This is the school holidays. 3 more days left. 2, in fact. Damn. I hate countdowns.
I need a friend right now. I need someone who can reassure me that it's alright. That everything is going to be fine. That I won't be killed by my teachers for not finishing my homeworks just yet. D:
I thought you're suppose to rest during holidays. And that purpose is lost when you have so-called concerned teachers who just want the best for you when they dump all those assignments on you. This, my friends, is the fate of the future leaders. Yeah, whatever that means.
I dooooooon't want to do my homework. I don't have the mood to do my homework. I can't force myself to do my homework. Damn rants.
So which is it you want to hear, lame excuses or unacceptable reasons?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I used to.
I used to be crazy about YamaKi. That's short for Yamapi+Maki. Both are j-actors. I used to be in this forum dedicated to that pairing. I used to write this fanfiction about them. I never completed that fanfiction. It was called "Tick, tock. I still love you". I know it sounds mushy, but that was when I was still in my "jiwang" and "japaneeeze ish kawaii~! (^___^)Y" state. That was last year.
Few weeks back, I stumbled across that forum again. People were still commenting on my story. I was happy, yet on the dark side, I was suddenly obsessed with the amount of praises they were giving me. And I felt like I wanted more. So I wrote another chapter. And people loved it, but I didn't because I realised that that chapter didn't come from the bottom of my heart. So again, I stopped until now.
Today, I went to the forum again. I read the comments for all 11 chapters I wrote. I was touched because the readers genuinely loved my story for what it is. I wanted, I desperately wanted to continue that story, just for the readers, but I don't have any inspiration on what to write.
Few weeks back, I stumbled across that forum again. People were still commenting on my story. I was happy, yet on the dark side, I was suddenly obsessed with the amount of praises they were giving me. And I felt like I wanted more. So I wrote another chapter. And people loved it, but I didn't because I realised that that chapter didn't come from the bottom of my heart. So again, I stopped until now.
Today, I went to the forum again. I read the comments for all 11 chapters I wrote. I was touched because the readers genuinely loved my story for what it is. I wanted, I desperately wanted to continue that story, just for the readers, but I don't have any inspiration on what to write.
(mainly about) 2nd Brunei Interschool Kendo Workshop
I have no idea how to start this post. Probably with this, OMG I'm in the newspaper! DD: It was for the LiveWIRE thing. I didn't really care, but damn, a lot of people noticed. Haha. Many of them went, "I SAW YOU IN THE PAPER." It made me realise that people actually read the newspaper. Wow.
Secondly, the awesome Kendo workshop male kendoka from our school showed up. His name is Hafiz. Thanks, kiddo! (He has a nickname now. It's Chip. Because he looks like a chipmunk. Riku and I unofficially adopted him ) Ramzul is not taken into account because he only attended the workshop for one day.
Since a few days have passed, the "excitement and enthusiasm" to talk about it is gone, but I definitely miss those three days. Let me see if I can actually remember.
I met a lot of new people, most of them PAP Masna girls. (Don't get me wrong, Riku XDDD) Also the Belait kendokas. Speaking of which, Riku, Hafiz and ! had lunch at Excapade with two of them, Raion and Zul a.k.a Kyozen (as to not confuse between him and Zool-senpai) Riku dubbed the lunch Brunei-Belait Kendoka Bonding Moment! Yeah, so there were only five of us. Consider us as representatives from the two districts.
Another bright side of this workshop was that I also get to meet the kendokas I haven't seen a long loooong time. Mainly due to my absence in the dojo. Haha. Sure, my fault. Edie (I still haven't figured out the spelling to his name), Adelyn, Raito, Adee/Adi/D (another name I'm not sure with)...(siapa lagi ah? XD) Far was there too. She just dropped by though, as she has to go to work. T___T
As usual, we were divided into groups. I... don't really remember what we did. XD We were mainly doing the basics, like ashi sabaki and the cuts, as well as the dojo etiquettes(Yes, I spelled that WITHOUT the spell checker MUAHAHA). Actually, I'm surprised to see that some of them still step over the shinais when passing. D:
We did kata in the afternoon session. We did ipponme kata. I've learnt that COUNTLESS times already, although I have actually forgotten how to do it in the beginning of the year, but I did quite fine, I guess. We were taught kata #2 and #3 on the last day, by a senpai whom I shall only refer to as "Rimba guy"-senpai. *rolls eyes* I forgot wah, you see. He call me "MS girl" bah, you see. I got annoyed bah, you see. You not annoyed, issit? I berry annoyed like strawberry, you see. I berry lame, oso, you see. You still not annoyed, issit?
