We're having a kendo demo this saturday afternoon at the gym, for the Singapore MOE, if I'm not mistaken. It seems like all of us have to come. The problem is, I'm still not good at kendo, yet. I think that's what the karate people are training for too, I think.
Have you guys ever felt so frustrated for being bad at something you love? Like, really really stressed out you feel like you want to hit your head on the wall until your skull is exposed and die due to a major headache? That is exactly what I feel like doing. I don't know, maybe because I'm still a beginner, or maybe because I naturally suck at everything I do, but it's like I don't seem to be that good at kendo. When I'm alone, I'm not saying I did the steps perfectly, but I guess it looks better rather than during CCA. During CCA, it's like, my brain totally went blank and I lost my voice. I was so confused, like, where's right? Where's left? Forward? Backward? What's after three? five? What do you mean?! Yes, it seems that my mind state at that time was that of a shy two-year-old. It was THAT stressful.
Anyway, dad said I can have a shinai! But he said I should just have the $30 one for a start, and I think I'm going to use my own money this time. Yeah, well, you see, when you buy things using your own money, the thing you bought it with just seems more special. Don't you think so?
Also, my sister said my mum's scholarship application has been accepted. I asked my sister again the next day but then she said she wasn't sure, yet she saw the letter from UCAS. It was quite surprising to me, because I didn't expect the reply to come that fast, if it did actually come.
Wow huh. I didn't actually know how to respond to this. "YAYYYY" or "....." I remembered my mum saying that if her application was accepted, she's going to bring along my youngest sister and brother with her, since the primary level education is free. She WILL bring me along with her if I manage to get 6 0s and above. And that is another problem. Even if I do get 6 0s, do I want to leave Brunei? I mean, *sigh* I really don't like my family breaking up. Half in Brunei, half in UK.
My cousin's mum also went to UK last year. Mother to a friend of mine as well. Man, mothers this days, they're just so ambitous.
/EDIT/ Ok, my sis said she saw a FORM from UCAS, not some "You've Been Accepted" letter. At least I hope not. Well, not yet that is./EDIT/
2 comments:
Yeah I have felt so frustrated because of karate... I think it was last year, I really2 sucked masa training kumite (sparring) and my sensei even said "Nda pedah ngajar". Felt so depressed I cried as soon as I jumped into the car. Imagine... 9 years training and kana cakap cematu, I felt like shit brabis. I even considered quitting! But eventually I took it positively and just made it my motivation and you should do the same maj... There's no such thing as being naturally bad at something. If you love it that much, you would do everything, sacrifice everything to improve.. and THAT's a true martial artist.
"Nda pedah ngajar"? OUCH banar tu eh. I didn't know that. Well, at least you didn't quit and kept on going kan. I just hope that nanti-nanti I'll get the things right. Wan, you're my inspiration. XD
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