that purpose is lost when you have so-called concerned teachers who just want the best for you when they dump all those assignments on you. This, my friends, is the fate of the future leaders. Yeah, whatever that means.

I dooooooon't want to do my homework. I don't have the mood to do my homework. I can't force myself to do my homework. Damn rants.

So which is it you want to hear, lame excuses or unacceptable reasons?

I used to.

2008-06-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

I used to be crazy about YamaKi. That's short for Yamapi+Maki. Both are j-actors. I used to be in this forum dedicated to that pairing. I used to write this fanfiction about them. I never completed that fanfiction. It was called "Tick, tock. I still love you". I know it sounds mushy, but that was when I was still in my "jiwang" and "japaneeeze ish kawaii~! (^___^)Y" state. That was last year.

Few weeks back, I stumbled across that forum again. People were still commenting on my story. I was happy, yet on the dark side, I was suddenly obsessed with the amount of praises they were giving me. And I felt like I wanted more. So I wrote another chapter. And people loved it, but I didn't because I realised that that chapter didn't come from the bottom of my heart. So again, I stopped until now.

Today, I went to the forum again. I read the comments for all 11 chapters I wrote. I was touched because the readers genuinely loved my story for what it is. I wanted, I desperately wanted to continue that story, just for the readers, but I don't have any inspiration on what to write.

(mainly about) 2nd Brunei Interschool Kendo Workshop

2008-06-25T16:01:00.004+08:00

I have no idea how to start this post. Probably with this, OMG I'm in the newspaper! DD: It was for the LiveWIRE thing. I didn't really care, but damn, a lot of people noticed. Haha. Many of them went, "I SAW YOU IN THE PAPER." It made me realise that people actually read the newspaper. Wow.

Secondly, the awesome Kendo workshop male kendoka from our school showed up. His name is Hafiz. Thanks, kiddo! (He has a nickname now. It's Chip. Because he looks like a chipmunk. Riku and I unofficially adopted him ) Ramzul is not taken into account because he only attended the workshop for one day.

Since a few days have passed, the "excitement and enthusiasm" to talk about it is gone, but I definitely miss those three days. Let me see if I can actually remember.

I met a lot of new people, most of them PAP Masna girls. (Don't get me wrong, Riku XDDD) Also the Belait kendokas. Speaking of which, Riku, Hafiz and ! had lunch at Excapade with two of them, Raion and Zul a.k.a Kyozen (as to not confuse between him and Zool-senpai) Riku dubbed the lunch Brunei-Belait Kendoka Bonding Moment! Yeah, so there were only five of us. Consider us as representatives from the two districts.

Another bright side of this workshop was that I also get to meet the kendokas I haven't seen a long loooong time. Mainly due to my absence in the dojo. Haha. Sure, my fault. Edie (I still haven't figured out the spelling to his name), Adelyn, Raito, Adee/Adi/D (another name I'm not sure with)...(siapa lagi ah? XD) Far was there too. She just dropped by though, as she has to go to work. T___T

As usual, we were divided into groups. I... don't really remember what we did. XD We were mainly doing the basics, like ashi sabaki and the cuts, as well as the dojo etiquettes(Yes, I spelled that WITHOUT the spell checker MUAHAHA). Actually, I'm surprised to see that some of them still step over the shinais when passing. D:

We did kata in the afternoon session. We did ipponme kata. I've learnt that COUNTLESS times already, although I have actually forgotten how to do it in the beginning of the year, but I did quite fine, I guess. We were taught kata #2 and #3 on the last day, by a senpai whom I shall only refer to as "Rimba guy"-senpai. *rolls eyes* I forgot wah, you see. He call me "MS girl" bah, you see. I got annoyed bah, you see. You not annoyed, issit? I berry annoyed like strawberry, you see. I berry lame, oso, you see. You still not annoyed, issit?

The highlight of the day (of all 3 days, in fact) was the kendo war. More known as Sponge Shinai war. Less known as Sponge war, for fear of being confused with the sponges you use to clean your dishes, as well as to avoid copyright issues with Spongebob Squarepants. It's basically the best part of the workshop, the most-awaited. It would start with two groups battling against each other, bogu-less, armed with shinais/bokkens made of sponge so that the impact of the hit won't be as big. You get knocked out of the game by being hit on the head ('men' cut), wrists ('kote' cut) and abdomen ('Do' cut). But you see, in the real fight, rules were basically ignored. Like me, I got bruises on my cheeks, my upper arms and my back. They friggin bashed. No one-on-one fights. Heck, I had to face 4-5 guys on my own sometimes. The winning team is the team with the most survivors. Then, the winning team will fight against the seniors. As in, you know, THE seniors. The juniors obviously outnumbered the seniors, like a 1:5 ratio, I think. But we lost on the first day, The seniors just hit their way through us. On the second day...we decided to cheat. Instead of a one-on-one, we decided to go ten-on-one. It was no longer war. It was BULLYING. And oh boy, did we have fun. XD Same goes to the third day, except on the third day, there was one final battle where nobody gets knocked out/dies. You can go crazy and hit as much as you like. At least I think that was it, because that's what I did. XD

And there we go. I didn't take any pictures, too lazy to take out my phone. So, I decided to it the slacker's way and steal pictures from others. And eevn then I couldn't be bothered to show all. Haha. Here are the group photos (of course with me in it XD)

All stolen taken from bruneikendo.blogspot.com, uploaded by various people (see, at least I credit, even though I have no idea who uploaded which XD)