They got it.
I'm happy for them.
But I'm sad for myself.
Not the "OMG I'm the only one left behiiiind" sad but "now none of my classes have more than 20 students in it" sad. Especially Econs. Oh man, Econs. :,( I mean, I really am happy, but aside from the fact that being in the class alone with Ms. Jess is scary, it's going to be lonely. (<_<);
Econs will be one quiet class. I'm only noisy when there's someone else being noisy with me. I don't care much about the other classes because I'm pretty much a quiet person over there. But Econs... T___T
You know what, now that all/most of the good ones are being sent to UK, what's left of MS? I'm scared, because the teachers might just pressurize us more to achieve that so-called standard. D:
Hey dude, lets quit school.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Hello. I updated.
OMG, why the hell is my blogger dashboard in MALAY? Well, at least I understood enough Malay to change the language back to English. Man, I hate standard Malay. =_____= I'm surprised they didn't spell "blog" as "belog" or any other uglified spelling.
This week has been a pretty...boring one. That's basically why I haven't been updating. Because if I did, I'd be ranting about the boredom and the stress caused by the boredom as well as other boredom and stress-related stuff. Besides, I am ohsolazy.
With all the lack of inspiration in my life, I didn't even bother to open Photoshop, which I would normally do when I'm bored. None of the things I made is working out T__T
But, today, I finally got up and tried to do a little something and the results are:
Flourish brush by Selenahearts@DA
OHNOES! It's Ayu! It's Shu-ya! It's AyuShuya!!! D:
I already filled my previous post with their faces, so I won't do it again or else I'd lose all the readers of my blog altogether. At least, not now. XD
My family has been going out quite a lot this week, but I didn't join in any of them. Other than the fact that I was lazy, I was also exhausted. They like going out at 7PM or 8PM, which is basically my time to cool down from all the work at school. I know my parents worked alonger and my sister comes home later from school than me, but still. I'm not all enthusiastic to go out and see the world, which is basically the same thing. x__x I hope they don't get the wrong impression or anything. I just love an evening INSIDE my house.
This week has been a pretty...boring one. That's basically why I haven't been updating. Because if I did, I'd be ranting about the boredom and the stress caused by the boredom as well as other boredom and stress-related stuff. Besides, I am ohsolazy.
With all the lack of inspiration in my life, I didn't even bother to open Photoshop, which I would normally do when I'm bored. None of the things I made is working out T__T
But, today, I finally got up and tried to do a little something and the results are:
Flourish brush by Selenahearts@DA
OHNOES! It's Ayu! It's Shu-ya! It's AyuShuya!!! D:
I already filled my previous post with their faces, so I won't do it again or else I'd lose all the readers of my blog altogether. At least, not now. XD
My family has been going out quite a lot this week, but I didn't join in any of them. Other than the fact that I was lazy, I was also exhausted. They like going out at 7PM or 8PM, which is basically my time to cool down from all the work at school. I know my parents worked alonger and my sister comes home later from school than me, but still. I'm not all enthusiastic to go out and see the world, which is basically the same thing. x__x I hope they don't get the wrong impression or anything. I just love an evening INSIDE my house.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I love.
School tomorrow. Muscle pains in arms and thighs. I hate homework.
Does it even matter anymore? I want to stop going to school, but well, parents and their expectations. "You must go to university >:O" Damn it. I know that if I stop, I couldn't be bothered to look for work, but if I continue this blah journey towards the highest level of edukation (ooohhh...ahhhh...), what happens if I don't have the willingness?
Teachers ask: What do you want to be?
Me: Oh, my mum wants me to be an economist, my dad hopes that I could have my own business. Teacher: What do you want to be?
Me: No frickin' idea.
You see, I don't plan my future. I hate planning stuff, organising and whatnot. When things don't turn out as planned, people get ugly. And I hate that. Hate is indeed a strong word, but that's exactly what I feel. I like thinking about the past though, very slow to move on. I'm weird like that, so don't bother.
I want to talk about lighter stuff now. Don't want to turn this one into another depressed one.
You see, I'm in love. Very much.
I am in love with...AyuShuya<3.
I love you too, Ayu.
Awu bah, I am just too pathetic for my own good. I can't help it. Besides, I am much more comfortable seeing two people fall in love rather than myself. God, that just sounds so voyeur-ish.
You see that? Even Shuya is laughing awkwardly. Sorry, man.
But they are just so sweet. You see, when I first got to know Ayu, the first PV that attracted me was My Name's WOMEN, wit Shuya looking all pretty and Ayu hot.
