Honesty?

I am in a huge dilemma right now. My cousins wanted to bring me out today. But I can't since my father's not home. So my cousin replied, in a sarcastic tone, "This must be about her brother again. What about your mother?"

My inner reply was, "HELLO, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. YOU GUYS ARE NOT THE ONE WITH AN AUTISTIC BROTHER SO PLEASE FUCK OFF."

But nah, I just replied calmly, saying that my dad's not home, and my mum won't let me out without my dad.

Seriously, man. I don't expect them to suddenly become very understanding about my life's situation. They really don't get what my brother is all about. My brother has his own preferences. Which happens to be either my dad or me. Not my mum, not my other sisters or brother, and not my maids. They just don't get it. I wonder if they ever will. They think, "Ok, if your dad's not home, then let your mum take care of him. If your mum's not home, let the maids take care of him. No big deal."

No big deal, my ass.

Once, when I was planning to sleep at my grandpa's, and I was already at my grandpa's, while my dad was working the night shift, my mum had to pick me up at 12 midnight because my brother is practically crushing everything into pieces, due to me not being there. No, I'm not exaggarating. My mum lost two perfumes, one bottle of honey, and my little brother was almost suffocated. NOne of us got sleep that night, but I managed to calm him down. SEE? IT IS A FUCKING BIG DEAL.

What really pisses me off is how my cousins being such bitches about the whole thing.

I was never in the mood to go out anyway. Especially when it's the three of us. And more when they have their various number of boyfriends tagging along. I feel so left out. Doesn't mean I want a boyfriend. Heck, I'm better off living when I get to sleep with books. I mean, seriously, if all you care about is the date you're having with your boyfirends, count me out. Or leave me alone at the mall so that I can go check out Chong Hock and Best Eastern.

NOW, THE GREAT NEWS IS, THEY POSTPONED THE PLAN TO NEXT WEEK! YAY! (sarcasm detected)

Sheesh, man. Seriously, Why can't it be just the two of you? I mean, I don't mind if you guys didn't drag me along. And the greater news is (greater sarcasm detected), we're going to watch three movies, in a row! Fuuuuck. No, I;m not eactly a fan of movies. Adn the ticket price is $6, dude! 6 x 3= $18! You expect me to spend $18 just for the movies? You know what their reply was after I said that? They said, in a very btichy tone, "Hello, your parents kan ada."

YOU THINK IT'S THAT EASY TO ASK MONEY FROM MY PARENTS? Ok, it is easy. I can just blurt it out. And they'll give it to me. But not just like that, man. I'm not like you guys, who can ask for bucks without a strike of guilt in your hearts.

And the biggest problem is, you think my parents will let me out? You think my parents are as liberal as your parents? You think my parents are as open-minded as your parents? You think my parents will have the slightest consideration of letting me free, THIS YEAR? It's a cursed year for all three of us, it's the year of O levels. Maybe your parents are ok with it, since it's "still early of the year", but my parents aren't. Besides, our exams aren't exactly in the "end of the year."

I wish I can just scream all this stuff out to them, you know. But nah, lets not ruin this already distant relationship I have with them. That's me. Never showed my true feelings to them. Never did. Never will. Honesty is not in my vocabulary.