The highlight of the day (of all 3 days, in fact) was the kendo war. More known as Sponge Shinai war. Less known as Sponge war, for fear of being confused with the sponges you use to clean your dishes, as well as to avoid copyright issues with Spongebob Squarepants. It's basically the best part of the workshop, the most-awaited. It would start with two groups battling against each other, bogu-less, armed with shinais/bokkens made of sponge so that the impact of the hit won't be as big. You get knocked out of the game by being hit on the head ('men' cut), wrists ('kote' cut) and abdomen ('Do' cut). But you see, in the real fight, rules were basically ignored. Like me, I got bruises on my cheeks, my upper arms and my back. They friggin bashed. No one-on-one fights. Heck, I had to face 4-5 guys on my own sometimes. The winning team is the team with the most survivors. Then, the winning team will fight against the seniors. As in, you know, THE seniors. The juniors obviously outnumbered the seniors, like a 1:5 ratio, I think. But we lost on the first day, The seniors just hit their way through us. On the second day...we decided to cheat. Instead of a one-on-one, we decided to go ten-on-one. It was no longer war. It was BULLYING. And oh boy, did we have fun. XD Same goes to the third day, except on the third day, there was one final battle where nobody gets knocked out/dies. You can go crazy and hit as much as you like. At least I think that was it, because that's what I did. XD
And there we go. I didn't take any pictures, too lazy to take out my phone. So, I decided to it the slacker's way and steal pictures from others. And eevn then I couldn't be bothered to show all. Haha. Here are the group photos (of course with me in it XD)
Allstolen taken from bruneikendo.blogspot.com, uploaded by various people (see, at least I credit, even though I have no idea who uploaded which XD)
Secondly, the awesome Kendo workshop male kendoka from our school showed up. His name is Hafiz. Thanks, kiddo! (He has a nickname now. It's Chip. Because he looks like a chipmunk. Riku and I unofficially adopted him ) Ramzul is not taken into account because he only attended the workshop for one day.
Since a few days have passed, the "excitement and enthusiasm" to talk about it is gone, but I definitely miss those three days. Let me see if I can actually remember.
I met a lot of new people, most of them PAP Masna girls. (Don't get me wrong, Riku XDDD) Also the Belait kendokas. Speaking of which, Riku, Hafiz and ! had lunch at Excapade with two of them, Raion and Zul a.k.a Kyozen (as to not confuse between him and Zool-senpai) Riku dubbed the lunch Brunei-Belait Kendoka Bonding Moment! Yeah, so there were only five of us. Consider us as representatives from the two districts.
Another bright side of this workshop was that I also get to meet the kendokas I haven't seen a long loooong time. Mainly due to my absence in the dojo. Haha. Sure, my fault. Edie (I still haven't figured out the spelling to his name), Adelyn, Raito, Adee/Adi/D (another name I'm not sure with)...(siapa lagi ah? XD) Far was there too. She just dropped by though, as she has to go to work. T___T
As usual, we were divided into groups. I... don't really remember what we did. XD We were mainly doing the basics, like ashi sabaki and the cuts, as well as the dojo etiquettes(Yes, I spelled that WITHOUT the spell checker MUAHAHA). Actually, I'm surprised to see that some of them still step over the shinais when passing. D:
We did kata in the afternoon session. We did ipponme kata. I've learnt that COUNTLESS times already, although I have actually forgotten how to do it in the beginning of the year, but I did quite fine, I guess. We were taught kata #2 and #3 on the last day, by a senpai whom I shall only refer to as "Rimba guy"-senpai. *rolls eyes* I forgot wah, you see. He call me "MS girl" bah, you see. I got annoyed bah, you see. You not annoyed, issit? I berry annoyed like strawberry, you see. I berry lame, oso, you see. You still not annoyed, issit?
