I am very sorry.

Ahhhh! It's breaking my heart! I went back into that Yamaki forum to grab all the chapters so that I can save them to my hard disc, as well as make a copy for Baz (if she's still interested anyway) and I just had to post a comment in that thread. The comment after that really made me feel bad. It was a comment by one of my readers (more like a friend<3)

If you don't feel like writing for now, then just don't force yourself. I mean, we love your fanfiction and many people wish to know how it will end, and I guess we all fell for these characters. But you know, as a reader and author, I respect the fact that for now you won't update, and maybe you'll never update, that's your personal choice. But remember that for the time you were writing, I really enjoyed it and I'll be still supporting you on your future works, Yamaki or not, fanfictions or not.

That was just part of her comment. You see, the thing is, I want to update! I just don't know how. I REALLY put the readers as my top priority, which is why I try to think the best way to continue the story (except for that one time where I only wrote for the sake of getting positive feedback, although it was only one chapter, I feel guilty). Unfortunately, I lost that ability.This is one of the reasons I stopped updating. All the ideas in my head are just way too boring. Besides that, I've been running away quite a few times, but I always came back with good chapters. But not anymore, it seems. I even apologised every time I came back, only to disappear again.

If this is how I am going to run a business in the future, I better not. I give the best service/goods to my consumers, until I finally run out of ideas, and then I'll run away? Then I come back churning out low-quality goods just for the heck of it? I think not.

You may think I'm taking all these too seriously. I am, honestly. But I have good reason for that. The people there have appreciated my effort, and they were hoping for me to continue until the end. I just feel so bad for leaving all those behind just like that. I did think about it though, who knows, maybe they were saying it for the sake of saying it. But I just want to believe that they really meant it, so that it will in some ways make me feel better.

I can't say I love YamaKi as much as I used to, I have to admit that. But that forum introduced me to more than YamaKi. I found new friends through my stories as well as others. You know what, I might forget about this soon and cheer up. And then, few months later I will remember and get all cheesy again.











I love you guys. <3