Lonely star

You know, if there's one song from Hamasaki Ayumi that I can never get tired of listening to for the longest time, it's Memorial address. It's not your typical ballad nor pop song coming from who they dub "Empress of JPOP". (Honestly, I don't really like that title on her.) But I tell you, this is one of the more emotional songs she has ever written. Yes, hello, she writes her own lyrics. Ever since the beginning of her career, until now, 10 years later.

They say don't judge a book by its cover. It totally applies here. Don't think that just because Ayu dyes her hair blonde, wears expensive brands (D&G, Christian Loboutin, LV) and acts all ditzy, doesn't mean she's superficial and shallow. Her father left when she was two. She was raised by her grandmother and her mother allowed her to lead a rather carefree lifestyle. She dropped out of high school, went into a short-lived modeling and acting career, before being discovered by her current manager. So basically, she had exposure to "life" as an adult knows it at a very young age.

Anyway, I am generalising too much here. XD I was supposed to only talk about Memorial address. After asking around, I found out that Memorial address is basically addressing a tragic event, or something. I'm trying to simplify here. lol. And that definition is really appropriate here as it has been rumored that the song is dedicated to her deceased father. (Even whether her dad is dead or alive is still a rumour).

The above picture is a simple thing I made from screencaps of the live performance that made me fall in love with her and the song. She was so emotional performing that song that she even missed a line in the beginning! First time I watched it, I got goosebumps.

The lyrics were about her being in denial of someone's death.

You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting

Despite being in denial, she can't help but feel the sorrow and pain. And as time passed, she began to accept it, the sadness begins to show in other forms as well.

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year

By the end of the song, she calms down again, and turns out that she was still in denial.

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake

Those are basically my favourite lyrics of the song. I also love how the melody starts out soft, only with piano as the background. By the second verse, the guitars came in suddenly. Maybe representing her outburst? And then, at the last two lines, the one that I posted above, the piano starts again, going back into the soft melody. I don't know, man. Just ignore me. I suck at intrepretations.

Here's the song. I do hope you'll listen to it. (Come on, it's good thing I'm not putting it on auto-play.)

(By the way, they labeled the wrong album here. It's supposed to be Memorial address, not MY STORY. And I don't know who that girl in the picture is :X)

And the performance that made me fell in love with it?

Memorial address
Hamasaki Ayumi

munasawagi to tomo ni nemuri ni tsuita yofuke
totemo kanashii yume o miteita no o oboeteru
sono asa yokan wa chinmoku o yaburu youni
naridashita denwa de genjitsu no mono to natta
kokoro ni kienai kizuato o nokoshita mama
anata wa hitori hoshi ni natta

sayonara ne mou nido to aenai basho e itta none
eien no wakare no tsumetasa o uketomerarezu ni
kikasete hoshikatta uso de kamawanai kara
atashi wa anata ni tashika ni aisareteita tte
tatta ichido de ii kara

owarinaki hazu no kanashimi wa maku o tojite
kisetsu mo kawatte samusa ga yake ni mi ni shimiru kedo
are wa wasure mo shinai natsu no hajimari no hi de
atashi no kawari ni kotoshi wa sora ga nakitsuzuketa
datte amari ni mo yume no tsuzuki no you de
mada naku koto sae mo dekinai mama

sayonara ne saigo no kotoba sae todokanai
wakare no tsumetasa o iya tte hodo omoishirasareru
kikasete hoshikatta no uso de kamawanai kara
sugoshita ano hi o kuyandari shite nai n datte
tatta ichido de ii kara

doushite souyatte saigo no saigo made nee
omoide dake o oiteku no

sayonara ne mou nido to aenai basho e itta none
eien no wakare no tsumetasa o uketomerarezu ni
kikasete hoshikatta uso de kamawanai kara
atashi wa anata ni tashika ni aisareteita tte
tatta ichido de ii kara

kore wa tada no yume no tsuzuki no monogatari de
atashi wa mada me ga sametenai dake to itte

I remember I went to sleep late that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the premonition became a reality
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself

*Sayonara --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream
And I can't even cry now

Sayonara --- Even my last words don't reach you
I'm made to realize the coldness of the parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie

Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end?

(*) repeat

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake

Translation by masa