The highlight of the day (of all 3 days, in fact) was the kendo war. More known as Sponge Shinai war. Less known as Sponge war, for fear of being confused with the sponges you use to clean your dishes, as well as to avoid copyright issues with Spongebob Squarepants. It's basically the best part of the workshop, the most-awaited. It would start with two groups battling against each other, bogu-less, armed with shinais/bokkens made of sponge so that the impact of the hit won't be as big. You get knocked out of the game by being hit on the head ('men' cut), wrists ('kote' cut) and abdomen ('Do' cut). But you see, in the real fight, rules were basically ignored. Like me, I got bruises on my cheeks, my upper arms and my back. They friggin bashed. No one-on-one fights. Heck, I had to face 4-5 guys on my own sometimes. The winning team is the team with the most survivors. Then, the winning team will fight against the seniors. As in, you know, THE seniors. The juniors obviously outnumbered the seniors, like a 1:5 ratio, I think. But we lost on the first day, The seniors just hit their way through us. On the second day...we decided to cheat. Instead of a one-on-one, we decided to go ten-on-one. It was no longer war. It was BULLYING. And oh boy, did we have fun. XD Same goes to the third day, except on the third day, there was one final battle where nobody gets knocked out/dies. You can go crazy and hit as much as you like. At least I think that was it, because that's what I did. XD
And there we go. I didn't take any pictures, too lazy to take out my phone. So, I decided to it the slacker's way and steal pictures from others. And eevn then I couldn't be bothered to show all. Haha. Here are the group photos (of course with me in it XD)
All
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Me vs. Myself
I want to read new manga (that's 'japanese comic' for you...non-japanese-comic readers). I wish I can go to Best Eastern to get some new ones. I need to update my Blood+ and Vagabond. Oh, Ouran and Vampire Knight have new volumes too! I also found out that the second volume of Otomen is out. There's this other interesting manga that I want to read. I forgot the name, the mangaka is the same as Vampire Knights, which means nice drawings = hot guys. (Imagine I'm Sya. Instead of taking about dresses, shoes and make-up, I talk about manga. I amuse myself. Ha.)
Yes, I'm so pathetic, I'm into drawings. D: Hey, don't have a real dream guy. The characteristics they MUST have is...they have to be guys who look like girls who look like guys. They say I'm a gay-in-denial for liking guys who look like girls. XD I've mentioned that a lot. Laugh. Come on. I'm repeating my jokes all over. Laugh. Shuya is practically the only real-life candidate :/ I need more choices, therefore giving me freedom and power. Or was it the other way around? Who cares?
Maybe I should download them, but I'm. Just. Too. Lazy. I rather flip through paper pages than clicking the "next" arrow. Then again, I download most of my manga, only to save it in a CD which I will lose in a month's time. Great.
On with today's events. Bright Ideas workshop Day 2. Seems like only 16 out of 20 registered participants showed up. You know what sucks? That MS students practically took up more than half the seats. During this one game, Delilah-Goliath-Samson, it's the MS students against others. It was unintentional, but we just ended up together. And this other game, where we were paired up randomly, again MS students ended up with each other. And none of us got into the Top 3. Haha.
I learnt about the reality of business today. The horrors. Like Ms. Jess, I am pretty much risk-adverse. (I learnt that word from her, I never knew there was a word to describe that before XD) And business is a pretty risky...business. Yeah. And how in Brunei, businesses are easy to start it seems, for sole proprietorship and partnership, but to last long, you need to take RISKS. And I'm not ready for that.
Yes, I'm so pathetic, I'm into drawings. D: Hey, don't have a real dream guy. The characteristics they MUST have is...they have to be guys who look like girls who look like guys. They say I'm a gay-in-denial for liking guys who look like girls. XD I've mentioned that a lot. Laugh. Come on. I'm repeating my jokes all over. Laugh. Shuya is practically the only real-life candidate :/ I need more choices, therefore giving me freedom and power. Or was it the other way around? Who cares?
Maybe I should download them, but I'm. Just. Too. Lazy. I rather flip through paper pages than clicking the "next" arrow. Then again, I download most of my manga, only to save it in a CD which I will lose in a month's time. Great.
On with today's events. Bright Ideas workshop Day 2. Seems like only 16 out of 20 registered participants showed up. You know what sucks? That MS students practically took up more than half the seats. During this one game, Delilah-Goliath-Samson, it's the MS students against others. It was unintentional, but we just ended up together. And this other game, where we were paired up randomly, again MS students ended up with each other. And none of us got into the Top 3. Haha.
I learnt about the reality of business today. The horrors. Like Ms. Jess, I am pretty much risk-adverse. (I learnt that word from her, I never knew there was a word to describe that before XD) And business is a pretty risky...business. Yeah. And how in Brunei, businesses are easy to start it seems, for sole proprietorship and partnership, but to last long, you need to take RISKS. And I'm not ready for that.
