Monday, February 12, 2007
R.I.P Mama-chan and Shiro-chan
I can not believe I am crying right now. This is the first time I'm crying over a death, as in really, really crying. Both my cats are dead, Mama-chan and Shiro-chan.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Lollercopter.
My autistic brother is such a sadist. Really. He enjoys abusing his fingers by 'kapit'-ing it between doors, he enjoys getting his arms pinched (by others) and he enjoys gaining the symphaty from it. Everytime after crushing his fingers and stuff, he'll come to ME (yes, me) ONLY. Not my mum, not my dad, not the others. No, I am not happy with the honour of blowing at his fingers. Oh, did I mention that when he abuses himself, all he does is laugh? Yeah. And he'll be even happier if I apply lotion on it. He even took the lotion himself. WTF..
I am just amazed by the creativity of his mind on how to gain attention. Well, at least, he doesn't bang his head or step on his little brother or bite his arm anymore. The scar is still there too, as he's been biting his arm whenever he gets angry since who knows when. Sometime ago, he even likes to smash bottles, yes only bottles, regardless of what they're made of, and then run away laughing. Most of the time, the bottles happen to be mine. Which is why, currently, EVERYTHING in my room is sealed away from his eyes. Except for some unavoidable stuff. Like my bed...cupboard.
And I thought having this brother is troublesome enough, but then, when I listened to my maid's stories, whoa. There happens to be this other kid (obviously autistic), at my brother's school who abuses himself more than my brother. Every single day, whenever he arrives ata school, the first thing he wants to do is swimming. But since his maid doesn't want him to 'masuk angin', of course he wasn't allowed to. And because of that, he bangs and scratches his head like hell, and cry, of course. He also has a huge wound due to the scratching and banging. His maid who is small and frail, almost 60, can do nothing more but ask others for help. I tell you, he has a VERY VERY strong grip. Even my maid, who is much younger and stronger than his, can not stand him. I really pity this people. Moreover, the father of the boy doesn't want anyone else to scream/shout/threaten him except for the father himslef. And the mother LOVES the son very much, preventing further 'development for the better' to occur. SIGH
Sometimes i'm even confused of my brother's sense of pain. Like I said, he used to bite himself, bang his head, and currently likes to pinch his arms, but all he does is laugh. Yeah, laugh. My maid even once said that he stepped on glass, without the slightest pain. But he's very very scared of hot and sharp stuff. Like knives, fire. Which is why, at his school, during activity time, which required them to cook some simple food, he'd go away cowering in the corner. Refusing to go anywhere near heat. And since he likes cold, he gets the idea that if he switches off his lights when he's in his room, he gets an even cooler feel. I have always been wondering of where he got that idea from. I mean, it did get cooler when the lights are off, right?
GO GO BRAIN POWER
Random fact about my brother: HE FEARS HIS YOUNGER BROTHER.
Ok, not exactly a random fact, 'cos almost all of us fears our youngest brother. He is so nasty. He dares to bite and hit people. For fun. OMG MY FAMILY IS FILLED WITH SADISTIC PEOPLE. *cough*likeme*cough*
I am just amazed by the creativity of his mind on how to gain attention. Well, at least, he doesn't bang his head or step on his little brother or bite his arm anymore. The scar is still there too, as he's been biting his arm whenever he gets angry since who knows when. Sometime ago, he even likes to smash bottles, yes only bottles, regardless of what they're made of, and then run away laughing. Most of the time, the bottles happen to be mine. Which is why, currently, EVERYTHING in my room is sealed away from his eyes. Except for some unavoidable stuff. Like my bed...cupboard.