Yes, believe me, that is Shuya. With make-up on, obviously. The other male dancers too, but why would I even bother screencapping them? And yes, Ayu was about to kiss Shuya, except she decided to throw him off the stage when they were centimetres away from each other. HOT.
Technically, the first P I saw from Ayu was Rainy Day, but what do I care about some woman sitting on a bench, in the rain, singing to a dog? Maybe if the dog was Shuya, it would've been a different thing altogether.
Anyway, honestly, I didn't care about him much at that time, because my eyes were set on another dancer. Then, I accidentally found out about Shuya, like his name. And then I realised Shuya's been playing Ayu's lover quite a few times. During concerts, sometimes dancers get solos or main character, let's see. Mitsu got one in AT05 for Game and Naoto did a solo for Carols. Then in AT06, Naoto did another solo for Rainy Day. In both concerts, Shuya wasn't that...acknowledged yet? Although he did get special roles where there's only him and another dancer with Ayu. Getting closer XD
Suddenly, AT07, BOOM. Shuya got THREE lead roles. FIVE, if you consider the special screens. Taskinst---> Until That Day...--->Appears--->Part of me (plus special screen)
Oh hey, I photoshopped this! Haha. I want that scene, and they didn't have it. Might as well make one of my own! From the two screencaps below:
Sexy in Until that Day...
Romantic in appears.
Emotional in part of Me.
Other than that, he performed a solo for Fated twice, during a-nation and CDL 07-08. Fated became my faourite song because it reminds me of his solo. And in AT08, he has another solo, HANABI. My Ayu favourite even before I know he was going to do a solo.
Now, I know that even with all these, it's possible that their relationship is simply platonic and my feet are firmly on the ground. Maybe they're really close friends at most. O, who knows, long lost brother as fans have claimed they have similar facial features. Maybe Shuya was given so man roles because he is one of the main selling points nowadays as well. Since, from the screams during concerts, he got the loudest among the dancers. Besides, she might be accused of "pulling a britney" if she goes out with her dancer. But, I can keep on dreaming. Really.
I love you, Shuya.
I love you too, Ayu.
Let us run away now. Cheerio~
This is what you get for asking me to update, people. Haha. Ever wonder how I managed to skip from coplaining about life to swooning over Ayushuya? XD
You know what, this post is basically a repeat/summary/another point of view of this post.
Does it even matter anymore? I want to stop going to school, but well, parents and their expectations. "You must go to university >:O" Damn it. I know that if I stop, I couldn't be bothered to look for work, but if I continue this blah journey towards the highest level of edukation (ooohhh...ahhhh...), what happens if I don't have the willingness?
Teachers ask: What do you want to be?
Me: Oh, my mum wants me to be an economist, my dad hopes that I could have my own business. Teacher: What do you want to be?
Me: No frickin' idea.
You see, I don't plan my future. I hate planning stuff, organising and whatnot. When things don't turn out as planned, people get ugly. And I hate that. Hate is indeed a strong word, but that's exactly what I feel. I like thinking about the past though, very slow to move on. I'm weird like that, so don't bother.
I want to talk about lighter stuff now. Don't want to turn this one into another depressed one.
You see, I'm in love. Very much.
I am in love with...AyuShuya<3.
I love you too, Ayu.
Awu bah, I am just too pathetic for my own good. I can't help it. Besides, I am much more comfortable seeing two people fall in love rather than myself. God, that just sounds so voyeur-ish.
You see that? Even Shuya is laughing awkwardly. Sorry, man.
But they are just so sweet. You see, when I first got to know Ayu, the first PV that attracted me was My Name's WOMEN, wit Shuya looking all pretty and Ayu hot.
Yes, believe me, that is Shuya. With make-up on, obviously. The other male dancers too, but why would I even bother screencapping them? And yes, Ayu was about to kiss Shuya, except she decided to throw him off the stage when they were centimetres away from each other. HOT.
Technically, the first P I saw from Ayu was Rainy Day, but what do I care about some woman sitting on a bench, in the rain, singing to a dog? Maybe if the dog was Shuya, it would've been a different thing altogether.
Anyway, honestly, I didn't care about him much at that time, because my eyes were set on another dancer. Then, I accidentally found out about Shuya, like his name. And then I realised Shuya's been playing Ayu's lover quite a few times. During concerts, sometimes dancers get solos or main character, let's see. Mitsu got one in AT05 for Game and Naoto did a solo for Carols. Then in AT06, Naoto did another solo for Rainy Day. In both concerts, Shuya wasn't that...acknowledged yet? Although he did get special roles where there's only him and another dancer with Ayu. Getting closer XD
Suddenly, AT07, BOOM. Shuya got THREE lead roles. FIVE, if you consider the special screens. Taskinst---> Until That Day...--->Appears--->Part of me (plus special screen)
Oh hey, I photoshopped this! Haha. I want that scene, and they didn't have it. Might as well make one of my own! From the two screencaps below:
Sexy in Until that Day...