Monday, June 16, 2008
I don't hate. I prefer.
Summary of the day: Fun.
Went to Bright Ideas Workshop today. Didn't know there was a maximum of 20 participants only. Yayasan at 7.30 is so...quiet. It was so scary, and behind the glass walls, everything is dark. The fountain wasn't on yet, or whatever. I was walking all alone in the deserted...space(?) between the two buildings, and only when I called Baz did I felt relieved to hear another human voice. A cute one. XD
Anyway, went up to the 4th floor, registered, and there we were. When we introduced ourselves, I kind of noticed whispers going on between others when half the participants (including me) said they were from MS. LOL, well, can't help it anyway. We did a heck lot of thinking that morning. The speaker, Steven, was twisting and ripping our minds apart. D: But well, at least we did our fair share to fully participate. Anyway, he would ask us if we understand, poor man had to make us respond by saying "hello?" a lot. I don't like responding to those "do you understand?"/"do you get me?"/"'ya dig what Imma hollerin', muthafacku?!" questions, because it will always be "yes", unless I do have questions. Don't wanna sound monotonous, man.
We had lunch at Jollibee. Baz, Muizzah, Sya, Zirah, Hjh Anie, a new friend named Izzati and me. Walked around in Body Shop (uh-huh =__=) and just...walked around.
The afternoon session was fun as well. But you now what, it must be all that food. I was starting to lose focus. XD We played a game, listing all businesses from A-Z. Haha, included 'prostitution' as well. Well, it IS a legal business, is it not? I think it was Baz's and Muizzah's group, they included child trafficking. Hey, the rules were "no restrictions" and "anything that you can make money of". If only we got D, I'd have included drug-dealings. XD
After that, we were briefed about accounting. 0___o I never took accounting in my whole life. So yeah, like Sya said, a little bit of info overload. Plus again, the food. XD
And then it ends.
Went to Bright Ideas Workshop today. Didn't know there was a maximum of 20 participants only. Yayasan at 7.30 is so...quiet. It was so scary, and behind the glass walls, everything is dark. The fountain wasn't on yet, or whatever. I was walking all alone in the deserted...space(?) between the two buildings, and only when I called Baz did I felt relieved to hear another human voice. A cute one. XD
Anyway, went up to the 4th floor, registered, and there we were. When we introduced ourselves, I kind of noticed whispers going on between others when half the participants (including me) said they were from MS. LOL, well, can't help it anyway. We did a heck lot of thinking that morning. The speaker, Steven, was twisting and ripping our minds apart. D: But well, at least we did our fair share to fully participate. Anyway, he would ask us if we understand, poor man had to make us respond by saying "hello?" a lot. I don't like responding to those "do you understand?"/"do you get me?"/"'ya dig what Imma hollerin', muthafacku?!" questions, because it will always be "yes", unless I do have questions. Don't wanna sound monotonous, man.
We had lunch at Jollibee. Baz, Muizzah, Sya, Zirah, Hjh Anie, a new friend named Izzati and me. Walked around in Body Shop (uh-huh =__=) and just...walked around.
The afternoon session was fun as well. But you now what, it must be all that food. I was starting to lose focus. XD We played a game, listing all businesses from A-Z. Haha, included 'prostitution' as well. Well, it IS a legal business, is it not? I think it was Baz's and Muizzah's group, they included child trafficking. Hey, the rules were "no restrictions" and "anything that you can make money of". If only we got D, I'd have included drug-dealings. XD
After that, we were briefed about accounting. 0___o I never took accounting in my whole life. So yeah, like Sya said, a little bit of info overload. Plus again, the food. XD
And then it ends.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Starting anew
I want to change my blog's look. It's getting pretty boring. So while it's under construction, I'll keep it WHITE. I wish I know how to make layouts because the ones I found aren't really what I want. I'm in the process of making a stupid banner. We'll see how it looks like.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A very short update.
When I said I don't want to go to school anymore, I didn't mean this. I HAVE A FRICKIN' FEVER. Just came back from the doctors. Last night, I had a headache as well as chest pains. Turns out it was a fever, The doctor said a fever can cause some muscle aches, which is exactly why I had chest pains. So nothing serious there, I hope. I was given a two-day MC. I've never missed school. The only reason why I said I don't want to go to school anymore must be because of the hols. Damn. Even the way I'm writing right now is so jumbled up. Anyway, in the midst of my headaches last night, I managed to come up with this:
I love blending pictures nowadays. Results seem pretty weak, but this shows you that I don't only work with Ayumi's pictures. Muahaha. I'll edit this post when I find out what sites I took the brushes from. =.=
Now I shall wait for the sleeping effect of the cough syrup to knock my head off.
