BoredomMmM.

I have a tendency to cry when I am extremely and excessively bored. Why? Because boredom leads to pressure. Pressure leads to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts leads to crying. Crying leads to depression. Depression leads to suicide. No, I haven't and won't go that far. Or maybe. I guess I'm just PMSing.
Yesterday, My parents, sisters and I went to Ahan Thai for dinner. Before that, my parents have already advised all of us to BEHAVE. I tried, but my sisters? NOOOOO. One provok3ed the other, and it led to a shouting match. I was quiet all this time, when my mum suddenly explode and pointed to all our wrongdoings, INCLUDING MINE, who was trying to fucking behave. SEE? I thought this was a normal family outing. BUT NOOO. Of course not. This is my family. Right. I had a stomachache after the dinner which ruins my mood even more. SIGH and me beloved mummy going blablabla. I didn't want to be rude but I just kept quiet the whole time, or my heart is just going to explode.
Today, we went to visit my Lamunin grandma. Another stressful day. I hate going out with my family. It's just so...depressing. No, we don't sing in the car. We don't crack jokes with each other. We don't ask, "How's your day?" No. This is just the oppurtunity for the all of us to get on eachothers' nerve. Because at home, we DON'T spend time with eachother, except during meals. Which are very rare. We only have a family meals when my father's home. As in, when my dad has night shifts (and he comes back in the morning). Gah. I've given hope on having a happy family.