And I thought having this brother is troublesome enough, but then, when I listened to my maid's stories, whoa. There happens to be this other kid (obviously autistic), at my brother's school who abuses himself more than my brother. Every single day, whenever he arrives ata school, the first thing he wants to do is swimming. But since his maid doesn't want him to 'masuk angin', of course he wasn't allowed to. And because of that, he bangs and scratches his head like hell, and cry, of course. He also has a huge wound due to the scratching and banging. His maid who is small and frail, almost 60, can do nothing more but ask others for help. I tell you, he has a VERY VERY strong grip. Even my maid, who is much younger and stronger than his, can not stand him. I really pity this people. Moreover, the father of the boy doesn't want anyone else to scream/shout/threaten him except for the father himslef. And the mother LOVES the son very much, preventing further 'development for the better' to occur. SIGH
Sometimes i'm even confused of my brother's sense of pain. Like I said, he used to bite himself, bang his head, and currently likes to pinch his arms, but all he does is laugh. Yeah, laugh. My maid even once said that he stepped on glass, without the slightest pain. But he's very very scared of hot and sharp stuff. Like knives, fire. Which is why, at his school, during activity time, which required them to cook some simple food, he'd go away cowering in the corner. Refusing to go anywhere near heat. And since he likes cold, he gets the idea that if he switches off his lights when he's in his room, he gets an even cooler feel. I have always been wondering of where he got that idea from. I mean, it did get cooler when the lights are off, right?
GO GO BRAIN POWER
Random fact about my brother: HE FEARS HIS YOUNGER BROTHER.
Ok, not exactly a random fact, 'cos almost all of us fears our youngest brother. He is so nasty. He dares to bite and hit people. For fun. OMG MY FAMILY IS FILLED WITH SADISTIC PEOPLE. *cough*likeme*cough*
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Ittai~
Pure, 100% pain on my legs after today's circuit training. I think they're gonna hurt more tomorrow. I am so sure. And we have A.Maths test tommorow. *sigh* Today, we had completed four tests, Bio, MIB, Chem and PE fitness test (or something like that). Bio was okay, I mean, I didn't expect it to be as hard as they said, but I'm not saying that I'll be getting good marks for it since I didn't revise that much, I slept half-way through. (NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT REVISE ON BED) Just answered the questions by memory. Or what was left of it. MIB was full of crap. We had to write two essays and both of them were very very....gah crappy. PE, like I said, the circuit training, which consist of shuttle runs, body curls, push-ups, sit-ups, squatting and lunges which tortues my legs more than ever. We had Chem test half-an-hour after that and obviously, I didn't give it a 100% effort. Seriously, I was mentally and physically tired. We had to climb three storeys up. I was lucky to even be able to stand. I wouldn't be surprised if I failed Chem, or even bio for that matter, and also maths D! Gahhhhh. OK, at least i passed Economics. (92.5% baby!) But. But. Oh well, looking at the bright side, we only have three more teststo go. Oh crap. What. Three more? This is really stressing. At least during the exams they don't cram everything up in one day! *soB8 and I also have a story to finish. *sobsob*
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I can't stand it
Really, really can't. I cannot stand another minute of studying. Which is why right now I am in front of the PC. I know tommorow we have three tests, but I decided to rest my brain before I go nuts. Yeah, after only half an hour fo studying. Heck, I wasn't even studying I was just......"shortening" some chem notes while daydreaming. I was practically dragging my pen around on the paper...doodling...scribbling...those stuff ya'know. Ant then, when i was just about to start on bio, (sorry to say, sir) I was truly in no mood to study at all. Seriously, there are so many topics to read and understand....I know I should've started my revisions earlier..butbutbut.. just can't. In the end, I just witched on my laptop and watched Tsubasa no Oreta Tenshitachi, just to note down some japanese phrases. YES, SUDDENLY I WAS IN THE MOOD TO STUDY. The language of course. The language. After that, I am finally here. In front of the PC. Gosh, I feel so guilty leaving the textbooks behind....but I just can not flip through another page. Maybe I will after this, after regaining some energy and mood. Yeah, like it or not, it's either studying or harakiri. haha wish me luck