(I used to talk a whole lot about Kendo, and now it's Photoshop. Two questions are on top of my head, "How long will this last?" and "What next?")
I love blending pictures nowadays. Results seem pretty weak, but this shows you that I don't only work with Ayumi's pictures. Muahaha. I'll edit this post when I find out what sites I took the brushes from. =.=
Now I shall wait for the sleeping effect of the cough syrup to knock my head off.
(I used to talk a whole lot about Kendo, and now it's Photoshop. Two questions are on top of my head, "How long will this last?" and "What next?")
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Target is lost.
So like, I guess everyone's been mentioning this. A PU2 guy talked about blogging yesterday for his speech. "Blogging is very popular here in Brunei. Especially in our school. More specifically among us seniors." What Zah said is so true. Blogging is the new friendster. It's annoying the hell out of me. I started blogging in 2006, and I assume that time was before the hype was all over Brunei. At that time, barely anyone I know has blog. If I'm not mistaken, the only ones I know with a blog at that time were Wana, Lylah and Pinji. It's just getting too overrated. *sigh*
I honestly don't want to go to school anymore. All the homework, assignments and tests are totally sucking the fun out of life. Sometimes I really do wish to quit school for real. Setan mengasut. I'm tired, I;'m exhausted, and I don't think I can reach that dream of landing on an awesome job with huge paychecks and crap. Heck, that's not even my dream. It's my mum's dream. =___= I hate life too. I don't know why. I guess I'm pretty frustrated and I need to blame it on something. So I blame it on life. On everything.
Well, at least for once, today, I managed to let all the accumulated stress (coming from nowhere) out during kendo :) I actually had fun. All this time, I wailed not wanting to train during CCA. Glad I did though today. But we learned how to kiai (for the sake of the juniors) so hell yeah. Kiai-ed (more like screaming/shouting) with all my might. Just needed to let go. But I'm not sure about next week. Remember the time when I was OBSESSED with Kendo? I said I didn't want stop doing Kendo for the rest of my life. I said I'd be really good at it and train hard. All that is crap. I still will train. But I guess that passion is gone. Temporarily or permanently? Don't know.
"YOU'RE SOOO EMOOOOOO~"
I honestly don't want to go to school anymore. All the homework, assignments and tests are totally sucking the fun out of life. Sometimes I really do wish to quit school for real. Setan mengasut. I'm tired, I;'m exhausted, and I don't think I can reach that dream of landing on an awesome job with huge paychecks and crap. Heck, that's not even my dream. It's my mum's dream. =___= I hate life too. I don't know why. I guess I'm pretty frustrated and I need to blame it on something. So I blame it on life. On everything.
Well, at least for once, today, I managed to let all the accumulated stress (coming from nowhere) out during kendo :) I actually had fun. All this time, I wailed not wanting to train during CCA. Glad I did though today. But we learned how to kiai (for the sake of the juniors) so hell yeah. Kiai-ed (more like screaming/shouting) with all my might. Just needed to let go. But I'm not sure about next week. Remember the time when I was OBSESSED with Kendo? I said I didn't want stop doing Kendo for the rest of my life. I said I'd be really good at it and train hard. All that is crap. I still will train. But I guess that passion is gone. Temporarily or permanently? Don't know.
"YOU'RE SOOO EMOOOOOO~"
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Prog-res-sion?
Special announcement of the day: Now that it's 2 AM, I realised that I'm 2 hours late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PINJI!
-On to business-
Few months ago, when I first started photoshopping, I used to make things like this:
Now, I can make things like this with the same pictures:
*ignore the fact that there is a topless Shuya*
AWUUU...AKU KAMBANG. See, aku kambang berabis sampai aku cakap melayu. Because after struggling for so long, I finally managed to put a videoclip in my graphics! Of course the first few experiments were done on these two!
Some more, you want see see? XD
I know all of them are of Hamasaki Ayumi, but you think I can help it? Other artists I'm into don't really have fun pictures to play with, like YUI. :( The last one is my absolute favourite.
C'mon people, say, "OMG! SO PRETTY!" XD It's not like I always get to show off things I'm good at. Haha. Like, I can't show off my test marks or anything. lol But these, I can.
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