Are scholarships the one and only way to make your parents proud? Does going overseas to study actually prove anything, other than "OMG so smart and so rich one this kid family!"? Is being a good child not enough? I have to admit, I do have some rough moments with my parents, but it's not like I've ever humiliated them or anything. Sure, I've disappointed them, but why must they have high hopes on me all the time? They would say, "it's for your own good". What's the real deal here? Is it because I'm their eldest child and I'm supposed to make all these efforts? Or is it because their friends' kids are better than me, and their dignity is basically crushed when they listen to their friends' stories?
My mother emphasised, "you must get a scholarship. A levels don't mean anything these days." See what I mean? And she continues, "Just three more steps to success, a Degree, a Master, and a PhD." I just don't know how to reply to that. They expect too much. It's probably a way for them to cope with their regrets in terms of their own education level, but why push so much on me?
They want me to have a secure future. Yes, I want that too. I'm not motivated to work hard for it, but I want to. I don't want to depend on my parents when they're supposed to depend on me in the future. But don't push me too hard, or else I'll fall off. (Okay, that was corny, but that's how I basically feel.)
I don't want to mature too soon, I still enjoy my responsibilities-free life. When I said I want to go to Peter Pan's Neverland, sometimes, I really mean it. And I'll bring my laptop with me and invent electricity over there.
You know what, I'm going to have to choose between photoshopping or doodling right now. I have to distract myself from life.
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