Oh yeah, I NEED A JOB. I really really do. Why? BEcause I am really really tired of asking my dad for money. I am really really tired of listening to my mum complaining when I asked her for money. Moreover, dad has already spent over a $100 for me, just for this year. And it's only Feb. ALl those money for comics, kendo stuff...gahh. And there's this new comic I want to buy. Obviously, I WILL NOT ask Dad for money. On that faithful day, I went to Best Eastern adn saw Zig Zag. OF COURSE I WANT TO BUY ITTTTTT. BUt no, I just had to resist the temptation until I get back home where I can beat up my closet as usual. Seriously, I just can;t open my mouth to ask dad for money. I almost run out of my own savings too. SOemtimes dad forgot to give me my lunch money..so I would usually end up using my own money and therefore it is running out. Currently, I have less than $10 in the piggy bank. I did tell my dad this afternoon that I need a job, a part-time job (and I was serious about it) and he said I can just wash the cars every weekend, $2 per car. And we have 4 cars...so basically, in a month, I can earn $32!! Oh sweet sweet comics, here I come. But then, my dad says, "Don't worry. Just focus on studying. Money, babah saja uruskan." I was thinking like...waaaait. That somehow tells me that I can't buy comics since he's the one managing the money. Or does it mean I can ask for money anytime I want as long as I get good grades? Errr....it was confusing. After that, he offered to buy me easi, some drinks...food...which I rejected since before that I made a promise to myslef that I will not ask money for unnecesarry things (EXCLUDING COMICS). The thing is, I haven't paid my school fees and I know that is an IMPORTANT thing. But I really don't know how to ask. I really don't wanna see that undescribable look onmy dad's face. GAHHHH see why I need a job now??????? But the again, even if do have a job...who'd wanna hire me? And time management? Psssh. O levels. Gah.
SOmetimes I wish I was a 5-years-old again, so that whenever I don;t get anything I want I can just I can just wail and whine and scream and lie on the floor without any humiliation. I mean, c'mon, after observing my sis...one teardrop gave her a huge set of toys. WTF is thatttt??? It pisses me off, not because of jealousy...but because of ruining to so-called happy family trip, because it gies my parents the "bad mood". Sheesh.
Oh yeah, I NEED A JOB. I really really do. Why? BEcause I am really really tired of asking my dad for money. I am really really tired of listening to my mum complaining when I asked her for money. Moreover, dad has already spent over a $100 for me, just for this year. And it's only Feb. ALl those money for comics, kendo stuff...gahh. And there's this new comic I want to buy. Obviously, I WILL NOT ask Dad for money. On that faithful day, I went to Best Eastern adn saw Zig Zag. OF COURSE I WANT TO BUY ITTTTTT. BUt no, I just had to resist the temptation until I get back home where I can beat up my closet as usual. Seriously, I just can;t open my mouth to ask dad for money. I almost run out of my own savings too. SOemtimes dad forgot to give me my lunch money..so I would usually end up using my own money and therefore it is running out. Currently, I have less than $10 in the piggy bank. I did tell my dad this afternoon that I need a job, a part-time job (and I was serious about it) and he said I can just wash the cars every weekend, $2 per car. And we have 4 cars...so basically, in a month, I can earn $32!! Oh sweet sweet comics, here I come. But then, my dad says, "Don't worry. Just focus on studying. Money, babah saja uruskan." I was thinking like...waaaait. That somehow tells me that I can't buy comics since he's the one managing the money. Or does it mean I can ask for money anytime I want as long as I get good grades? Errr....it was confusing. After that, he offered to buy me easi, some drinks...food...which I rejected since before that I made a promise to myslef that I will not ask money for unnecesarry things (EXCLUDING COMICS). The thing is, I haven't paid my school fees and I know that is an IMPORTANT thing. But I really don't know how to ask. I really don't wanna see that undescribable look onmy dad's face. GAHHHH see why I need a job now??????? But the again, even if do have a job...who'd wanna hire me? And time management? Psssh. O levels. Gah.
SOmetimes I wish I was a 5-years-old again, so that whenever I don;t get anything I want I can just I can just wail and whine and scream and lie on the floor without any humiliation. I mean, c'mon, after observing my sis...one teardrop gave her a huge set of toys. WTF is thatttt??? It pisses me off, not because of jealousy...but because of ruining to so-called happy family trip, because it gies my parents the "bad mood". Sheesh.
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