the NEXT LEVEL is here.

LONG AYU-FILLED POST. You may only scroll through, if not interested. butdon'tleavemealone. Where's my 'roflmao' icon?! D:

So, remember when I mentioned that I ordered Hamasaki Ayumi's latest album, NEXT LEVEL, last few weeks? It's finally here! I just asked my friend casually about it, and turns out it was already here since last Saturday, and she forgot to tell me. Right. I was wondering whether it got lost in the mail or something all this time, and she had the heart to forget. T___T

Anyway, it's here. It's was released last month, and download links were floating all over AHS, and the temptation to just download was soooo great. But, hey, I managed to pull through and survived today. XD

There seems to be a mix up in the order. The version I wanted was the CD+DVD, and the first press special is a blue CD casing. Somehow, when it arrived, it was the 2CD+DVD version! Which means I have to pay an extra $10 for it. The good thing about the that version is it is a limited first press only, and I have an extra CD which contains the audio from her Premium CDL 2008-2009. The BAD thing is, the first press special is a PINK case! Oh the horrorz to have it displayed on my cd shelf. And I paid $79.40 for THAT. D:

I watched it once I got home. I watched her PVs that I didn't download. I have to say...boring. I think the only one I really liked was 'Sparkle'. It's actually a pretty weird PV, with an excessively cute Ayu in a gaudy dress complete with the puffy sleeves, and an excessively sexy Ayu in a red catsuit. (The making showed that she was actually having a hard time walking in it, lol)

Here are a few screencaps (credits to eneabba.net) of excessively cute Ayu and excessively sexy Ayu.

It was obviously a parody of some sort. Ayu was even laughing at herself in the making. It's true that in real life Ayu has both these images, cute and sexy, just not to the extreme as shown in the PV, lol. The song itself is actually leaning more towards the sexy type, so the cutesy Ayu singing it didn't really make much sense. XD

The other two PVs that I haven't watch was NEXT LEVEL and Curtain Call. Both songs are the soothing type, but the PVs are pretty monotonous, lack of variety of scenes and clothes. NEXT LEVEL just features her driving a convertible on a highway, although she looks really pretty there! Curtain Call is reminiscent of Pride, "a diva in a PV" storyline but she looks less glamarous here, even walking barefooted across the hollywood set. It was even her own suggestion to walk without shoes, and cut half the gown off so that people can see. It originally had a mermaid tail, and ow without it, she looks so simple, which I think is the look she was going for.

From the making:

Final cut:

That's it with the DVD. And now, the songs. I don't feel like talking about any except for these two songs, which made me totally forgot about the rest and they are identity and LOVE 'n' HATE.

Both songs' music and arrangement were done by Yuta Nakano, and this guy is amazing at mixing orchestra and rock, evident in talkin' 2 myself (which I happen to love as well) and LOVE 'n' HATE especially. You should just listen to it, I love'em.

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 「0」

(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo
(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo

I knew from the start
That it's really impossible
Even so ...

I only wated to dream
That my dream would come true
Just for a moment

* I took the courage to approach you
Because I wanted to be loved by you
But I stayed as far as I could from you
Because I didn't want to be disliked by you

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 「0」

It must be true
That you should not behave
Unlike yourself

I'm surprised myself
That this wound seems deeper
Than I thought

** Just because I love you
It would be the best way for me to disappear
If I could hate you
I would rather be better off

The counting voice for the start and the end
Sounds heartlessly
The answer you gave
Is too tender to me
It makes me sad and feel pain

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo
(hahahaha) NoNo NoNo

1 2 3 4 「3」「2」「1」「0」

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Hey, you there
Who take the trouble to share time and space with someone else
To cover for your loneliness
With a neutral conversation or something
But have become even lonelier

However skillfully you may decorate yourself
You can't match the truth
You know?

To confront directly in spite of my bitter experinces
Is my ID, ID, ID, ID

It's not important how I'm viewed
What I need is how I should be

Hey, you there
Who just force your opinion on someone else
Saying that you are thinking of him or something
With a look that you have done something good
Just for your self-satisfaction

However skillfully you may decorate yourself
Your real intention is easily seen
Don't you notice?