Romantic in appears.
Emotional in part of Me.
Other than that, he performed a solo for Fated twice, during a-nation and CDL 07-08. Fated became my faourite song because it reminds me of his solo. And in AT08, he has another solo, HANABI. My Ayu favourite even before I know he was going to do a solo.
Now, I know that even with all these, it's possible that their relationship is simply platonic and my feet are firmly on the ground. Maybe they're really close friends at most. O, who knows, long lost brother as fans have claimed they have similar facial features. Maybe Shuya was given so man roles because he is one of the main selling points nowadays as well. Since, from the screams during concerts, he got the loudest among the dancers. Besides, she might be accused of "pulling a britney" if she goes out with her dancer. But, I can keep on dreaming. Really.
I love you, Shuya.
I love you too, Ayu.
Let us run away now. Cheerio~
This is what you get for asking me to update, people. Haha. Ever wonder how I managed to skip from coplaining about life to swooning over Ayushuya? XD
You know what, this post is basically a repeat/summary/another point of view of this post.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
I am very sorry.
Ahhhh! It's breaking my heart! I went back into that Yamaki forum to grab all the chapters so that I can save them to my hard disc, as well as make a copy for Baz (if she's still interested anyway) and I just had to post a comment in that thread. The comment after that really made me feel bad. It was a comment by one of my readers (more like a friend<3)
That was just part of her comment. You see, the thing is, I want to update! I just don't know how. I REALLY put the readers as my top priority, which is why I try to think the best way to continue the story (except for that one time where I only wrote for the sake of getting positive feedback, although it was only one chapter, I feel guilty). Unfortunately, I lost that ability.This is one of the reasons I stopped updating. All the ideas in my head are just way too boring. Besides that, I've been running away quite a few times, but I always came back with good chapters. But not anymore, it seems. I even apologised every time I came back, only to disappear again.
If this is how I am going to run a business in the future, I better not. I give the best service/goods to my consumers, until I finally run out of ideas, and then I'll run away? Then I come back churning out low-quality goods just for the heck of it? I think not.
You may think I'm taking all these too seriously. I am, honestly. But I have good reason for that. The people there have appreciated my effort, and they were hoping for me to continue until the end. I just feel so bad for leaving all those behind just like that. I did think about it though, who knows, maybe they were saying it for the sake of saying it. But I just want to believe that they really meant it, so that it will in some ways make me feel better.
I can't say I love YamaKi as much as I used to, I have to admit that. But that forum introduced me to more than YamaKi. I found new friends through my stories as well as others. You know what, I might forget about this soon and cheer up. And then, few months later I will remember and get all cheesy again.
I love you guys. <3
If you don't feel like writing for now, then just don't force yourself. I mean, we love your fanfiction and many people wish to know how it will end, and I guess we all fell for these characters. But you know, as a reader and author, I respect the fact that for now you won't update, and maybe you'll never update, that's your personal choice. But remember that for the time you were writing, I really enjoyed it and I'll be still supporting you on your future works, Yamaki or not, fanfictions or not.
That was just part of her comment. You see, the thing is, I want to update! I just don't know how. I REALLY put the readers as my top priority, which is why I try to think the best way to continue the story (except for that one time where I only wrote for the sake of getting positive feedback, although it was only one chapter, I feel guilty). Unfortunately, I lost that ability.This is one of the reasons I stopped updating. All the ideas in my head are just way too boring. Besides that, I've been running away quite a few times, but I always came back with good chapters. But not anymore, it seems. I even apologised every time I came back, only to disappear again.
If this is how I am going to run a business in the future, I better not. I give the best service/goods to my consumers, until I finally run out of ideas, and then I'll run away? Then I come back churning out low-quality goods just for the heck of it? I think not.
You may think I'm taking all these too seriously. I am, honestly. But I have good reason for that. The people there have appreciated my effort, and they were hoping for me to continue until the end. I just feel so bad for leaving all those behind just like that. I did think about it though, who knows, maybe they were saying it for the sake of saying it. But I just want to believe that they really meant it, so that it will in some ways make me feel better.
I can't say I love YamaKi as much as I used to, I have to admit that. But that forum introduced me to more than YamaKi. I found new friends through my stories as well as others. You know what, I might forget about this soon and cheer up. And then, few months later I will remember and get all cheesy again.
I love you guys. <3
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