Got raisin?

I hate thinking about the future. I don't like to. It scares me to death. Thoughts like, am I going to Uni, am I gonna get a job, how long am I gonna live... seriously, all those just add up to the pressure. I didn't want to think about them, but somehow the surrounding situation keeps on reminding me all about them. I have very low self-motivation and self-confidence and self-esteem and whatevr you can think of. How depressing is this? Will I ever live through them? ...sigh.

Ever since the last few days, my room has turned from a heavenly sanctuary to a living hell. No, it's not the mess made of the papers, clothes and books, but more to homework. I happen to the my homework in my room, WHICH I HATE. Everytime I try to start on my homework, I just started screaming like some hysterical person and ran out of my room. Then, I watched tv, surf on the net and such. Then, I thought I had my mood back, and entered my room. But as soon as I entered my room, the atmosphere was dense. And I forced myself to do the homework. ANd, obviously I can't, so I just started throwing stuff here and there. (one reason why I keep losing my pens.) In the end, I fell asleep. Mind you, it wasn't on purpose. My brain was exhausted from thinking. This usually happens when I do homework that requires thinking. Such as maths, english, economics. Which is why I usually end up doing them in school. Well I feel much more calm, and no it wasn;t because I can copy answers from my friends, but because the time has become limited and my brain will become more active on thinking.

Also, I'm having quite a hectic life. I sleep in the afternoon, struggle on my homework during midnight, yawning like hell in the morning, and back to sleeping in the afternoon and doing homeowrk at midnight. I tried to avoid sleeping in the afternoon and do homework instead, but NOOOO. I can't. It was IMPOSSIBLE. I alwasy feel sleepy in the morning and can only hold it up til the afternoon. So that is why I alwasy cram my homework at night, where the hysteria comes back, or leave them up til morning.

Ah well, we had Kendo today, though we didn't do much Kendo, but more to "spiritual talk". LOL, Jin-senpai was telling us on how to do the cuts correctly and also, taught us some pick-up lines. Yes, he was feeling quite random at that time. Two of em were my favourites. One goes like this:

Boy: Hey, do you have a raisin?
Girl: No.
Boy: Then how about a date?

GET IT? GET IT? XDDDDDDDDDDD

The other one is like this,

Boy approaches girl, but too shy to talk. Then boy shouts, "Fat pigeon!" Girl was surprised, and said "What?" Boy shurgs, "I was trying to think of something to break the ice."

Another pick up line I barely remembered sounded somehting like, "Do you know how it feels like to fall from the sky?" or something. LOL, basically, hahaha. We even heard Jin-senpai talkig in malay. XDDDWeird. Just like Sir Bio. XDD karau, man, karau! "Pandang mataku. Pandang mataku. Jangan pandang orang di belakangku." It sounded like he was reciting a Surah or Hadis with that tone. XD he was trying to translate "Do not break eye contact."

Today's subjects were very dull.

Yay, 3-days hols starting tommorow! (a pile of homework suddenly rained) Oh crap. Sweet mother of the fuckers.