Not to be able to say yes cleverly to everything
Is my ID, ID, ID, ID

*It's not important how I want to be thought of
What I want to keep is how I want to be

What I need is how I should be
What I want to keep is how I want to be

(translation credits: masa)

As a conclusion (woohoo), the album is pretty mediocre, but a few songs definitely saved it.

I won't be ordering anymore stuff as of now. I really need to get my consumer rationalism to come back to me, now that this is over. Haha. I plan, any other things that I want, I will only buy if I see it by chance. (Which rarely happens in Brunei, so lets hope I could go to Singapore again! XD)

What a toughie.

Just so you know, I feel so much better since my last post. Shit happens. Oh well. I'm in a new dilemma right now, which is the May/June exams. But I don't feel like bitching about it.

Why?

Because, after all the stress, comes the next phase. The "I don't care" phase. So yeah, as of the moment, I couldn't care less.

I'm just happily listening to Ayu and LP while I do my photoshop thang.

TTYL! <33

My problems and I.

You know what. I'm tired. I really tired of feeling so frustrated. I'm frustrated at so many things that if you ask me what is wrong with me, I'd be at loss of words.

If you ask me how I am doing, I would say that I'm fine. Because most of the time I won't even be thinking of the problems, unless something provokes it.

Sometimes I think my problems are nonexistent. Sometimes I think I exaggerate too much.

But then, when I talk to someone about it, I realised just how serious my problems can really be.

I probably need a counselor, but what happens if they just dismiss my problems? I'm actually pretty scared of that possibility. I'm not seriously thinking of seeing one, but yeah. Some have already suggested it. I'm not sure if I should take them seriously or not.

I don't want to go to school. But if I'm stuck at home, I would have almost nothing to do. Except, I would probably churn out graphic after graphic, nonstop. That normally relieves my stress, but at the same time, definitely not a healthy activity.

See, the costs and benefits of each action I take (excuse the economics reference) itself is making me more frustrated.

I just hope one day I will wake up and all this will go away.

First step for now would probably be stop listening to all Linkin Park songs.

Yes. In the process of doing that. However, while I try to shift from Linkin Park to Ayu again, I forgot about Ayu's emo songs! Ah. Oh well. I guess I'll listen to them for awhile.

LP: Reconnected

I used to be a really big Linkin Park fan back in 2005-2006, my "Emo" era. Well, not black-eyeliner, wrist-slitting emo, but I was 14, a very insecure adolescent searching for her place in life. Haha. Yeah, somewhere along to those lines. Linkin Park was my stress-reliever, and I borrowed a pirated version of Meteora which my cousin had (and lost).

But now, so many years have passed and I haven't listened to a single Linkin Park song since then. I drifted away from them, and discovered JPOP. A totally different vibe from the hard sounds of LP.

Anyway, when I was in KK, I saw this.

Linkin Park's Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes.

At first, I was wondering whether I should buy it or not. I mean, I've been disconnected from them for so long, and I wasn't really fond of 'What I've Done'. I thought they softened up too much for 'Minutes to Midnight' and wasn't sure whether this DVD is worth to buy or not. But, I ended up paying RM49.90 for it anyway.

And guess what? I'm in love with them all over again. I listened to other Minutes to Midnight songs that they performed, and damn, I regret not buying that album when I saw it in Singapore! I'm even beginning to love their softer songs, like 'Leave Out All The Rest", "The Little Things You Gave Away", etc. Besides, my all-time favourites were sang too. 'One Step Closer' was such an awesome opening. And 'papercut' turned out to be one of the hidden contents, and I was so happy!

My favourite song from Minutes to Midnight is most definitely 'Bleed it Out'.

I bleed it out, take it deeper
just to throw it away
I bleed it out, take it deeper
just to throw it away
just to throw it away

Please, just ignore that messy pile of DVDs you see.

Besides, I've been feeling a little bit to stressed with life in general since the past few days, and seeing Chester screaming it all out the way I wish I could just consoles me.

The next time I go to a huge CD store, I'll be sure to be on the look out for Meteora and Minutes to Midnight, and probably Fort Minor's 'The Rising Tied' as well. I use to own a pirated version of it, but then again, original versions were really scarce in Brunei at that time, right? Now, I believe in supporting the artists I love by purchasing the original ones.

Which is why I spent almost $200 on Ayu's albums and DVDs last time. :/